Who let the girls out?

Monday was quite a reunion with two of my girlfriends. We hadn’t been a complete trio like that in a long, long time. It was an unexpected stroke of goodluck that brought us together in one city at the same time and as we giggled and cackled all over each other, we knew we were going to make the most of it before we had to pack our bags and split again. So we sat down to catch up and it was like reliving together the experiences we had while apart. By the end of the day, we had satisfied some girl- deep psychological/ emotional need to rejuvenate our bond which distance had strained and reassure the doubts that absence tends to create. What did we talk about ? Boys mostly. Who we’d met for love, who we’d met for friendship and who we shouldn’t have met at all (not you silly!). Everyone took turns being grilled on the hot seat . Occasionally someone would assume the role of mother hen, disapproving of a confessed tryst till the culprit yelled desperate for understanding “let me tell it as it is!” then we would laugh and back off as explanations tumbled out. We moved on to important matters: scrutinizing each others make- up bags! What was good, what was new and who had stepped up their game. We didn’t miss the changes we saw in each other either.Who got rounder and where? Guys, you’ve got to laugh at the things girls are wired to enjoy! You just might be thoroughly amused or completely embarrassed in their company.You never know what would come flying out their mouths, past your unsuspecting ears! Heaven deliver us!!!


MEMOIRS...of a different kind

The year is coming to a fulfilling end and as i look back i’m excited to see how far i’ve come.God let me leap and bound over many hurdles with ease. Before the year began i had passionately declared that in 2008, the bible would influence me more than anything else. I also acquired an amplified version of it to add to my collection of bibles(I love the shades of meaning it adds to everything) . Surprisingly, this year i had a number of both significant and outstanding experiences that made me happy i made that decision. Let me explain...


I was constantly and consistently pondering over the meaning of large portions of scripture i selected from the bible. I would read a complete thought and hold it in my mind long enough to explore every angle of sense it made to me before moving on to the next line. During that period i was doing this i noticed somethings. I have this phobia for very loud sounds like thunder or the drowning noise of a plane flying really low and i would be gripped with fear however momentarily when this occurred. During this period i noticed that i stopped responding to the panic that would normally grip me and when i heard loud noises i didn’t even remember to associate them to danger.I was immune and there wasn’t the slightest trace of anxiety in me at all. The second experience had to do with anger. If you’ve ever been really mad at someone then you’d realise its very difficult to be angry and sin not. Sin in this case might mean berating the other person or being very spiteful and mean because you feel anger. I was in a situation once were i was very angry at something a loved one did which i needed to confront. The other person got very defensive and soon i felt angrier trying to make my point but inside there was an inner restraint that kept a guard on my lips and the rising anger didn’t control the words i chose or the situation. As soon as it was over i was able to flow back into a pleasant and sweet disposition as if nothing had happened. No anger left over! The last experience i will share was one in which at that period in time it was as if God had my back completely; things just worked out. In one instance i was in an uncomfortable position and i just wished to myself that such and such would happen and just as it occurred to me to pray to God that he would make it happen, it just happened. Even before the words could escape out of my lips. These are memoirs of a different kind indeed but i feel God made me experience them to authenticate the power in his word to me. Has it happened to you?Do tell.


I wish you a CHERRY christmas and a HEARTY new year!

The excitement of christmas is contagious. Everything about the season tells you to be of good cheer. From the break from work to the christmas bonus and then the bold reds , greens and golds attacking you on every corner ; there’s something to be cheerful about this season. I feel christmas crowns the year. Once the celebrating and felicitating grudgingly comes to an end, the realisation that another year has come sets in and every one faces the approaching year with more serious thoughts and some firm decision making. I always prefer to be deliberate about entering into a new year. I like to be in a place spiritually where i’m sensitive to the things God impresses on my heart about the approaching year. So i prepare my heart to hear. Last year i did a three day fast over the last three days of 2007 and into the new year. In that mood/state of mind/ heart atitude i was attracted to a verse of scripture that set the tone for my life style this year.Truth is i did many things this year that were motivated out of an effort to be close to God and be on point with him and that wasn’t all me ! What i am going to do this year remains to be written, maybe next christmas but till then have a cherry christmas and a hearty new year!

Hanging out with HARRIS

I celebrate every young person demanding more of themselves than just what is required.Greatness really isn’t far from that! I read the story of an amazing 24 year old, young woman today. Uche Eze is the cyber celebrity behind the fashion and entertainment blog called bella naija. Her blog provides information on events and happenings in Nigeria for Nigerians, home and abroad. I admire the way she has created a very strong brand presence within the Nigerian internet community simply by chronicling about her interests. She is the undisputable queen of blogsville! Everyone can put pen to paper or give an opinion about anything but for Uche, passion brings it together and makes it more than just that. For this young and beautiful, fashion is more than something to see or have, it’s something to be part of! Literarily, something to write home about! That’s what Co-author Steve Harris talks about today in a very easy-to-read piece (bless his generous heart!). It's about finding your natural habitat. I totally loved it. Enjoy!


FINDING your Natural Habitat

It’s a great day!

Today, I’d like to share secrets to what I call “Finding Your Natural Habitat”.
Every creature created by God has a natural habitat where it functions to the best of its ability. Let me explain. Where’s a bird’s natural habitat? Of course, in the air! What about a fish’s natural habitat? In water, isn’t it?

Birds exhibit amazing abilities when they are in their element; air. Fish swim so gracefully when immersed in water. Have you ever seen a bird that died from too much flying? Or a fish that died from drowning because it swam too much? Of course not! So, the question is, “Where’s my natural habitat”?

I’m glad you asked.

You were designed to fulfil purpose. God sent you to earth to discover it and die fulfilling it! Anything outside that purpose becomes an abuse of purpose. You’ve heard it said that “when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable”. Look at the word abuse; what does it mean?Abuse is the compendium of two words. “ab” and “use”. “Ab” means abnormal and “use” of course, means to use. Therefore, to abuse means an “abnormal use”.

Are you using your gift abnormally?

I always say, “God’s greatest desire is for you to do for a FEE, what He created you to do for FREE”!Think about it. When we mention golf, what name comes to mind? Tiger Woods! Okay, what about free kicks? Beckham! Womens’ Tennis? Did I hear u say Venus or Serena Williams? Information Technology? Bill Gates! Inspirational/Motivational Speaking? Fela Durotoye, Steve Harris! Okay, so when I mention your name, what comes to mind?

I don’t mean to be rude, but if your name’s mentioned and nothing comes to mind, could it infer that your name is a code? A code is a group of undecipherable alphabets, symbols or numbers that you key into a system that sends you an error in return. Type this into your cellphone. #555*1*2*kmji12377839987*SEND. What does it give you? UNKNOWN APPLICATION!!! Therefore, if your name doesn’t come to mind for anything, do forgive me again, it’s an UNKNOWN APPLICATION! Now’s a good time to say God Forbid! Tiger Woods LOVES playing golf, it’s not a job to him, it’s fun! He gets paid to have fun! Jayjay Okocha has fun dribbling people and gets paid for it. You should see Fela and I do what we do, WE HAVE A BLAST speaking, it’s fun for us and we get paid huge sums!

Question is; what can you do for fun and still get paid for it?

Let me assist in curbing your dilemma. Would you r like to discover your natural habitat? Well, here are 22 questions that Fela Durotoye came up with, that I believe will help you. Here we go.

1. Am I happy with my results?
2. Would I like to grow doing what I do today?
3. Is what I am doing today using my natural talents and personality?
4. Would I like to be the best ever at what I am doing today?
5. What one thing do I need to do/ change that would make the greatest positive impact on my life?
6. Who is doing something closest to my dreams?
7. What would I like to be successful doing?
8. What area would I like to make a positive impact?
9. What would I like to be remembered for the most?
10. What mind blowing accomplishment would I like my name stamped on?
11. Michael Jordan - Basket ball, Tiger Woods – Golf, Bill Gates – Computers etc. What field would I like my name to define?
12. What do I do best with least effort?
13. What kind of assistance/ help do people ask me for most frequently?
14. In what area, do people show me the greatest regard/ respect/ accolade??
15. What can I do for fun and still earn money?
16. What frustrates me the most when it’s poorly done?
17. I usually lose track of time when I am…..?
18. I would like to win an award for excellence in….?
19. Which of all human needs touches my heart the most?
20. I am the solution, what is the problem?
21. Who has the problem? Describe as accurately as possible.
22. Which magazines/ discussions interest me the most?

Take some time out to honestly answer these questions and they will point you in the direction of your natural habitat. Let me know how you’re doing.

Till then,
BE GREAT. You can. You must. You will!
SteveHARRIS


SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group.
Visible Impact Limited
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng

SEWN OR HOME GROWN?

What’s up people? What’s cracking?! Sometimes i consider one of my girlfriends from way back my own version of Gayle King, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend. Lets call her GF. Now GF was going through my first post and when she read that i bet 7inches of my hair on Harris’s soon- to- be- published book, she looked at me with a quzzical look and said:

“Nike, your hair is not 7inches long! “

Now hold up people! My hair has got potential! It can go from 2 – 7 inches in the span of a week , just depends on which i’m buying! LOL! Matter of fact, it can also go from blonde to jet black too! Now i know people are going to say hair extensions are artificial but if i’m buying it, it’s mine. Right? So i beg to reiterate that i will gladly “ sacrifice ” 7inches of my darling Yake or Expression for Harris’s book! Period! Sewn oh? Grown oh?...it’s still mine! CAN I GET A WITNESS?!!!

I’m sitting on my legs folded beneath me, wondering which one of the experiences i’ve had this week to share. I have gone over the file tagged “my recent documents” in my mind’s memory and hastily decided to delete my last three thoughts on what to write. Boring! But hey, there’s this one that stands out. It was a very engaging conversation! If you’re not a MSW( Maturing Single Woman) just stay with me, there’s something in this for you too!

WHO IS THE IDEAL GUY?
Like i said it was an engaging subject! My friend was saying that everyone should usually have an idea of the type of person they want to be with. The question was: who is the ideal man? Now before you think of the three cardinal virtues of the M&B hero (TD&H – Tall, Dark and Handsome) or a well- fed wallet and its generous owner, pause to ponder on a piece of writing i stumbled on from a loving father to his young daughter about to be married:

“ You are to feel for him all that reverence includes: To respect, defer to ,revere him- to honour, esteem, appreciate , prize , and in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to , deeply love and enjoy your husband.”

Reading that, i had issues with some of the words like “reverence” and “revere". So i checked them out in the dictionary. The word “Reverence" for instance means to regard somebody with deep respect. My thoughts first settled (rather narrow- mindedly as i latter discovered) on why i would want to REVERE, DEFER TO, ESTEEM, REGARD WITH REVERENCE(??!!) some dude just like me! Then i quickly realised that the answer was in asking myself that very question! Eureka! My discovery was simple ladies and gentlemen; Whatever reasons would make you feel respect, reverence or regard for someone, that dude should exhibit! That was my light bulb moment!
So i went over all the words with the intensity of a magnifying glass:
· REVERENCE/RESPECT/ REGARD :The ideal guy should behave in such a way and do such things that command respect, things both impressive in themselves and in the manner with which they are done.
· DEFER TO: To defer to someone means to out of respect or courtesy (not fear or role play) submit to the judgement, opinion or wishes of another person.The ideal guy should be someone who has good judgement, whose wishes are for peace and welfare ,whose opinions are both wise and reasonable.
· APPRECIATE. I liked this one cos all i could dream of were the thoughtful and the simple gifts or the big and expensive! I’d sing “thank you ” on a pitching falsetto to the altar!( Ok Nike get serious!) Erhm! What i mean is the ideal guy will do things that will inspire feelings of appreciation.

Going over all the words one after the other, i started to ask myself with growing excitement: why wouldn’t i want to revere, defer to, respect, regard with reverence, praise, prize, venerate, notice, esteem, prefer and in the human sense, adore somebody who behaved himself in a manner that attracted respect, admiration, praise, attention, honour and so on?

So i ask you: who is the ideal guy? My dearest MSWs you have thirty minutes. DON’T log out. DON’T sign off. Think about those romantic verbs and exciting nouns and realise the qualities you are looking out for. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Good luck on this exercise.
And for all the MWLUs( Men Who Love Us), i know you have been reading with interest waiting to have your say, please make your comments too. I can’t ignore the fact that even on the best effort and the best behaivour of an ideal man as we have described him , a woman may not have all these feelings or show these virtues. But if you’re working at being the ideal man, it’s a good guide line. Imagine all the ladies who will willingly give up their front teeth in a cat fight over you if you were always doing things worthy of their respect or admiration!

Well i hope you’ve had just as much fun reading and commenting , as i have had staying up late writing. It’s 2am.My legs are stretched out in front of me now. (Yawn).Time to sleep...La er guys!


Shades of Meaning: Venerate: look up to , idolize, admire , adore. Revere: Be in awe of, hold in the highest regard. Regard: Look upon, consider, relate to, connect with, concern, involve, favour. Defer to: yield to, give way to, comply, agree to. Reverence: take your hat off to,pay tribute to.

BREAKING THE ICE

Hola! I’ve been planning this blog for a while now and i’m excited it’s come to life! I love to write and i can always be caught either writing in a jotter, scribbling on a piece of paper or penning my thoughts in my journal. This year i decided to share my writing with a larger audience so i started contributing to a great Nigerian magazine called 234 Magazine (http://www.the234mag.com/). That was 10 months ago. I was introduced to a world of deadlines and learnt to write for a target audience under a specific theme .I also had to re-invent myself and developed a different type of writing “voice” from my usual narrative style which i use in private journals (i will refer to them as the omonaikee dairies on this blog and i should tell you that i always yell an emphatic “NO!” when someone asks to read them). Anyway, back to the story; My column called motivating the young takes off and i’m thinking “this is a lot of fun!”. So with my newly found confidence as a “public writer” , i’ve decided to add another few hundred words to my capacity to reach more people with this blog.

But i must confess, it is not only the love of writing or the consequent desire to master it that makes me touch finger tip to key pad. As my fingers chase themselves all over my QWERTY keyboard, i recognise that i am also nurturing the ambitious goal of making a positive impact on YOU, dear reader and all the potential visitors to this blog. I do not entirely know how i am going to do this yet, but i have set this “noble” goal for myself that YOU will benefit from giving me your time. I also don’t have all of the content completely figured out too but every fortnight i will share with you something interesting.informative.motivational and more (i know you want to know what “more” is ........shhhhh still working on it!). So I’d like you( if you will be so kind...) to get conversational and holler back with your thoughts and we’ll take it up from there.

Places in the HEART

Let me introduce a very interesting phrase i coined out of my bible and book study almost a year ago. I can’t remember now what book i was reading but these phrases just started to let themselves into my train of thought.”Places in the heart” refer (wait for it...) to the atitude of our heart towards God and towards people. Our hearts are full of atitudes. How we relate or respond to other people depends on the atitude of our hearts toward them.It is these atitudes that also decide how opened up or how closed up we are to the things God says or prompts. Heart atitude is hidden. We might not even notice it while its forming, until it gives birth to a tangible action that betrays the real state of our inside. I want to keep my heart atitude tender towards God.I want to be tender- hearted and yielding, easily influenced to reason with God not against or away from God. So i have created a space at the bottom of each post called “places in the heart”. It will influence your heart and affect your heart atitudes towards God and people.

HangingOUT withHARRIS

I first saw and met my buddy Steve Harris at a training facilitated by Visible Impact consulting. Harris works with Uncle Fela .(Fela Durotoye is the CEO of Visible Impact but even more impressive is the fact that he is a courteous, kindhearted, warm and genuine person with a distinctive humane quality about him). Harris is very passionate about what he does which is training and strategizing for service providers in different industries to help them create a world- class edge in their organizations. That’s just neat! He’s a great guy and he said to me while we were talking one day; ” You will not get rich on your salary”. I wrote it down and we kept talking and then he dropped another nugget : ” God’s greatest desire for you is to earn a fee doing something he created you to do for free!”. I also wrote that down, this time i wrote his name under the quote and decided that hanging with Harris was a valuable learning experience! So you are also going to be hanging out with him on this blog. In addition to his work as a business consultant and motivational speaker, he is presently working on his book and i can bet 7 inches of my hard-earned long hair that it will be a best selling success! So enjoy “hanging out with Harris” and enjoy my blog!!!