I am a proper church girl. Ok I admit it! For instance I try not to write very spiritual things but it comes out that way and I do try not to end a convo with a friend who maybe just shared with me a good thing that happened to her with a prayer of thanksgiving or a prayer for help when it’s a tale of woe but it’s become a natural response so much so that a friend shocked me today after I offered to pray for him over something. I concluded what I thought was a short prayer with an assured amen, when he, bemused replied : ” Pastor’s wife!” that jerked me right out of my holy cloud and I quickly pulled the halo of spiritual feelings off my head and hid it in embarrassment “ I’m not a pastors wife” I retorted but he had hung up laughing. I’ll still get him for that one! Him and Harris (Harris writes the articles for “hanging out with Harris” on my blog). He insists against my staunch resistance that I sound like one, so does girlfriend but that’s before I tackle her to the ground and try to physically get her to stop calling me that! What they see? I don’t know.
I don’t like the stereotype of being a “spiro” or the preachy type that makes your skin crawl every time you’re with them (those ones who when you’re around them just being yourself, want you to be perfect with your hair tucked in, straight-faced, speaking the right christianese in a pentecostal accent…lol) but truth be told, I enjoy church and I understand that environment very well. It’s an art and I call this piece the art of enjoying church. This one you have to read because it’s from the diary of an unlikely church girl.
THE ART OF ENJOYING CHURCH
I was at my cousins wedding almost a month ago and it was beautiful. The blushing bride was serenaded by her happy groom. You see he had come upon this idea to sing for his princess (and she was looking every bit like one) but someone should have advised him to save the best for the last or more accurately for a private concert only for his new wife but he bravely sang his heart and voice out oblivious to the tune, riding on pitches even the best in the industry fear to climb! It was a hearty rendition and we all helped the song along amid appreciative gales of laughter! It was a moment to remember. I enjoyed it and the many other magical moments that are possible in an atmosphere of goodwill mixed with some romance. I enjoyed them all because I let the atmosphere take over.
1. The first step towards enjoying church is cooperating with the atmosphere.
Let it steal you away for a moment. Don’t worry about the person next to you. Don’t wonder if they are lifting up their holy hands because they’ showing off their expensive jewelry, don’t be concerned that the person next to you might be the “agent” in your midst ( if God didn’t show you then you shouldn’t be concerned about it), don’t be suspicious of everybody smiling like they’re angels when by your calculations you are almost sure they’re terrors waiting to show their true colors, don’t wonder how to get the attention of the impeccably attired tall, dark and handsome who looks like his Armani suit was glued to him, or the hot legs wrapped in shimmery shine looking like a model off the pages of Vogue. Just plug into the moment and see it through appreciative eyes. See what’s to laugh about, what’s to sing about, what’s to reflect on.
2. Make friends.
Ask someone his name. Tell someone they look nice. Ask them where they work. Pick an interest in another person. You’ll always look forward to it if you know people there and know you’ll be seeing them again. I, for one, look forward to the “fellowship after fellowship”, that’s the time to catch up on friends I didn’t see during the week, greet the mothers and compliment their clothes and jewelry (they always ask you when you’re getting married and tease you about “the broda”) and mix up generally.
3. Be on time and participate.
There’s just something about coming late for any event that saps the juice out of your enjoyment of your first few minutes there. You feel you’re creating unnecessary attention and it takes you some minutes to defiantly return or ignore every accusing stare thrown your way. Plus it costs you another extra few minutes to settle in.
Participate. The easiest way to tell someone who’s not “getting blessed” is when you spot the aloof and “stand- offish” one who sits by themselves. They try not to get their impeccable clothes squeezed so they don’t dance too much only offering an occasional swing from side to side. They usually say very little and of course, they tend to look slightly upset at their neighbor who is dancing like there is no tomorrow wondering what is wrong with them! Lighten up and go with the flow. Wherever the mood takes you, if it’s God then it’s good. Also if you have a flair for an area in church, help out. There are always benefits and it’s the only place you get to learn your art and hone your skills for free!
4. Don’t bad mouth your church and don’t expect perfection.
The first tell tale sign that a person is likely to leave their job, a relationship or church is their complaints and constant critism of it. Yes, there are lapses you admit to but don’t go on and on rehearsing faults in your church. There’s no perfect church. The music may be great but not the delivery of the message or vice versa but don’t let that stop you. I find that it’s those unplanned slips in the service that make it a little less boring so enjoy them all, good and bad.
Ok Nike, time to go. Er, whatever you do this Sunday; Enjoy church!
February 23, 2009
Hanging out with HARRIS
I met a very business savvy young lady today. "She's very enterprising" i thought to myself... she had a mega watt smile and an enthusiastic pitch in her voice and it was just the cherry on the cake that as young as she was she was holding her own with a thriving business. "Hanging out with HARRIS" this month is about managing your business as a young person with the right amount of exurberance and a good measure of seasoned wisdom. Yessir! it's a good one!By the way, how was valentine's day?
BUSINESS for BEGINNERS
It’s a Great day!
It’s the month of February, the love month. With the months ticking away, and the rest pregnant with immense possibilities, I thought it would be nice to share certain tips to guarantee your business success in 2009.
As young people, we’re prone to adrenaline rushes of great ideas, “instant millionaire schemes”…certain to make us the “next BIG thing”, but after a while, the flame flickers, dies or if we’re lucky, we carry on as planned, only to incur massive debt, regret and lots of “had I knowns”.
So what must you do to hit your ultimate business goal in ’08? Well, I’m glad you asked.
There are 3 basic rules of business success:
Dream BIG:
You are the only limit to your imagination. Ask yourself, “What would I achieve if I could NOT fail” and then write it down. Visualize your dream, because you cannot feature in a future that you do not picture! What do you see? Look at your feet, what do you notice? They are pointed in the direction of your vision. That means, as long as your eyes can see it, your feet will take you there! So dream BIG.
As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, his feet walked on water’ but as soon as he “considered (meditated on) the waves, he took his eyes off his picture (Jesus) and put his eyes on the water, what happened? He began to sink. What are your eyes focused on?
START small:
As lofty and impressive as the oak tree is, it didn’t just appear as a full grown tree, it began as a seed. Every great dream or business began as a seed. Take time out to count the cost. Ask yourself, “what is my business?”, “who are my customers?”, “how much do they earn?”, “where are they located?”, “I am the solution, what is their problem?” etc. Answer those questions.
Next, you’ve got to find a mentor who is the best in the field you wish to flourish in and SERVE him. Humble yourself to learn from the best.
When I decided to become one of the world’s most sought after speakers and management consultants, I went to serve (for free, I might add), a man whom I recognized as the leader in both fields, Fela Durotoye. 3 years on, I’m still serving (getting paid…very well, I might add) and my present’s brighter than I ever imagined. Because he is a picture of my future, and I’m privileged to stand on the shoulders of a giant, guess what happens?… I stand tall.
These days, I get the privilege to speak on behalf of and with Fela Durotoye at some incredible events, why? Because he’s trained me and trusts that I would deliver just as he would.
Too many young people want to be their own boss, but think that serving someone is a waste of time. Experience is NOT the best teacher; other people’s experience is the best teacher!Don’t argue, start small, get a mentor.
To be the best, you gotta learn from the best.
Grow FAST:
Once you’ve learned the secrets and tools of the trade, you’ve gotta grow fast. To do this, there are 4 principles:
• Make more money:
people don’t buy products, they buy solutions!
• Save more money:
you’ve got to make it easy for your customers to get value for the solutions you provide.
• Grow your market share:
increase the reach and range of your business.
• Grow your brand:
you’ve gotta be known as a solution to ONE thing. e.g. Basketball (Jordan), Golf (Tiger Woods), Free Kicks (Beckham), Computers (Bill Gates)
Question is, what ONE thing will you be known for? Find it and master it!
I’m certain that as you apply these principles, you will have a fiscally fulfilling, 2009.
What are you waiting for?
Your future starts NOW!
SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group of Visible Impact Limited; a highly sought after motivational / inspirational, business speaker and strategist.
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng
BUSINESS for BEGINNERS
It’s a Great day!
It’s the month of February, the love month. With the months ticking away, and the rest pregnant with immense possibilities, I thought it would be nice to share certain tips to guarantee your business success in 2009.
As young people, we’re prone to adrenaline rushes of great ideas, “instant millionaire schemes”…certain to make us the “next BIG thing”, but after a while, the flame flickers, dies or if we’re lucky, we carry on as planned, only to incur massive debt, regret and lots of “had I knowns”.
So what must you do to hit your ultimate business goal in ’08? Well, I’m glad you asked.
There are 3 basic rules of business success:
Dream BIG:
You are the only limit to your imagination. Ask yourself, “What would I achieve if I could NOT fail” and then write it down. Visualize your dream, because you cannot feature in a future that you do not picture! What do you see? Look at your feet, what do you notice? They are pointed in the direction of your vision. That means, as long as your eyes can see it, your feet will take you there! So dream BIG.
As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, his feet walked on water’ but as soon as he “considered (meditated on) the waves, he took his eyes off his picture (Jesus) and put his eyes on the water, what happened? He began to sink. What are your eyes focused on?
START small:
As lofty and impressive as the oak tree is, it didn’t just appear as a full grown tree, it began as a seed. Every great dream or business began as a seed. Take time out to count the cost. Ask yourself, “what is my business?”, “who are my customers?”, “how much do they earn?”, “where are they located?”, “I am the solution, what is their problem?” etc. Answer those questions.
Next, you’ve got to find a mentor who is the best in the field you wish to flourish in and SERVE him. Humble yourself to learn from the best.
When I decided to become one of the world’s most sought after speakers and management consultants, I went to serve (for free, I might add), a man whom I recognized as the leader in both fields, Fela Durotoye. 3 years on, I’m still serving (getting paid…very well, I might add) and my present’s brighter than I ever imagined. Because he is a picture of my future, and I’m privileged to stand on the shoulders of a giant, guess what happens?… I stand tall.
These days, I get the privilege to speak on behalf of and with Fela Durotoye at some incredible events, why? Because he’s trained me and trusts that I would deliver just as he would.
Too many young people want to be their own boss, but think that serving someone is a waste of time. Experience is NOT the best teacher; other people’s experience is the best teacher!Don’t argue, start small, get a mentor.
To be the best, you gotta learn from the best.
Grow FAST:
Once you’ve learned the secrets and tools of the trade, you’ve gotta grow fast. To do this, there are 4 principles:
• Make more money:
people don’t buy products, they buy solutions!
• Save more money:
you’ve got to make it easy for your customers to get value for the solutions you provide.
• Grow your market share:
increase the reach and range of your business.
• Grow your brand:
you’ve gotta be known as a solution to ONE thing. e.g. Basketball (Jordan), Golf (Tiger Woods), Free Kicks (Beckham), Computers (Bill Gates)
Question is, what ONE thing will you be known for? Find it and master it!
I’m certain that as you apply these principles, you will have a fiscally fulfilling, 2009.
What are you waiting for?
Your future starts NOW!
SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group of Visible Impact Limited; a highly sought after motivational / inspirational, business speaker and strategist.
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng
February 11, 2009
and I felt a hole in my soul...aaghhh it was scarry!
At the beginning of this year something weird happened. I would wake up in the morning just feeling empty. Let me explain. I would feel like there was a hole right inside me. It was the first feeling of awareness that would hit me when i stirred awake. It was scarry but it was there. Something felt missing . It was so bad that after work i dreaded the idea of coming home where the volume of activity would be turned down and without the noise i would be forced to face the “hollowness”! It was not normal and i hoped it would go away. What worried me the most was that hollow spaces have the capacity to attract whatever would fill them and i was unsettled by the thought that this void would find a way to fill itself with something whether it was of my own choosing or not.
The first time i wrote about it was in the omonaikee diaries. My entry on the 7th of January in my journal sounded melancholy where i said;
” Yesterday on my way up the stairs i remembered i was going back to that feeling and suddenly didn’t want to stay at home. This has got to stop... i dont know what it is... i dont like how i feel”.
It was only a week ago i realised what my experience meant and i’ve shared it with a small group of fifteen people since then. Because i’ve told already i feel a little less burdened by it’s message but i’m making the effort to muster the words to retell it here; salvaging every emotion i experienced then from the depths of memory. I have never felt such intense emptiness before! I realise now that God let me feel for a minute in time the void inside me that he fills. The prelude to this account is that i had been studying my bible and while being an act of obedience i wasn’t doing it consistently. In Rick warren’s the purpose driven life he talks about complete and exact obedience. He says “often we try to offer God partial obedience” and God was teaching me that, that cheap way and cheat way of obeying him would not fly anymore.
I had also been praying everyday but not commitedly. Some days it would be a two minute mumble just before i stepped out of the door in which case i’d be one foot outside before some fearful thought would make me scoop my legs off the hallway and retrace them hurriedly into my room to bribe God with a minute of my attention in exchange for a safe and sane day( God de suffer o!). Other days i would pray with a wandering mind and my prayers would trail off into my agenda and plans for the day.Then there would come the ‘fired up on the mountain” days when i would pray till my heart’s peace. My spirit man must have been constipated! Those are not the kind of prayer and bible study habits that would make God entrust you with anything let alone his presence and he stepped back for a whole month and let me feel what he fills. I dont ever want to feel like that again! EVER!
He let me feel first hand the effect of my inconsistent fellowship with him. I felt like He was saying: “Nike your inconsistent bible study wont cut it anymore, your shoddy 5 minute prayers i won”t take anymore. If you want me in your life then step up ”. He may be saying the same thing to you.
“Take more responsibility son, step up, come hither!”
My altar lacked order. I didn’t have a compass to direct my bible reading and for someone who was reading four chapters of the bible a day at age 8 , i should know you need a study plan to help you master inconsistency. I’m going to share some tips from my discipleship training school classes on bible study, they were a checklist for me to work my way back into the seeking most and seeking first the kingdom.
1.Ask God in prayer to open your eyes to see in your bible practical things that make sense to you.
2.Get a bible you understand or like.
Suggestions : The best bible version to choose is the one you understand. The New living version adds simplicity to every verse, it’s like reading your friends journal; The Goodnews version is down to earth; The Amplified version is like reading prose or poetry, it’s lyrical and you pause to marvel at the “phraseology”; The message bible is like being in a radical, charismatic ,christian youth camp. In the pages you can almost see a crazy youth pastor reading it to you with his tinted corn rows and his jeans and Ts probably sporting a crazy slogan like God rocks, if you dont think so you suck!!!.LOL. I just got one and it’s a good reference bible.
3. Find the right tme and place and keep a date every morning.
4. Have a plan. A bible reading plan helps. A daily devotional can do a lot to keep you from wandering aimlessly through a blur of chapters. A prayer plan helps too. A good heuristic is thank him –praise him- ask him- thank him again.
5.Expect to hear from God and keep pen and paper ready to put down the valuable insights He shows you.
6. Do and tell. Do what the bible says and tell somebody else about what God is doing in your life.
Now back to the story. A few days ago, again from the pages of my journal , i wrote :
” this morning i woke up with a desire to do my devotions on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get down to it! Just the awareness of that special feeling was a delight to my soul...”
Once again like i recorded in “memoirs of a different kind” (in my post titled: ”who let the girls out” posted on the 17th of december here), I feel restored back into God’s favour and tended by His approval. I pray for everyone reading this who walks around feeling “hollow” . Pick up from where you left off, commit to a time and keep it. Fashion a bible study plan and work it. Nothing may happen at first but keep at it and that very act of faith will create, enlarge and expand room in your heart for God to live in and room in your mind for his word to fill. When you give him room in your time you’re giving him room in your life.
PS
I usually don’t like sounding spiritual, it’s a social risk i tell ya!Plus i would usually run from them preachy types hmmmmnnn, Hope you endured it though! Mwah!
The first time i wrote about it was in the omonaikee diaries. My entry on the 7th of January in my journal sounded melancholy where i said;
” Yesterday on my way up the stairs i remembered i was going back to that feeling and suddenly didn’t want to stay at home. This has got to stop... i dont know what it is... i dont like how i feel”.
It was only a week ago i realised what my experience meant and i’ve shared it with a small group of fifteen people since then. Because i’ve told already i feel a little less burdened by it’s message but i’m making the effort to muster the words to retell it here; salvaging every emotion i experienced then from the depths of memory. I have never felt such intense emptiness before! I realise now that God let me feel for a minute in time the void inside me that he fills. The prelude to this account is that i had been studying my bible and while being an act of obedience i wasn’t doing it consistently. In Rick warren’s the purpose driven life he talks about complete and exact obedience. He says “often we try to offer God partial obedience” and God was teaching me that, that cheap way and cheat way of obeying him would not fly anymore.
I had also been praying everyday but not commitedly. Some days it would be a two minute mumble just before i stepped out of the door in which case i’d be one foot outside before some fearful thought would make me scoop my legs off the hallway and retrace them hurriedly into my room to bribe God with a minute of my attention in exchange for a safe and sane day( God de suffer o!). Other days i would pray with a wandering mind and my prayers would trail off into my agenda and plans for the day.Then there would come the ‘fired up on the mountain” days when i would pray till my heart’s peace. My spirit man must have been constipated! Those are not the kind of prayer and bible study habits that would make God entrust you with anything let alone his presence and he stepped back for a whole month and let me feel what he fills. I dont ever want to feel like that again! EVER!
He let me feel first hand the effect of my inconsistent fellowship with him. I felt like He was saying: “Nike your inconsistent bible study wont cut it anymore, your shoddy 5 minute prayers i won”t take anymore. If you want me in your life then step up ”. He may be saying the same thing to you.
“Take more responsibility son, step up, come hither!”
My altar lacked order. I didn’t have a compass to direct my bible reading and for someone who was reading four chapters of the bible a day at age 8 , i should know you need a study plan to help you master inconsistency. I’m going to share some tips from my discipleship training school classes on bible study, they were a checklist for me to work my way back into the seeking most and seeking first the kingdom.
1.Ask God in prayer to open your eyes to see in your bible practical things that make sense to you.
2.Get a bible you understand or like.
Suggestions : The best bible version to choose is the one you understand. The New living version adds simplicity to every verse, it’s like reading your friends journal; The Goodnews version is down to earth; The Amplified version is like reading prose or poetry, it’s lyrical and you pause to marvel at the “phraseology”; The message bible is like being in a radical, charismatic ,christian youth camp. In the pages you can almost see a crazy youth pastor reading it to you with his tinted corn rows and his jeans and Ts probably sporting a crazy slogan like God rocks, if you dont think so you suck!!!.LOL. I just got one and it’s a good reference bible.
3. Find the right tme and place and keep a date every morning.
4. Have a plan. A bible reading plan helps. A daily devotional can do a lot to keep you from wandering aimlessly through a blur of chapters. A prayer plan helps too. A good heuristic is thank him –praise him- ask him- thank him again.
5.Expect to hear from God and keep pen and paper ready to put down the valuable insights He shows you.
6. Do and tell. Do what the bible says and tell somebody else about what God is doing in your life.
Now back to the story. A few days ago, again from the pages of my journal , i wrote :
” this morning i woke up with a desire to do my devotions on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get down to it! Just the awareness of that special feeling was a delight to my soul...”
Once again like i recorded in “memoirs of a different kind” (in my post titled: ”who let the girls out” posted on the 17th of december here), I feel restored back into God’s favour and tended by His approval. I pray for everyone reading this who walks around feeling “hollow” . Pick up from where you left off, commit to a time and keep it. Fashion a bible study plan and work it. Nothing may happen at first but keep at it and that very act of faith will create, enlarge and expand room in your heart for God to live in and room in your mind for his word to fill. When you give him room in your time you’re giving him room in your life.
PS
I usually don’t like sounding spiritual, it’s a social risk i tell ya!Plus i would usually run from them preachy types hmmmmnnn, Hope you endured it though! Mwah!
January 27, 2009
Picking a man is like shopping for a dress!
I always say picking a man is like buying an item of clothing. You walk into a store that has rows and rows of clothes in every size, style, fabric and colour. Each one sporting it’s own price tag. Each one creating a unique interaction with your feelings. Then there’s the shop assistant, armed and at the ready to sell you anything and everything your fluttering eyes repose on. But with years of shopping and of hearing remarks from your friends and foes, and with those indelible memories of previous wardrobe accidents , your practiced instincts remind you of your specs and you keep to form, buying only what fits your build,matches your emotional disposition and accentuates your gifts(hmmm!). At that point you’re a buyer who knows what you want. You just go for it when you see it.You know what fits you.
It’s the same science really whether you’re shopping for a man or a cute number. No offense guys but that’s the way i see it. I just hope y’all will indulge me while i explore the thought. There’s always a dress in the shop that is meant for you. That one that you think to yourself after you’ve snagged it: “what a find!".It looks right, fits right and feeeeels right!
I actually related the same analogy to one of my platonic boyfriends . Boy, it sparked good conversation! We had been trading stories and the conversation steered itself to shirts, well in his case, dresses and other prospecting merchandise( now i’m about to get into trouble). The question was; if you know your shirt and he (sorry it) doesn’t notice you, would you go for it? You know what i said? I said why not? (OMG girl, that was said like a big spender!). Now I know what they say about finding and being found and i totally agree BUT i’m only saying if it gives a perfect fit, and it’s hanging idly and unclaimed in that store paying you none to minimal attention, then get into it’s space or at least ask the shop keeper about it! Hallelujah!
I know GF(girl friend) is going to kill me when she reads this but will someone let me tell it as it is?
“if it’s yours it will come to you” ,
that’s true but ain’t nothing wrong with helping it along! Can i get a witness! You might want to get your charm on, smile some and shine teeth!(Nike, you’re totally shameless!).Erhm, somebody stop me before i get into more trouble!
A word of caution. Slow and subtle wins the race here cos you don’t want the shirt to know prematurely ( might ruin the negotiation!).The first commandment is don’t get caught trying.The second commandment is don’t take another sistas shirt.(Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you?).
I should warn you too that there’s the kind of shirt to pass up on. Those stiff- necked and stuffy shirts, all starched up and aloof, so emotionally wound up tight that the coyest smile would fall flat in thin air before it got through! Lord help the sista who falls for that kind of shirt. Armed so it can’t be disarmed! Lordavmarcy!!! There’s also the slacked shirt. It’s the “slacker” brand of T-shirts. If you have a taste for them you probably always find yourself stuck between the friend zone and the promised land of romantic bliss. It’s a yo-yo relationship but that’s for another day.
One more thing. An experienced shopper goes for the best buy at the right price. Neither overrated and pricey nor undervalued and cheap! I always feel a lift after a day of shopping when i’m taking home the bounty knowing it was the best buy and i got it at the best price. I feel proud it's money well spent. Mmmhh just talking about it puts me in the mode for shopping (don’t ask what i’ll be shopping for!). Lastly, while an experienced shopper has a knack for picking the shirt that makes her look like a million dollars in it, it is an expert shopper who makes the shirt think she never had an eye on it in the first place!(Chuckles).
Don’t ask me if i’m talking from experience, I already feel like i confessed to a hideous crime on this post! Ah, the things i do for writing a good piece! Hope you enjoyed it.So long!
P.S
What would you do to get the attention of a dress or shirt who doesn’t know you exist?
It’s the same science really whether you’re shopping for a man or a cute number. No offense guys but that’s the way i see it. I just hope y’all will indulge me while i explore the thought. There’s always a dress in the shop that is meant for you. That one that you think to yourself after you’ve snagged it: “what a find!".It looks right, fits right and feeeeels right!
I actually related the same analogy to one of my platonic boyfriends . Boy, it sparked good conversation! We had been trading stories and the conversation steered itself to shirts, well in his case, dresses and other prospecting merchandise( now i’m about to get into trouble). The question was; if you know your shirt and he (sorry it) doesn’t notice you, would you go for it? You know what i said? I said why not? (OMG girl, that was said like a big spender!). Now I know what they say about finding and being found and i totally agree BUT i’m only saying if it gives a perfect fit, and it’s hanging idly and unclaimed in that store paying you none to minimal attention, then get into it’s space or at least ask the shop keeper about it! Hallelujah!
I know GF(girl friend) is going to kill me when she reads this but will someone let me tell it as it is?
“if it’s yours it will come to you” ,
that’s true but ain’t nothing wrong with helping it along! Can i get a witness! You might want to get your charm on, smile some and shine teeth!(Nike, you’re totally shameless!).Erhm, somebody stop me before i get into more trouble!
A word of caution. Slow and subtle wins the race here cos you don’t want the shirt to know prematurely ( might ruin the negotiation!).The first commandment is don’t get caught trying.The second commandment is don’t take another sistas shirt.(Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you?).
I should warn you too that there’s the kind of shirt to pass up on. Those stiff- necked and stuffy shirts, all starched up and aloof, so emotionally wound up tight that the coyest smile would fall flat in thin air before it got through! Lord help the sista who falls for that kind of shirt. Armed so it can’t be disarmed! Lordavmarcy!!! There’s also the slacked shirt. It’s the “slacker” brand of T-shirts. If you have a taste for them you probably always find yourself stuck between the friend zone and the promised land of romantic bliss. It’s a yo-yo relationship but that’s for another day.
One more thing. An experienced shopper goes for the best buy at the right price. Neither overrated and pricey nor undervalued and cheap! I always feel a lift after a day of shopping when i’m taking home the bounty knowing it was the best buy and i got it at the best price. I feel proud it's money well spent. Mmmhh just talking about it puts me in the mode for shopping (don’t ask what i’ll be shopping for!). Lastly, while an experienced shopper has a knack for picking the shirt that makes her look like a million dollars in it, it is an expert shopper who makes the shirt think she never had an eye on it in the first place!(Chuckles).
Don’t ask me if i’m talking from experience, I already feel like i confessed to a hideous crime on this post! Ah, the things i do for writing a good piece! Hope you enjoyed it.So long!
P.S
What would you do to get the attention of a dress or shirt who doesn’t know you exist?
January 03, 2009
2000&mine
We made it. It’s the year 2009 baby! Another year newly opened and we have all been ushered through it. A fertile year to sow with the promise that we will be fruitful! A fresh alotment of time! Another 365 days! Somebody say this to yourself: “Whatever i missed in 2000 and great will be mine in 2000 and mine”. Amen to that. Let it be so indeed!
This year i’ve made some commitments to God. I had such a blast experiencing him last year i want more, so i’m taking a step closer. I pray that God would place such a desire for His presence in your life this year that you’d marvel at yourself... you know how you used to turn a suspicious eye on those people who always seem to be God this and God that.. .well get ready, you just got biten by that bug! (LOL!)
Happy new year... then the shofar blew!
As the curtains of 2008 were drawing to a close, i searched in the layers of my heart trying to guage the faintest feelings, premonitions, impressions e.t.c. My radar didn’t catch any feelings of consequence about the year so i abandoned feeling my way through. Then i looked out for some kind of prompting in my spirit, some sixth- sense, in- your- gut feeling of what the year would be but the problem was there was no time. No room to focus, no quietude to retreat to and it was almost 2009! By the last day of the year and of my quest i’d given up on “trying” and was only hoping to steal some time to at least process and file away the themed and random thoughts piling in my mind and lay out all my hopes before God for 2009. I took solace in that. I was prepared.
Cross over night was going to be in church by habit. It had always been so would continue to be. Even when i caught wind of parties that promised to be too hot to miss, i dismissed them without much thought. At 10pm, i dragged my sleepy body to church still half surprised that i had actually gone to work on new year’s eve. Once there, the music and the expectant atmospere took over and i gyrated along. Very meaningful prayers were made for different groups of people and when the cordinator raised a prayer for the youths i stood in agreement under it’s covering. The rest of the night was spent in activities but everyone anticipated the final minutes that would birth the new year. At the opportune time, the leader came up to explain the special way in which the year would be welcomed into this world. She refferred to the time in Isreal when the Medianites oppressed Isreal and God won them a great victory with only 300 men blowing on ram horn trumpets called shofars. She said we were going to usher God’s presence into the year to the sound of the shofars. I took the ritual in with excitement that i was experiencing something both unique and new. So we enshrouded the year with God’s presence and escorted the first breaths of the newly born year with the blast of the shofars. At the last blast we let out a loud shout for God has given us victory in 2009. What a powerfully symbolic countdown it was?
New year resolutions
Are they still common practice? What are the most silly ones you’ve ever made? I stopped making them a long time ago, but i keep goals as benchmarks i want to achieve every year, one of them is updating this blog more frequently....well folks do have a fruitful year!
PS
January’s edition of “Hanging out with Harris” is coming soon. You don’t want to miss it! Stay logged on to this site!
We made it. It’s the year 2009 baby! Another year newly opened and we have all been ushered through it. A fertile year to sow with the promise that we will be fruitful! A fresh alotment of time! Another 365 days! Somebody say this to yourself: “Whatever i missed in 2000 and great will be mine in 2000 and mine”. Amen to that. Let it be so indeed!
This year i’ve made some commitments to God. I had such a blast experiencing him last year i want more, so i’m taking a step closer. I pray that God would place such a desire for His presence in your life this year that you’d marvel at yourself... you know how you used to turn a suspicious eye on those people who always seem to be God this and God that.. .well get ready, you just got biten by that bug! (LOL!)
Happy new year... then the shofar blew!
As the curtains of 2008 were drawing to a close, i searched in the layers of my heart trying to guage the faintest feelings, premonitions, impressions e.t.c. My radar didn’t catch any feelings of consequence about the year so i abandoned feeling my way through. Then i looked out for some kind of prompting in my spirit, some sixth- sense, in- your- gut feeling of what the year would be but the problem was there was no time. No room to focus, no quietude to retreat to and it was almost 2009! By the last day of the year and of my quest i’d given up on “trying” and was only hoping to steal some time to at least process and file away the themed and random thoughts piling in my mind and lay out all my hopes before God for 2009. I took solace in that. I was prepared.
Cross over night was going to be in church by habit. It had always been so would continue to be. Even when i caught wind of parties that promised to be too hot to miss, i dismissed them without much thought. At 10pm, i dragged my sleepy body to church still half surprised that i had actually gone to work on new year’s eve. Once there, the music and the expectant atmospere took over and i gyrated along. Very meaningful prayers were made for different groups of people and when the cordinator raised a prayer for the youths i stood in agreement under it’s covering. The rest of the night was spent in activities but everyone anticipated the final minutes that would birth the new year. At the opportune time, the leader came up to explain the special way in which the year would be welcomed into this world. She refferred to the time in Isreal when the Medianites oppressed Isreal and God won them a great victory with only 300 men blowing on ram horn trumpets called shofars. She said we were going to usher God’s presence into the year to the sound of the shofars. I took the ritual in with excitement that i was experiencing something both unique and new. So we enshrouded the year with God’s presence and escorted the first breaths of the newly born year with the blast of the shofars. At the last blast we let out a loud shout for God has given us victory in 2009. What a powerfully symbolic countdown it was?
New year resolutions
Are they still common practice? What are the most silly ones you’ve ever made? I stopped making them a long time ago, but i keep goals as benchmarks i want to achieve every year, one of them is updating this blog more frequently....well folks do have a fruitful year!
PS
January’s edition of “Hanging out with Harris” is coming soon. You don’t want to miss it! Stay logged on to this site!
December 18, 2008
Who let the girls out?
Monday was quite a reunion with two of my girlfriends. We hadn’t been a complete trio like that in a long, long time. It was an unexpected stroke of goodluck that brought us together in one city at the same time and as we giggled and cackled all over each other, we knew we were going to make the most of it before we had to pack our bags and split again. So we sat down to catch up and it was like reliving together the experiences we had while apart. By the end of the day, we had satisfied some girl- deep psychological/ emotional need to rejuvenate our bond which distance had strained and reassure the doubts that absence tends to create. What did we talk about ? Boys mostly. Who we’d met for love, who we’d met for friendship and who we shouldn’t have met at all (not you silly!). Everyone took turns being grilled on the hot seat . Occasionally someone would assume the role of mother hen, disapproving of a confessed tryst till the culprit yelled desperate for understanding “let me tell it as it is!” then we would laugh and back off as explanations tumbled out. We moved on to important matters: scrutinizing each others make- up bags! What was good, what was new and who had stepped up their game. We didn’t miss the changes we saw in each other either.Who got rounder and where? Guys, you’ve got to laugh at the things girls are wired to enjoy! You just might be thoroughly amused or completely embarrassed in their company.You never know what would come flying out their mouths, past your unsuspecting ears! Heaven deliver us!!!
MEMOIRS...of a different kind
The year is coming to a fulfilling end and as i look back i’m excited to see how far i’ve come.God let me leap and bound over many hurdles with ease. Before the year began i had passionately declared that in 2008, the bible would influence me more than anything else. I also acquired an amplified version of it to add to my collection of bibles(I love the shades of meaning it adds to everything) . Surprisingly, this year i had a number of both significant and outstanding experiences that made me happy i made that decision. Let me explain...
I was constantly and consistently pondering over the meaning of large portions of scripture i selected from the bible. I would read a complete thought and hold it in my mind long enough to explore every angle of sense it made to me before moving on to the next line. During that period i was doing this i noticed somethings. I have this phobia for very loud sounds like thunder or the drowning noise of a plane flying really low and i would be gripped with fear however momentarily when this occurred. During this period i noticed that i stopped responding to the panic that would normally grip me and when i heard loud noises i didn’t even remember to associate them to danger.I was immune and there wasn’t the slightest trace of anxiety in me at all. The second experience had to do with anger. If you’ve ever been really mad at someone then you’d realise its very difficult to be angry and sin not. Sin in this case might mean berating the other person or being very spiteful and mean because you feel anger. I was in a situation once were i was very angry at something a loved one did which i needed to confront. The other person got very defensive and soon i felt angrier trying to make my point but inside there was an inner restraint that kept a guard on my lips and the rising anger didn’t control the words i chose or the situation. As soon as it was over i was able to flow back into a pleasant and sweet disposition as if nothing had happened. No anger left over! The last experience i will share was one in which at that period in time it was as if God had my back completely; things just worked out. In one instance i was in an uncomfortable position and i just wished to myself that such and such would happen and just as it occurred to me to pray to God that he would make it happen, it just happened. Even before the words could escape out of my lips. These are memoirs of a different kind indeed but i feel God made me experience them to authenticate the power in his word to me. Has it happened to you?Do tell.
I wish you a CHERRY christmas and a HEARTY new year!
The excitement of christmas is contagious. Everything about the season tells you to be of good cheer. From the break from work to the christmas bonus and then the bold reds , greens and golds attacking you on every corner ; there’s something to be cheerful about this season. I feel christmas crowns the year. Once the celebrating and felicitating grudgingly comes to an end, the realisation that another year has come sets in and every one faces the approaching year with more serious thoughts and some firm decision making. I always prefer to be deliberate about entering into a new year. I like to be in a place spiritually where i’m sensitive to the things God impresses on my heart about the approaching year. So i prepare my heart to hear. Last year i did a three day fast over the last three days of 2007 and into the new year. In that mood/state of mind/ heart atitude i was attracted to a verse of scripture that set the tone for my life style this year.Truth is i did many things this year that were motivated out of an effort to be close to God and be on point with him and that wasn’t all me ! What i am going to do this year remains to be written, maybe next christmas but till then have a cherry christmas and a hearty new year!
MEMOIRS...of a different kind
The year is coming to a fulfilling end and as i look back i’m excited to see how far i’ve come.God let me leap and bound over many hurdles with ease. Before the year began i had passionately declared that in 2008, the bible would influence me more than anything else. I also acquired an amplified version of it to add to my collection of bibles(I love the shades of meaning it adds to everything) . Surprisingly, this year i had a number of both significant and outstanding experiences that made me happy i made that decision. Let me explain...
I was constantly and consistently pondering over the meaning of large portions of scripture i selected from the bible. I would read a complete thought and hold it in my mind long enough to explore every angle of sense it made to me before moving on to the next line. During that period i was doing this i noticed somethings. I have this phobia for very loud sounds like thunder or the drowning noise of a plane flying really low and i would be gripped with fear however momentarily when this occurred. During this period i noticed that i stopped responding to the panic that would normally grip me and when i heard loud noises i didn’t even remember to associate them to danger.I was immune and there wasn’t the slightest trace of anxiety in me at all. The second experience had to do with anger. If you’ve ever been really mad at someone then you’d realise its very difficult to be angry and sin not. Sin in this case might mean berating the other person or being very spiteful and mean because you feel anger. I was in a situation once were i was very angry at something a loved one did which i needed to confront. The other person got very defensive and soon i felt angrier trying to make my point but inside there was an inner restraint that kept a guard on my lips and the rising anger didn’t control the words i chose or the situation. As soon as it was over i was able to flow back into a pleasant and sweet disposition as if nothing had happened. No anger left over! The last experience i will share was one in which at that period in time it was as if God had my back completely; things just worked out. In one instance i was in an uncomfortable position and i just wished to myself that such and such would happen and just as it occurred to me to pray to God that he would make it happen, it just happened. Even before the words could escape out of my lips. These are memoirs of a different kind indeed but i feel God made me experience them to authenticate the power in his word to me. Has it happened to you?Do tell.
I wish you a CHERRY christmas and a HEARTY new year!
The excitement of christmas is contagious. Everything about the season tells you to be of good cheer. From the break from work to the christmas bonus and then the bold reds , greens and golds attacking you on every corner ; there’s something to be cheerful about this season. I feel christmas crowns the year. Once the celebrating and felicitating grudgingly comes to an end, the realisation that another year has come sets in and every one faces the approaching year with more serious thoughts and some firm decision making. I always prefer to be deliberate about entering into a new year. I like to be in a place spiritually where i’m sensitive to the things God impresses on my heart about the approaching year. So i prepare my heart to hear. Last year i did a three day fast over the last three days of 2007 and into the new year. In that mood/state of mind/ heart atitude i was attracted to a verse of scripture that set the tone for my life style this year.Truth is i did many things this year that were motivated out of an effort to be close to God and be on point with him and that wasn’t all me ! What i am going to do this year remains to be written, maybe next christmas but till then have a cherry christmas and a hearty new year!
November 26, 2008
Hanging out with HARRIS
I celebrate every young person demanding more of themselves than just what is required.Greatness really isn’t far from that! I read the story of an amazing 24 year old, young woman today. Uche Eze is the cyber celebrity behind the fashion and entertainment blog called bella naija. Her blog provides information on events and happenings in Nigeria for Nigerians, home and abroad. I admire the way she has created a very strong brand presence within the Nigerian internet community simply by chronicling about her interests. She is the undisputable queen of blogsville! Everyone can put pen to paper or give an opinion about anything but for Uche, passion brings it together and makes it more than just that. For this young and beautiful, fashion is more than something to see or have, it’s something to be part of! Literarily, something to write home about! That’s what Co-author Steve Harris talks about today in a very easy-to-read piece (bless his generous heart!). It's about finding your natural habitat. I totally loved it. Enjoy!
FINDING your Natural Habitat
It’s a great day!
Today, I’d like to share secrets to what I call “Finding Your Natural Habitat”.
Every creature created by God has a natural habitat where it functions to the best of its ability. Let me explain. Where’s a bird’s natural habitat? Of course, in the air! What about a fish’s natural habitat? In water, isn’t it?
Birds exhibit amazing abilities when they are in their element; air. Fish swim so gracefully when immersed in water. Have you ever seen a bird that died from too much flying? Or a fish that died from drowning because it swam too much? Of course not! So, the question is, “Where’s my natural habitat”?
I’m glad you asked.
You were designed to fulfil purpose. God sent you to earth to discover it and die fulfilling it! Anything outside that purpose becomes an abuse of purpose. You’ve heard it said that “when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable”. Look at the word abuse; what does it mean?Abuse is the compendium of two words. “ab” and “use”. “Ab” means abnormal and “use” of course, means to use. Therefore, to abuse means an “abnormal use”.
Are you using your gift abnormally?
I always say, “God’s greatest desire is for you to do for a FEE, what He created you to do for FREE”!Think about it. When we mention golf, what name comes to mind? Tiger Woods! Okay, what about free kicks? Beckham! Womens’ Tennis? Did I hear u say Venus or Serena Williams? Information Technology? Bill Gates! Inspirational/Motivational Speaking? Fela Durotoye, Steve Harris! Okay, so when I mention your name, what comes to mind?
I don’t mean to be rude, but if your name’s mentioned and nothing comes to mind, could it infer that your name is a code? A code is a group of undecipherable alphabets, symbols or numbers that you key into a system that sends you an error in return. Type this into your cellphone. #555*1*2*kmji12377839987*SEND. What does it give you? UNKNOWN APPLICATION!!! Therefore, if your name doesn’t come to mind for anything, do forgive me again, it’s an UNKNOWN APPLICATION! Now’s a good time to say God Forbid! Tiger Woods LOVES playing golf, it’s not a job to him, it’s fun! He gets paid to have fun! Jayjay Okocha has fun dribbling people and gets paid for it. You should see Fela and I do what we do, WE HAVE A BLAST speaking, it’s fun for us and we get paid huge sums!
Question is; what can you do for fun and still get paid for it?
Let me assist in curbing your dilemma. Would you r like to discover your natural habitat? Well, here are 22 questions that Fela Durotoye came up with, that I believe will help you. Here we go.
1. Am I happy with my results?
2. Would I like to grow doing what I do today?
3. Is what I am doing today using my natural talents and personality?
4. Would I like to be the best ever at what I am doing today?
5. What one thing do I need to do/ change that would make the greatest positive impact on my life?
6. Who is doing something closest to my dreams?
7. What would I like to be successful doing?
8. What area would I like to make a positive impact?
9. What would I like to be remembered for the most?
10. What mind blowing accomplishment would I like my name stamped on?
11. Michael Jordan - Basket ball, Tiger Woods – Golf, Bill Gates – Computers etc. What field would I like my name to define?
12. What do I do best with least effort?
13. What kind of assistance/ help do people ask me for most frequently?
14. In what area, do people show me the greatest regard/ respect/ accolade??
15. What can I do for fun and still earn money?
16. What frustrates me the most when it’s poorly done?
17. I usually lose track of time when I am…..?
18. I would like to win an award for excellence in….?
19. Which of all human needs touches my heart the most?
20. I am the solution, what is the problem?
21. Who has the problem? Describe as accurately as possible.
22. Which magazines/ discussions interest me the most?
Take some time out to honestly answer these questions and they will point you in the direction of your natural habitat. Let me know how you’re doing.
Till then,
BE GREAT. You can. You must. You will!
SteveHARRIS
SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group.
Visible Impact Limited
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng
November 14, 2008
SEWN OR HOME GROWN?
What’s up people? What’s cracking?! Sometimes i consider one of my girlfriends from way back my own version of Gayle King, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend. Lets call her GF. Now GF was going through my first post and when she read that i bet 7inches of my hair on Harris’s soon- to- be- published book, she looked at me with a quzzical look and said:
“Nike, your hair is not 7inches long! “
Now hold up people! My hair has got potential! It can go from 2 – 7 inches in the span of a week , just depends on which i’m buying! LOL! Matter of fact, it can also go from blonde to jet black too! Now i know people are going to say hair extensions are artificial but if i’m buying it, it’s mine. Right? So i beg to reiterate that i will gladly “ sacrifice ” 7inches of my darling Yake or Expression for Harris’s book! Period! Sewn oh? Grown oh?...it’s still mine! CAN I GET A WITNESS?!!!
I’m sitting on my legs folded beneath me, wondering which one of the experiences i’ve had this week to share. I have gone over the file tagged “my recent documents” in my mind’s memory and hastily decided to delete my last three thoughts on what to write. Boring! But hey, there’s this one that stands out. It was a very engaging conversation! If you’re not a MSW( Maturing Single Woman) just stay with me, there’s something in this for you too!
WHO IS THE IDEAL GUY?
Like i said it was an engaging subject! My friend was saying that everyone should usually have an idea of the type of person they want to be with. The question was: who is the ideal man? Now before you think of the three cardinal virtues of the M&B hero (TD&H – Tall, Dark and Handsome) or a well- fed wallet and its generous owner, pause to ponder on a piece of writing i stumbled on from a loving father to his young daughter about to be married:
“ You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: To respect, defer to ,revere him- to honour, esteem, appreciate , prize , and in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to , deeply love and enjoy your husband.”
Reading that, i had issues with some of the words like “reverence” and “revere". So i checked them out in the dictionary. The word “Reverence" for instance means to regard somebody with deep respect. My thoughts first settled (rather narrow- mindedly as i latter discovered) on why i would want to REVERE, DEFER TO, ESTEEM, REGARD WITH REVERENCE(??!!) some dude just like me! Then i quickly realised that the answer was in asking myself that very question! Eureka! My discovery was simple ladies and gentlemen; Whatever reasons would make you feel respect, reverence or regard for someone, that dude should exhibit! That was my light bulb moment!
So i went over all the words with the intensity of a magnifying glass:
· REVERENCE/RESPECT/ REGARD :The ideal guy should behave in such a way and do such things that command respect, things both impressive in themselves and in the manner with which they are done.
· DEFER TO: To defer to someone means to out of respect or courtesy (not fear or role play) submit to the judgement, opinion or wishes of another person.The ideal guy should be someone who has good judgement, whose wishes are for peace and welfare ,whose opinions are both wise and reasonable.
· APPRECIATE. I liked this one cos all i could dream of were the thoughtful and the simple gifts or the big and expensive! I’d sing “thank you ” on a pitching falsetto to the altar!( Ok Nike get serious!) Erhm! What i mean is the ideal guy will do things that will inspire feelings of appreciation.
Going over all the words one after the other, i started to ask myself with growing excitement: why wouldn’t i want to revere, defer to, respect, regard with reverence, praise, prize, venerate, notice, esteem, prefer and in the human sense, adore somebody who behaved himself in a manner that attracted respect, admiration, praise, attention, honour and so on?
So i ask you: who is the ideal guy? My dearest MSWs you have thirty minutes. DON’T log out. DON’T sign off. Think about those romantic verbs and exciting nouns and realise the qualities you are looking out for. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Good luck on this exercise.
And for all the MWLUs( Men Who Love Us), i know you have been reading with interest waiting to have your say, please make your comments too. I can’t ignore the fact that even on the best effort and the best behaivour of an ideal man as we have described him , a woman may not have all these feelings or show these virtues. But if you’re working at being the ideal man, it’s a good guide line. Imagine all the ladies who will willingly give up their front teeth in a cat fight over you if you were always doing things worthy of their respect or admiration!
Well i hope you’ve had just as much fun reading and commenting , as i have had staying up late writing. It’s 2am.My legs are stretched out in front of me now. (Yawn).Time to sleep...La er guys!
Shades of Meaning: Venerate: look up to , idolize, admire , adore. Revere: Be in awe of, hold in the highest regard. Regard: Look upon, consider, relate to, connect with, concern, involve, favour. Defer to: yield to, give way to, comply, agree to. Reverence: take your hat off to,pay tribute to.
What’s up people? What’s cracking?! Sometimes i consider one of my girlfriends from way back my own version of Gayle King, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend. Lets call her GF. Now GF was going through my first post and when she read that i bet 7inches of my hair on Harris’s soon- to- be- published book, she looked at me with a quzzical look and said:
“Nike, your hair is not 7inches long! “
Now hold up people! My hair has got potential! It can go from 2 – 7 inches in the span of a week , just depends on which i’m buying! LOL! Matter of fact, it can also go from blonde to jet black too! Now i know people are going to say hair extensions are artificial but if i’m buying it, it’s mine. Right? So i beg to reiterate that i will gladly “ sacrifice ” 7inches of my darling Yake or Expression for Harris’s book! Period! Sewn oh? Grown oh?...it’s still mine! CAN I GET A WITNESS?!!!
I’m sitting on my legs folded beneath me, wondering which one of the experiences i’ve had this week to share. I have gone over the file tagged “my recent documents” in my mind’s memory and hastily decided to delete my last three thoughts on what to write. Boring! But hey, there’s this one that stands out. It was a very engaging conversation! If you’re not a MSW( Maturing Single Woman) just stay with me, there’s something in this for you too!
WHO IS THE IDEAL GUY?
Like i said it was an engaging subject! My friend was saying that everyone should usually have an idea of the type of person they want to be with. The question was: who is the ideal man? Now before you think of the three cardinal virtues of the M&B hero (TD&H – Tall, Dark and Handsome) or a well- fed wallet and its generous owner, pause to ponder on a piece of writing i stumbled on from a loving father to his young daughter about to be married:
“ You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: To respect, defer to ,revere him- to honour, esteem, appreciate , prize , and in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to , deeply love and enjoy your husband.”
Reading that, i had issues with some of the words like “reverence” and “revere". So i checked them out in the dictionary. The word “Reverence" for instance means to regard somebody with deep respect. My thoughts first settled (rather narrow- mindedly as i latter discovered) on why i would want to REVERE, DEFER TO, ESTEEM, REGARD WITH REVERENCE(??!!) some dude just like me! Then i quickly realised that the answer was in asking myself that very question! Eureka! My discovery was simple ladies and gentlemen; Whatever reasons would make you feel respect, reverence or regard for someone, that dude should exhibit! That was my light bulb moment!
So i went over all the words with the intensity of a magnifying glass:
· REVERENCE/RESPECT/ REGARD :The ideal guy should behave in such a way and do such things that command respect, things both impressive in themselves and in the manner with which they are done.
· DEFER TO: To defer to someone means to out of respect or courtesy (not fear or role play) submit to the judgement, opinion or wishes of another person.The ideal guy should be someone who has good judgement, whose wishes are for peace and welfare ,whose opinions are both wise and reasonable.
· APPRECIATE. I liked this one cos all i could dream of were the thoughtful and the simple gifts or the big and expensive! I’d sing “thank you ” on a pitching falsetto to the altar!( Ok Nike get serious!) Erhm! What i mean is the ideal guy will do things that will inspire feelings of appreciation.
Going over all the words one after the other, i started to ask myself with growing excitement: why wouldn’t i want to revere, defer to, respect, regard with reverence, praise, prize, venerate, notice, esteem, prefer and in the human sense, adore somebody who behaved himself in a manner that attracted respect, admiration, praise, attention, honour and so on?
So i ask you: who is the ideal guy? My dearest MSWs you have thirty minutes. DON’T log out. DON’T sign off. Think about those romantic verbs and exciting nouns and realise the qualities you are looking out for. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Good luck on this exercise.
And for all the MWLUs( Men Who Love Us), i know you have been reading with interest waiting to have your say, please make your comments too. I can’t ignore the fact that even on the best effort and the best behaivour of an ideal man as we have described him , a woman may not have all these feelings or show these virtues. But if you’re working at being the ideal man, it’s a good guide line. Imagine all the ladies who will willingly give up their front teeth in a cat fight over you if you were always doing things worthy of their respect or admiration!
Well i hope you’ve had just as much fun reading and commenting , as i have had staying up late writing. It’s 2am.My legs are stretched out in front of me now. (Yawn).Time to sleep...La er guys!
Shades of Meaning: Venerate: look up to , idolize, admire , adore. Revere: Be in awe of, hold in the highest regard. Regard: Look upon, consider, relate to, connect with, concern, involve, favour. Defer to: yield to, give way to, comply, agree to. Reverence: take your hat off to,pay tribute to.
November 01, 2008
BREAKING THE ICE
Hola! I’ve been planning this blog for a while now and i’m excited it’s come to life! I love to write and i can always be caught either writing in a jotter, scribbling on a piece of paper or penning my thoughts in my journal. This year i decided to share my writing with a larger audience so i started contributing to a great Nigerian magazine called 234 Magazine (http://www.the234mag.com/). That was 10 months ago. I was introduced to a world of deadlines and learnt to write for a target audience under a specific theme .I also had to re-invent myself and developed a different type of writing “voice” from my usual narrative style which i use in private journals (i will refer to them as the omonaikee dairies on this blog and i should tell you that i always yell an emphatic “NO!” when someone asks to read them). Anyway, back to the story; My column called motivating the young takes off and i’m thinking “this is a lot of fun!”. So with my newly found confidence as a “public writer” , i’ve decided to add another few hundred words to my capacity to reach more people with this blog.
But i must confess, it is not only the love of writing or the consequent desire to master it that makes me touch finger tip to key pad. As my fingers chase themselves all over my QWERTY keyboard, i recognise that i am also nurturing the ambitious goal of making a positive impact on YOU, dear reader and all the potential visitors to this blog. I do not entirely know how i am going to do this yet, but i have set this “noble” goal for myself that YOU will benefit from giving me your time. I also don’t have all of the content completely figured out too but every fortnight i will share with you something interesting.informative.motivational and more (i know you want to know what “more” is ........shhhhh still working on it!). So I’d like you( if you will be so kind...) to get conversational and holler back with your thoughts and we’ll take it up from there.
Places in the HEART
Let me introduce a very interesting phrase i coined out of my bible and book study almost a year ago. I can’t remember now what book i was reading but these phrases just started to let themselves into my train of thought.”Places in the heart” refer (wait for it...) to the atitude of our heart towards God and towards people. Our hearts are full of atitudes. How we relate or respond to other people depends on the atitude of our hearts toward them.It is these atitudes that also decide how opened up or how closed up we are to the things God says or prompts. Heart atitude is hidden. We might not even notice it while its forming, until it gives birth to a tangible action that betrays the real state of our inside. I want to keep my heart atitude tender towards God.I want to be tender- hearted and yielding, easily influenced to reason with God not against or away from God. So i have created a space at the bottom of each post called “places in the heart”. It will influence your heart and affect your heart atitudes towards God and people.
HangingOUT withHARRIS
I first saw and met my buddy Steve Harris at a training facilitated by Visible Impact consulting. Harris works with Uncle Fela .(Fela Durotoye is the CEO of Visible Impact but even more impressive is the fact that he is a courteous, kindhearted, warm and genuine person with a distinctive humane quality about him). Harris is very passionate about what he does which is training and strategizing for service providers in different industries to help them create a world- class edge in their organizations. That’s just neat! He’s a great guy and he said to me while we were talking one day; ” You will not get rich on your salary”. I wrote it down and we kept talking and then he dropped another nugget : ” God’s greatest desire for you is to earn a fee doing something he created you to do for free!”. I also wrote that down, this time i wrote his name under the quote and decided that hanging with Harris was a valuable learning experience! So you are also going to be hanging out with him on this blog. In addition to his work as a business consultant and motivational speaker, he is presently working on his book and i can bet 7 inches of my hard-earned long hair that it will be a best selling success! So enjoy “hanging out with Harris” and enjoy my blog!!!
Hola! I’ve been planning this blog for a while now and i’m excited it’s come to life! I love to write and i can always be caught either writing in a jotter, scribbling on a piece of paper or penning my thoughts in my journal. This year i decided to share my writing with a larger audience so i started contributing to a great Nigerian magazine called 234 Magazine (http://www.the234mag.com/). That was 10 months ago. I was introduced to a world of deadlines and learnt to write for a target audience under a specific theme .I also had to re-invent myself and developed a different type of writing “voice” from my usual narrative style which i use in private journals (i will refer to them as the omonaikee dairies on this blog and i should tell you that i always yell an emphatic “NO!” when someone asks to read them). Anyway, back to the story; My column called motivating the young takes off and i’m thinking “this is a lot of fun!”. So with my newly found confidence as a “public writer” , i’ve decided to add another few hundred words to my capacity to reach more people with this blog.
But i must confess, it is not only the love of writing or the consequent desire to master it that makes me touch finger tip to key pad. As my fingers chase themselves all over my QWERTY keyboard, i recognise that i am also nurturing the ambitious goal of making a positive impact on YOU, dear reader and all the potential visitors to this blog. I do not entirely know how i am going to do this yet, but i have set this “noble” goal for myself that YOU will benefit from giving me your time. I also don’t have all of the content completely figured out too but every fortnight i will share with you something interesting.informative.motivational and more (i know you want to know what “more” is ........shhhhh still working on it!). So I’d like you( if you will be so kind...) to get conversational and holler back with your thoughts and we’ll take it up from there.
Places in the HEART
Let me introduce a very interesting phrase i coined out of my bible and book study almost a year ago. I can’t remember now what book i was reading but these phrases just started to let themselves into my train of thought.”Places in the heart” refer (wait for it...) to the atitude of our heart towards God and towards people. Our hearts are full of atitudes. How we relate or respond to other people depends on the atitude of our hearts toward them.It is these atitudes that also decide how opened up or how closed up we are to the things God says or prompts. Heart atitude is hidden. We might not even notice it while its forming, until it gives birth to a tangible action that betrays the real state of our inside. I want to keep my heart atitude tender towards God.I want to be tender- hearted and yielding, easily influenced to reason with God not against or away from God. So i have created a space at the bottom of each post called “places in the heart”. It will influence your heart and affect your heart atitudes towards God and people.
HangingOUT withHARRIS
I first saw and met my buddy Steve Harris at a training facilitated by Visible Impact consulting. Harris works with Uncle Fela .(Fela Durotoye is the CEO of Visible Impact but even more impressive is the fact that he is a courteous, kindhearted, warm and genuine person with a distinctive humane quality about him). Harris is very passionate about what he does which is training and strategizing for service providers in different industries to help them create a world- class edge in their organizations. That’s just neat! He’s a great guy and he said to me while we were talking one day; ” You will not get rich on your salary”. I wrote it down and we kept talking and then he dropped another nugget : ” God’s greatest desire for you is to earn a fee doing something he created you to do for free!”. I also wrote that down, this time i wrote his name under the quote and decided that hanging with Harris was a valuable learning experience! So you are also going to be hanging out with him on this blog. In addition to his work as a business consultant and motivational speaker, he is presently working on his book and i can bet 7 inches of my hard-earned long hair that it will be a best selling success! So enjoy “hanging out with Harris” and enjoy my blog!!!
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