I woke up one harmattan morning knowing my emotions were against me. I was aware of a feeling of sadness that made me just want to cry. I also knew without needing to dig too deep what it was all about. A delightfully dear friend of mine who took a cupid arrow in the heart for me once, and who thankfully is still affectionately disposed to me regardless, had come to visit the day before and we played catch up. Even though we’d been pals a few years, i relished the quality of our friendship as it now stood; never been lovers, twice been friends. He told me all about his career, his forays in business, his writing which we have in common, it’s evolution and of course his love interests ( I’m a hopeless romantic, i never spare my friend’s love lives) . As our talk wore on into the last minutes of conversation, he suddenly said to me, “Nike you are the type to take home to Mama” . His comment didn’t have the usual effect on me, i was lost in thought.
In the first six months of this year life was a breeze. I was ensconced in testimony after testimony, month after month, but as the year stepped into it’s concluding half cycle, i got unlucky in love and had a hurtfull falling out with it. As if hit by a gaint wave, i found myself at the low ebbs of life’s current and literally found myself there. In the whirl of battered emotions, something strange began to happen- my spiritual life had a chance to grow. Humbled by pain, numbed by suffering, i was more open to listen to God. I was so sobered that i wrote in one journal entry:
I’m numb
I have no pride
I have no shame
No tears to cry
No tantrums to throw
I’m no longer looking for a way out
I ‘m not looking for a short cut
I’m just waiting for this cup to pass over me
I’m waiting to be fine again
Interestingly, this year i set for myself the laudable goal to read the entire new testament. My strategy was to read a chapter or two a day. I made this decision in Febraury when i had this unsettling feeling of “hollowness” settle over me. A phenomenum i later recognised as God nudging me in the area of my commitment to a consistent, daily fellowship with him. But about the time of my fall from cloud nine i had slipped into a dull routine. It was all beginning to be a bore and i had started loosing ground and focus. Love-wrecked however, i turned to God again and together, God and i found the way back to solid ground. On the sturdy steps of a rejuvenated relationship with God, my shaken sense of self was centered again and i quickly regained my elasticity (the ability of a thing to return quickly to it’s original shape and size after being bent, stretched or squashed) and pulled back tautly into form. Incidentally too at that time, i miraculously encountered Joel Osteen in his book- “Your best life now”. I know that book was well timed to my exact need of it by the author and orchestrator of love Himself. He loves me so! My awe of God’s timing was heightened when i observed that i would just be experiencing a withdrawal symptom, when the chapter i was reading would be teaching on how to cope with the SPECIFIC thing i was dealing with! I have never before seen that type of synchronicity between real life and a book, but as i concluded chapter after chapter of that book, i literally closed chapters of what has now become a retreating past. This was also when i started journaling the lessons from my daily devotions and curiously, there seems to have been an outstanding theme in all the messages i’d been receiving- messages very relevant to what i was going through. I’d love to share what i’ve been learning but i’ll save that for another post.
Counting blessings; Listing lessons.
One of the things i’m very thankful to God for this year, are ideas. I’ve had so many ideas i’m excited about, ones i think are brilliant. My mind has been alive with them and alert to insights dropped into my very thoughts at odd moments. One of my ideas was to send my article to TRUE LOVE West Africa, it’s one of the articles i featured here in January this year. I was absolutely and pleasantly surprised when the article won a cash prize and was published in the prestigious magazine!
Yay!
So i’m thankful for i-d-e-a-s! I’m also thankful for the amount of information i’ve acquired in both physical and spiritual things. The bible defines a mature, well –rounded christian as someone who has spiritual understanding, see that in one of my fav scriptures of ’09:
“...don’t loose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others”. 2 Peter 1:5-8 The Message/Remix version.
When i found that verse a while ago, i fell in love with the prose. It paints with action words the picture of a seasoned child of God. There is a certain intrigue in the character these words describe, let me show you.
Our basic faith is our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, first as our saviour ( saving us from a damned here and now and a damned hereafter as a direct consequence of sin) and as our Lord ( the one we offer our worship, service and whom we obey). But that’s not all there is to developing our christian status, that’s just the basic not the whole. In addition to being saved and church- going, we should develop good character. This has to do with our morals, integrity and behaivour. Then we should add to that spiritual understanding. This implies that we should acquire a deep, firm, well- founded and resolved understanding of spiritual things. As christians we should be knowledgeable about God, faith , healing, and unworldly things. We should not be left in the dark or be ignorant and unlearned in this area but we should know about them from the bible’s perspective. In addition to that we should develop alert, watchful discipline. This means we should apply a concious control over our lifestyles, values and beliefs. We should then add to that the quality of passionate patience. Isn’t that such a paradox? Patience is the ability to endure waiting or delay or provocation or unpleasant circumstances calmly without becoming angry or upset. And to be passionate in the most watered down, diluted sense means to be willing. So the quality of passionate patience adds up as being willing to endure something difficult with a calm attitude.
Do you already see how beautiful we could be if we were matured christians not just faith speaking, church going, empty ones? I was especially pleased and interested in the next quality.
We, christians are to develop into our persona, reverent wonder. We should develop the sixth sense of wonder. We should be able to see and recognise beauty, the miraculous and the lovely. Christians should exude the charm that comes from the ability to see that a basic beauty permeates things and people. Love for people comes from and is of God, a christian should abound with love for people, affection for others and exuberance about life. These fruits grow out of God’s love for and in us. Added to these traits, a seasoned christian should develop warm friendliness. That’s quite a contrast to our typical gruff, critical or even rude attitudes. People around you and around me should enjoy our warmth. Our friendliness should show itself as helpful, welcoming, tolerant and free of cutthroat competition or mean-spirited conniving. Finally a seasoned christian should show generous love. We should be big hearted, open handed people. Giving in time, in cash and in kind, substantial, sufficient and princely offerings of ourselves .
There aren’t many christians who are a combination of all these traits but the bible explains that each one of these qualities are essential to the development of our basic faith. Most christians stop at being saved, we need to grow. Seasoned with the spices of good character, spiritual understanding, passionate patience and alert discipline and sweetened with the flavours of reverent wonder, warm friendliness, generous love; we can attain the full stature and maturity of our christian transformation. Then will our profession of faith be worth savoring. Then will we be well cooked and suited to our Father’s palate.
Closing ceremony of ’09.
This isn’t my last post for the year but as the year counts down into another, for me the closing ceremony has begun. Part of the activities of my personal 2009 closing ceremony includes that i will be sitting back to count my blessings. This means i will think of every “remembrable” thing (pardon my French) that i’ve been blessed with or blessed to have and prepare a praise, an offering and a dance for the Lord to thank Him. The second thing i’m going to be doing is to go over the four journals i have written this year and review all i’ve learnt. I’ll be taking time off my bible and other books for a while and will use my journalized devotions during my quiet time. Finally i will take time to focus on the new year and be ready for her by the time she gets here. So let the count down begin! Oooooh i’m soooo excited!
November 29, 2009
November 06, 2009
I USED TO FEEL GUILTY WHEN I DIDN’T READ MY BIBLE BUT NOW I JUST DON’T.
At the beginning of the year i had a wake up call. I had been playing hop, skip and jump in my personal bible study and prayer time and i experienced an unusual and uncomfortable feeling of emptiness inside me that i couldn’t bear to live with it. This persisted over a period of time until i realised it was God letting me experience the emptiness of a life without Him at the centre of it. I knew without being told that it had everything to do with the lack of consistency in my learning about God and his ways and in my training in being like Jesus who is the exact image of who God wants us to be. I also knew it wasn’t just a question of my not doing the ritual of “quiet time” or “daily devotion” or “personal altar” or whatever you might call it, i knew it was an issue bordering strongly on my attitude to God and the things of God. It was an issue of things like committment and faithfulness. Those are terms that come up when you’re in a relationship with someone you’re into and these are the qualities that take our experience of God out of impersonal routine into a real , tangible, results- to –show- for – it, relationship with the Living God. God will always match committment, faithfulness and obedience with passionate involvement but he barely tolerates reluctant, hot today; cold tommorow, once in a while, when i can, committment. It’s like a relationship between you and someone you love, their indifference to you would be worse than their outright rejection of you.
So i brushed up. I got my act together and stopped slacking like someone reading this should. I looked into all the reasons why i had been unable to maintain the discipline of devotions before and here is one; I didn’t have a plan to follow. The reason you hop, skip , jump on your devotions is because you don’t have a plan. If you rely on just opening your bible to some random page and reading whatever you see, it’s just as silly as preparing for an exam by guessing the pages and topics to read instead of reading the syllabus.
An example of a plan is one of these: Read the bible from start to finish in one year by reading a minimum of two chapters from the old and new testament each; Read the entire New testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read the entire old testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read selected books each month e.g study the life of Esther or Daniel; study all the books that chronicle the life of Jesus on earth- the gospels( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John); Read the books that deal with your attitudes or areas of weakness e.g the book of Proverbs that deals with issues like anger, talking before thinking, hard work or wisdom, the book of Hebrews to understand the free gift of salvation, the book of Timothy and Titus to understand what the bible says about you and your family, your spouse, your employers, the government and your church or read the bible by topics using a devotional, your bible index or a book that gives you selected reading over a certain period e.g The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. This is a very good book, please read it.
What Is Your Perception About The Bible?
The bible is not a book of stories, a book of histories, a religous book, a collection of psalms and proverbs, or “whachumacallit” , it is all of these and more. It is a library of resources for life, it is a guide that points the way to God, it is a friend that holds you accountable, it is a teacher of the very principles on which human endeavours thrive... not convinced? Tell me what you think it is and we’ll take it from there but for starters know that the bible is the truth about God and how he relates with you. If you question the authenticity of the bible and don’t believe it, i want to help you so write back, but this is what the bible says about it’s own authenticy - (2Timothy 3:16) All scripture is given by the inspiration of God; this is what we believe. If you see it as irrelevent to today, you probably have your good reasons, i want to hear them but know that your basic attitude to the bible limits your experience of what it says.
Back To The Basics.
Own your own copy of the bible. Buy a Version you like, one that appeals to your style and your person. Consider the size. Personalize your choice.
Set aside a convenient time to read it at the same time everyday, like brushing your teeth.
Take time to pray before you start, like saying grace before a meal. David in Psalms said ” Lord open my eyes to see the good things in your law”. He was one guy that was passionate about his daily devotions, he wrote all about it in the longest psalm of the collection. Ask God to settle you in a frame of mind that is peaceful. Ask him for undersanding. Ask him to help you not to reason contrary to what it says; have you ever thought you were right about something beyond any REASONABLE doubt and then found out that you were oh, so wrong? Ask him to give you a receptive mind.
Bite what you can chew. Value quality over quantity; a verse you understand and apply is better than an entire book you forget. Do a bit everyday. Think of reading your bible like the acts of eating and sleeping. We sleep only for a few hours of the day, everyday; we don’t sleep all our sleep time for life at once, so don’t do it all at once, you will go a long way by just reading a bit consistently and on a daily basis.
Learning Consistency.
If you are not a very disciplined person like me, this might be a long struggle for you but the success is in getting right back to it when you miss a day, a week or months. It’s natural to feel quilty about forgetting or outrightly refusing to read your bible but don’t let the Devil take advantage of your emotions and make you feel so guilty that you think you are a bad person or God is angry with you or you’re not going to be able to keep this up because you lack what it takes, e.t.c. Any feeling of guilt that makes you unable to read your bible is not from God. Guilt that makes you feel unhappy that you haven’t kept your committment but pushes you to do the right thing now that you’ve realised your mistake is healthy. Practice makes perfect so just keep doing it till you form a habit of it. To buttresse more on the importance of consistency, in the parable of the sower, the inconstant reader of the word is described as a person who is like rocky ground that when the seed of the word is sown into him, because it has no real roots, no depth, the crops dried up and whittered away. Only the consistent develop roots so go be a root LOL.
Getting The Most Out Of Reading Your Bible.
Try to grow beyond reading your bible just to satisfy your conscience. I remember those days in Sunday school when the teacher will go round the rows asking if we had read our bibles, some days my heart would just sink as i waited my turn. Grow beyond that type of bible reading motivated by fear of punishment or rebuke. Approach the bible like a student of it and like a student don’t read but study it. I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you but consider it thoughtfully and strive for it. You should have a notebook where you take down notes as you study your bible. It’s called SOAP.
S - Scripture: As you read the portion for the day, write down the verses that make sense to you in your notebook. The ones that strike a cord or gets your attention.
O- Observation: Concentrate. Reason. Think. What does what you have read mean? The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear or read will be the measure of benefit, information and knowledge that comes back to you.
A- Application: Think through an application of what you have read. This may require you to recall situations in the past and make comparison between the way you acted and the way you’ve just observed from the bible that you should act. Replay the scenerio and reason out how you would act next time. Your premeditated course of action about a hypothetical situation or one that occurred in the past will help you be a better doer of the word if you have to face it in future. You may also see in your bible things you should do, write them down and make a commitment to do them. Best of all, you might see things you didn’t know before, write these new lessons down. God will be speaking to you through them. After a while when you go over all you’ve been learning, you might find a re-occurring topic or theme God is trying to teach you about.
P- Prayer: When you pray, thank God for showing you what He needed you to see. Ask him to help you apply what you’ve learnt in real life, also ask him to help you remember what you have read when you need it.
What To Do When You Don’t Understand What You Are Reading.
Don’t get discouraged, read till you can pick out something you’ve learnt or understood. You might also want to consider using a daily devotional which not only gives you a bible reading plan but also explains the passages you have read. When you use a devotional, don’t just read the story or write up in the devotional without checking out the verses yourself, God will speak to you every time you pick up his word. Devotionals you can use include: Everyday with Jesus, Inspiring women, Daily manna, Our daily bread, The word for today, Rhapsody of realities, there are a lot more out there. Again choose one that suits your style, the goal is not for you to rely so much on a devotional that you cannot read your bible without one. Look up devotionals online too but please have someone recommend a good one to you, you don’t want to find out that you’re reading a devotional by the church of Satan!!!
www.lifejournal.cc is one you can try.
A final word.
The blessing in reading your bible is in doing what you learn, you are blessed in the doing not in the reading or hearing. One reason we do not do the word even though we hear it is that we forget. The bible likens that to someone who looks in the mirror, sees how fly he looks then leaves his house and completely forgets who he is, dumb yeah? The bible calls us heedless listeners who forget when we act like that but we should grow into active doers who obey. Just remember that the taste of the blessing is in the doing. Have i helped you in any new way? Let me know how. Enjoy your devotions!
So i brushed up. I got my act together and stopped slacking like someone reading this should. I looked into all the reasons why i had been unable to maintain the discipline of devotions before and here is one; I didn’t have a plan to follow. The reason you hop, skip , jump on your devotions is because you don’t have a plan. If you rely on just opening your bible to some random page and reading whatever you see, it’s just as silly as preparing for an exam by guessing the pages and topics to read instead of reading the syllabus.
An example of a plan is one of these: Read the bible from start to finish in one year by reading a minimum of two chapters from the old and new testament each; Read the entire New testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read the entire old testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read selected books each month e.g study the life of Esther or Daniel; study all the books that chronicle the life of Jesus on earth- the gospels( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John); Read the books that deal with your attitudes or areas of weakness e.g the book of Proverbs that deals with issues like anger, talking before thinking, hard work or wisdom, the book of Hebrews to understand the free gift of salvation, the book of Timothy and Titus to understand what the bible says about you and your family, your spouse, your employers, the government and your church or read the bible by topics using a devotional, your bible index or a book that gives you selected reading over a certain period e.g The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. This is a very good book, please read it.
What Is Your Perception About The Bible?
The bible is not a book of stories, a book of histories, a religous book, a collection of psalms and proverbs, or “whachumacallit” , it is all of these and more. It is a library of resources for life, it is a guide that points the way to God, it is a friend that holds you accountable, it is a teacher of the very principles on which human endeavours thrive... not convinced? Tell me what you think it is and we’ll take it from there but for starters know that the bible is the truth about God and how he relates with you. If you question the authenticity of the bible and don’t believe it, i want to help you so write back, but this is what the bible says about it’s own authenticy - (2Timothy 3:16) All scripture is given by the inspiration of God; this is what we believe. If you see it as irrelevent to today, you probably have your good reasons, i want to hear them but know that your basic attitude to the bible limits your experience of what it says.
Back To The Basics.
Own your own copy of the bible. Buy a Version you like, one that appeals to your style and your person. Consider the size. Personalize your choice.
Set aside a convenient time to read it at the same time everyday, like brushing your teeth.
Take time to pray before you start, like saying grace before a meal. David in Psalms said ” Lord open my eyes to see the good things in your law”. He was one guy that was passionate about his daily devotions, he wrote all about it in the longest psalm of the collection. Ask God to settle you in a frame of mind that is peaceful. Ask him for undersanding. Ask him to help you not to reason contrary to what it says; have you ever thought you were right about something beyond any REASONABLE doubt and then found out that you were oh, so wrong? Ask him to give you a receptive mind.
Bite what you can chew. Value quality over quantity; a verse you understand and apply is better than an entire book you forget. Do a bit everyday. Think of reading your bible like the acts of eating and sleeping. We sleep only for a few hours of the day, everyday; we don’t sleep all our sleep time for life at once, so don’t do it all at once, you will go a long way by just reading a bit consistently and on a daily basis.
Learning Consistency.
If you are not a very disciplined person like me, this might be a long struggle for you but the success is in getting right back to it when you miss a day, a week or months. It’s natural to feel quilty about forgetting or outrightly refusing to read your bible but don’t let the Devil take advantage of your emotions and make you feel so guilty that you think you are a bad person or God is angry with you or you’re not going to be able to keep this up because you lack what it takes, e.t.c. Any feeling of guilt that makes you unable to read your bible is not from God. Guilt that makes you feel unhappy that you haven’t kept your committment but pushes you to do the right thing now that you’ve realised your mistake is healthy. Practice makes perfect so just keep doing it till you form a habit of it. To buttresse more on the importance of consistency, in the parable of the sower, the inconstant reader of the word is described as a person who is like rocky ground that when the seed of the word is sown into him, because it has no real roots, no depth, the crops dried up and whittered away. Only the consistent develop roots so go be a root LOL.
Getting The Most Out Of Reading Your Bible.
Try to grow beyond reading your bible just to satisfy your conscience. I remember those days in Sunday school when the teacher will go round the rows asking if we had read our bibles, some days my heart would just sink as i waited my turn. Grow beyond that type of bible reading motivated by fear of punishment or rebuke. Approach the bible like a student of it and like a student don’t read but study it. I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you but consider it thoughtfully and strive for it. You should have a notebook where you take down notes as you study your bible. It’s called SOAP.
S - Scripture: As you read the portion for the day, write down the verses that make sense to you in your notebook. The ones that strike a cord or gets your attention.
O- Observation: Concentrate. Reason. Think. What does what you have read mean? The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear or read will be the measure of benefit, information and knowledge that comes back to you.
A- Application: Think through an application of what you have read. This may require you to recall situations in the past and make comparison between the way you acted and the way you’ve just observed from the bible that you should act. Replay the scenerio and reason out how you would act next time. Your premeditated course of action about a hypothetical situation or one that occurred in the past will help you be a better doer of the word if you have to face it in future. You may also see in your bible things you should do, write them down and make a commitment to do them. Best of all, you might see things you didn’t know before, write these new lessons down. God will be speaking to you through them. After a while when you go over all you’ve been learning, you might find a re-occurring topic or theme God is trying to teach you about.
P- Prayer: When you pray, thank God for showing you what He needed you to see. Ask him to help you apply what you’ve learnt in real life, also ask him to help you remember what you have read when you need it.
What To Do When You Don’t Understand What You Are Reading.
Don’t get discouraged, read till you can pick out something you’ve learnt or understood. You might also want to consider using a daily devotional which not only gives you a bible reading plan but also explains the passages you have read. When you use a devotional, don’t just read the story or write up in the devotional without checking out the verses yourself, God will speak to you every time you pick up his word. Devotionals you can use include: Everyday with Jesus, Inspiring women, Daily manna, Our daily bread, The word for today, Rhapsody of realities, there are a lot more out there. Again choose one that suits your style, the goal is not for you to rely so much on a devotional that you cannot read your bible without one. Look up devotionals online too but please have someone recommend a good one to you, you don’t want to find out that you’re reading a devotional by the church of Satan!!!
www.lifejournal.cc is one you can try.
A final word.
The blessing in reading your bible is in doing what you learn, you are blessed in the doing not in the reading or hearing. One reason we do not do the word even though we hear it is that we forget. The bible likens that to someone who looks in the mirror, sees how fly he looks then leaves his house and completely forgets who he is, dumb yeah? The bible calls us heedless listeners who forget when we act like that but we should grow into active doers who obey. Just remember that the taste of the blessing is in the doing. Have i helped you in any new way? Let me know how. Enjoy your devotions!
October 19, 2009
MUM, I’M NOT YOUR BABY!
Food for the soul.
Today i had an absolutely wonderful time sharing my life with my girlfriends. It rubbed my heart, touched my sense of person and it not only left me with a deep feeling of fulfillment, but also gave me an even deeper sense of gratitude for the gift of having each other. The time with my girls was worth a day of my life. We share a history of life experiences, each one stored in the treasure chest of our hearts and as we sat together for hours and hours, totally oblivious of time and place, we took out memory after memory, and cherished them like precious jewels. I prized our friendship even more as we recounted it’s length and it’s rewards. I hallowed the bond formed and forged from laughter loaned and tears borrowed. A bond of sacred sisterhood; legitimate by loyalty, thick as blood. At the end of the day, i observed the healthy glow of my face in the mirror and laughed in meriment; half child, half girl! My smile was a rosette of joy, happiness and heartfelt delight. I was exuding that quality of peace in oneself that flows out of being at peace with others. It was a big high for me. It filled my emotional tank. I had experienced with kindred spirits the wisdom of God in making friends!
Erhm, did i mention that it was wonderful?
MUM! I’m Not Your Baby!
I and my mum speak to each other at least once everyday so when recently she started calling me two, three or four times in the day, i didn’t need a louder signal than that to recognise she wanted me around. So i packed my bags and headed home hoping i was making a good decision and that whatever i would be putting on hold or in second place would wait for me. Once home it was quite surprising how i quickly eased into my old ways. I still preffered to read and write seated on my old bed rather than use a table, i still found it hard to leave the house and i still loved my bed. The rewards of being back were peace and quiet, regular and healthy food, longer hours of sleep, sessions in front of the tube plus i got to dodge house work in the name of seniority, i mean if it was unpleasant or inconvenient, i remembered i was the senior! I thoroughly maximised the moment for i knew that the moro cometh when i would lust for my independence again.
Isn’t it puzzling that no matter how old we grow our parents still see us as their babies. When we are young the relationship we have with them is uncomplicated. In fact we learn early in life the way we relate to our parents, we are conditioned by nature and habituated by their nurturing to play the role of a child. But as we grow older and change, the relationship also changes and our roles evolve along entirely different lines. Perhaps unfortunately, no one teaches us how to manage the different facets it metamorphosis into and we are forced to figure it out by ourselves. It is at this point that fathers loose their sons and daughters hate their mothers. This is not the picture God had in mind for our relationships with our parents. That’s a malfunction of the design that was intended by the manufacturer. God’s actual picture is one of peace and harmony between parents and children. The bible says it’s a good and pleasant thing for brethren- members of the same family, to dwell together in harmony and that it is within that type of unity that he commands his blessings.
During our teenage years we start to develop our own views about life. We tend towards the opinion of our peers more in the interest of solidarity than by the force of individuality. It is at this age we begin to test theories and experiment with convictions. We start to disagree with our parents and resent the imposition of their standards on us. We hold waring opinions on what to wear, where to go, what time to stay out, which course to study, whom to date e.t.c and if it is not handled properly it often ends in a battle of wills where the one party who wins the battle, looses the war. Consequently, the emotional umbilical cord from parent to child is yanked off and we never regain the level of intimacy, trust, respect and even love we shared with our parents in our early years.
As we mature, that cord of love is further tested by our transition into adulthood. Our parents struggle to accept that we have grown and they fight to hold on to the level of control they used to have but this makes us shift even further from them as we struggle for independence and strive to shake off their influence and control. They want to be relevant in our decisions but we often assert our independence and maturity by taking decisions on our own or ignoring their advice. Our financial dependence is the last of our dependencies we grow out of and from there on we are our own. It seems we don’t need them anymore. Worse, as our parents grow older we notice their flaws, we judge their results, we criticise their choices, we blame them for their failures and even ours. In the end all that is left is over used courtesy and distant respect. The gulf all but widens until there is no hope for any intimacy with them. Our heros who though at one time faced the world with brazen confidence, suddenly contract a disturbing fear of it. They become intimidated by rapid changes they have not caught on with or distressed by thoughts of the future and as their hands grow frail on the reins of life, ours attain mastery of it. The wheels have turned. It is at this point that the child becomes the parent and vice versa and they may need to depend on us for emotional, mental and financial support.
And although we have played our role of being our parent’s children by force of habit in our developing years, as the circle turns and we earn our independence, we must rely on a greater force to keep the balance in the evolved relationships with our nearest and dearest- Love. Love makes the effort to involve them and make them feel relevant, respected, loved and valued. We may have to rediscover them, we may have to resist the pull of our busy lives to keep in touch with them, maybe even take an interest in something they love and make it our thing just to get along. And even though we now know that they are far from perfect and may get on our nerves from time to time, we have to find common ground to walk with them on.
I miss mine just writing this and i think i’ll just stop here and make a quick phone call eh?
Today i had an absolutely wonderful time sharing my life with my girlfriends. It rubbed my heart, touched my sense of person and it not only left me with a deep feeling of fulfillment, but also gave me an even deeper sense of gratitude for the gift of having each other. The time with my girls was worth a day of my life. We share a history of life experiences, each one stored in the treasure chest of our hearts and as we sat together for hours and hours, totally oblivious of time and place, we took out memory after memory, and cherished them like precious jewels. I prized our friendship even more as we recounted it’s length and it’s rewards. I hallowed the bond formed and forged from laughter loaned and tears borrowed. A bond of sacred sisterhood; legitimate by loyalty, thick as blood. At the end of the day, i observed the healthy glow of my face in the mirror and laughed in meriment; half child, half girl! My smile was a rosette of joy, happiness and heartfelt delight. I was exuding that quality of peace in oneself that flows out of being at peace with others. It was a big high for me. It filled my emotional tank. I had experienced with kindred spirits the wisdom of God in making friends!
Erhm, did i mention that it was wonderful?
MUM! I’m Not Your Baby!
I and my mum speak to each other at least once everyday so when recently she started calling me two, three or four times in the day, i didn’t need a louder signal than that to recognise she wanted me around. So i packed my bags and headed home hoping i was making a good decision and that whatever i would be putting on hold or in second place would wait for me. Once home it was quite surprising how i quickly eased into my old ways. I still preffered to read and write seated on my old bed rather than use a table, i still found it hard to leave the house and i still loved my bed. The rewards of being back were peace and quiet, regular and healthy food, longer hours of sleep, sessions in front of the tube plus i got to dodge house work in the name of seniority, i mean if it was unpleasant or inconvenient, i remembered i was the senior! I thoroughly maximised the moment for i knew that the moro cometh when i would lust for my independence again.
Isn’t it puzzling that no matter how old we grow our parents still see us as their babies. When we are young the relationship we have with them is uncomplicated. In fact we learn early in life the way we relate to our parents, we are conditioned by nature and habituated by their nurturing to play the role of a child. But as we grow older and change, the relationship also changes and our roles evolve along entirely different lines. Perhaps unfortunately, no one teaches us how to manage the different facets it metamorphosis into and we are forced to figure it out by ourselves. It is at this point that fathers loose their sons and daughters hate their mothers. This is not the picture God had in mind for our relationships with our parents. That’s a malfunction of the design that was intended by the manufacturer. God’s actual picture is one of peace and harmony between parents and children. The bible says it’s a good and pleasant thing for brethren- members of the same family, to dwell together in harmony and that it is within that type of unity that he commands his blessings.
During our teenage years we start to develop our own views about life. We tend towards the opinion of our peers more in the interest of solidarity than by the force of individuality. It is at this age we begin to test theories and experiment with convictions. We start to disagree with our parents and resent the imposition of their standards on us. We hold waring opinions on what to wear, where to go, what time to stay out, which course to study, whom to date e.t.c and if it is not handled properly it often ends in a battle of wills where the one party who wins the battle, looses the war. Consequently, the emotional umbilical cord from parent to child is yanked off and we never regain the level of intimacy, trust, respect and even love we shared with our parents in our early years.
As we mature, that cord of love is further tested by our transition into adulthood. Our parents struggle to accept that we have grown and they fight to hold on to the level of control they used to have but this makes us shift even further from them as we struggle for independence and strive to shake off their influence and control. They want to be relevant in our decisions but we often assert our independence and maturity by taking decisions on our own or ignoring their advice. Our financial dependence is the last of our dependencies we grow out of and from there on we are our own. It seems we don’t need them anymore. Worse, as our parents grow older we notice their flaws, we judge their results, we criticise their choices, we blame them for their failures and even ours. In the end all that is left is over used courtesy and distant respect. The gulf all but widens until there is no hope for any intimacy with them. Our heros who though at one time faced the world with brazen confidence, suddenly contract a disturbing fear of it. They become intimidated by rapid changes they have not caught on with or distressed by thoughts of the future and as their hands grow frail on the reins of life, ours attain mastery of it. The wheels have turned. It is at this point that the child becomes the parent and vice versa and they may need to depend on us for emotional, mental and financial support.
And although we have played our role of being our parent’s children by force of habit in our developing years, as the circle turns and we earn our independence, we must rely on a greater force to keep the balance in the evolved relationships with our nearest and dearest- Love. Love makes the effort to involve them and make them feel relevant, respected, loved and valued. We may have to rediscover them, we may have to resist the pull of our busy lives to keep in touch with them, maybe even take an interest in something they love and make it our thing just to get along. And even though we now know that they are far from perfect and may get on our nerves from time to time, we have to find common ground to walk with them on.
I miss mine just writing this and i think i’ll just stop here and make a quick phone call eh?
August 29, 2009
A moment in the mirror
I was innocently making up this morning, just minding my beauty business. I was absent minded; giving no actual thought to the motions just creating the desired strokes by habit. One more dab of powder on my left cheek and i paused to see if i had done enough and that was when i really noticed me in the mirror. I must have been staring at my face the whole time but it was in that split second i really saw myself. I saw my fair, smooth skin that was alive with it’s own vibrance. I could see that the powder i had been rubbing on to it could neither hide it’s shine nor take credit for it’s glow. My eyes took in my side view quite like any observer, only in this case my attention was commanded by my own beauty, i mean beauty that is mine, that is a part of me... i was only looking.
I saw that the face in the mirror was oblong , i thought it was the right fit for a face with a discernible forehead and a long chin. I noticed the black hair starting at the front of my head and tilted my face sideways to see it end at the nape of my neck. Pulled back in a chignon it looked just like me. I saw that it was good. I smiled. My words took the admiration of my thoughts and escaped my lips with them:“ See this fine girl”, i said, as much in estatic surprise as in proud delight. It was mine; the face, the moment, the feeling. I may never remember those few minutes again but i don’t want to forget what they left me. They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If i am the beholder, i am beautiful.
Between Joel Osteen, God and me!
So i’m reading this book by Joel Osteen called “Your best life now”. I love books. A great book is like a great friend.And so when I wasn’t feeling very tall inside recently, i knew i only needed to find the right book and i’d be fine. I just didn’t know what book i was looking for.
While i was in the middle of this thought process, i came across a copy of “Your best life now” that belonged to someone else. I flicked through the pages and was engaged by the parts of it i could speed-read. I knew it was just what i needed only after a few minutes of perusal. I couldn’t borrow the copy i saw but the thought of stealing it certainly crossed my mind. Sadly, i and the book parted ways and i wished i’d either find a copy to buy or get it as a gift just as soon as i could find the right person to give a carefully deviced hint! I had to have that book.
That same day i went for my bible study meeting and somewhere between the praying, studying the word and catching up with friends , i soon forgot all about Joel Osteen or his book that i had to have! As the meeting ended and i was about to tow my tired body home, i was informed that there would be another short meeting i was to be part of! One of those fellowships after fellowship! I took a long, longing look at the door , envying those i could see making their way through it, before commanding myself in the opposite direction for this second meeting.
Once there i felt guilty about my reluctance because it was a surprise celebration of belated birthdays for some of us in attendance.There was a cake, drinks and wrapped gifts. I quickly warmed up to the mood. I received a gift, grabbed some cake and played along when they sang “happy birthday” and prayed for us. I mean, if God wanted to recreate my birthday experience a whole month after the actual date, i wasn’t going to mind!
The others who didn’t get gifts were curious to know what the rest of us had been given. “Open it” someone said motioning at me. I tried to feel it to figure out what it was. “it’s a book”, i replied hoping my response would do. I wasn’t interested in opening it just yet. Then it hit me. “What if it’s Joel Osteen’s book?”
Nah! I dismissed the thought.
“It couldn’t be. How would that happen anyway? Afterall, i only wished for it this afternoon and that was just a few hours ago. Besides there was no time to even pray for it to happen. You know how you have to bug God about it or work hard at worrying about how it would come, then pout that it hadn’t and finally grumble about it until God took the hint and gave you just to shut you up! How could i get the book just like that?”
“Nah”, i concluded again. And to prove it, i peered through the wrapping paper and saw the letters: T-i-m. “That settles it”. I decided. “It’s just some book by Tim Lahaye. See!”
“Let’s see what you got”.
The voice came from behind me. I acquiesced and started to unwrap my Tim Lahaye book from one corner. As i peeled off the wrapping paper, i caught a picture of Joel Osteen on the cover! My eyes widdened in complete, honest- to –God surprise and grew bigger when i read the words on the cover: ” Your best life now”. I screamed. I looked for Tim’s name and saw that the words where- New york TIMes bestseller! The voice behind me spoke again;
“It’s a book”.
This time i wheeled around to face it’s owner shaking my head, desperate for understanding. “You don’t understand”, I insisted. “It’s the book. Just this afternoon, i wished i could have this exact book and i get here and you guys present it to me without ever knowing what i wanted!”
I was blown away by God and i kept screaming out the holler conceived in my inside the minute i saw my surprise. God knows how to blow your mind! I mean here i was trying to figure out what God had set up an abundant way to give me!!! Woow! Later when i told someone else, she narrated how she had been prompted to make a gift of the same book to her brother who unknown to her, had the day before, given it as a gift to somebody else when he really wanted it for himself!
I’m still on cloud nine from that experience and i just had to write about it... there!
I saw that the face in the mirror was oblong , i thought it was the right fit for a face with a discernible forehead and a long chin. I noticed the black hair starting at the front of my head and tilted my face sideways to see it end at the nape of my neck. Pulled back in a chignon it looked just like me. I saw that it was good. I smiled. My words took the admiration of my thoughts and escaped my lips with them:“ See this fine girl”, i said, as much in estatic surprise as in proud delight. It was mine; the face, the moment, the feeling. I may never remember those few minutes again but i don’t want to forget what they left me. They say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. If i am the beholder, i am beautiful.
Between Joel Osteen, God and me!
So i’m reading this book by Joel Osteen called “Your best life now”. I love books. A great book is like a great friend.And so when I wasn’t feeling very tall inside recently, i knew i only needed to find the right book and i’d be fine. I just didn’t know what book i was looking for.
While i was in the middle of this thought process, i came across a copy of “Your best life now” that belonged to someone else. I flicked through the pages and was engaged by the parts of it i could speed-read. I knew it was just what i needed only after a few minutes of perusal. I couldn’t borrow the copy i saw but the thought of stealing it certainly crossed my mind. Sadly, i and the book parted ways and i wished i’d either find a copy to buy or get it as a gift just as soon as i could find the right person to give a carefully deviced hint! I had to have that book.
That same day i went for my bible study meeting and somewhere between the praying, studying the word and catching up with friends , i soon forgot all about Joel Osteen or his book that i had to have! As the meeting ended and i was about to tow my tired body home, i was informed that there would be another short meeting i was to be part of! One of those fellowships after fellowship! I took a long, longing look at the door , envying those i could see making their way through it, before commanding myself in the opposite direction for this second meeting.
Once there i felt guilty about my reluctance because it was a surprise celebration of belated birthdays for some of us in attendance.There was a cake, drinks and wrapped gifts. I quickly warmed up to the mood. I received a gift, grabbed some cake and played along when they sang “happy birthday” and prayed for us. I mean, if God wanted to recreate my birthday experience a whole month after the actual date, i wasn’t going to mind!
The others who didn’t get gifts were curious to know what the rest of us had been given. “Open it” someone said motioning at me. I tried to feel it to figure out what it was. “it’s a book”, i replied hoping my response would do. I wasn’t interested in opening it just yet. Then it hit me. “What if it’s Joel Osteen’s book?”
Nah! I dismissed the thought.
“It couldn’t be. How would that happen anyway? Afterall, i only wished for it this afternoon and that was just a few hours ago. Besides there was no time to even pray for it to happen. You know how you have to bug God about it or work hard at worrying about how it would come, then pout that it hadn’t and finally grumble about it until God took the hint and gave you just to shut you up! How could i get the book just like that?”
“Nah”, i concluded again. And to prove it, i peered through the wrapping paper and saw the letters: T-i-m. “That settles it”. I decided. “It’s just some book by Tim Lahaye. See!”
“Let’s see what you got”.
The voice came from behind me. I acquiesced and started to unwrap my Tim Lahaye book from one corner. As i peeled off the wrapping paper, i caught a picture of Joel Osteen on the cover! My eyes widdened in complete, honest- to –God surprise and grew bigger when i read the words on the cover: ” Your best life now”. I screamed. I looked for Tim’s name and saw that the words where- New york TIMes bestseller! The voice behind me spoke again;
“It’s a book”.
This time i wheeled around to face it’s owner shaking my head, desperate for understanding. “You don’t understand”, I insisted. “It’s the book. Just this afternoon, i wished i could have this exact book and i get here and you guys present it to me without ever knowing what i wanted!”
I was blown away by God and i kept screaming out the holler conceived in my inside the minute i saw my surprise. God knows how to blow your mind! I mean here i was trying to figure out what God had set up an abundant way to give me!!! Woow! Later when i told someone else, she narrated how she had been prompted to make a gift of the same book to her brother who unknown to her, had the day before, given it as a gift to somebody else when he really wanted it for himself!
I’m still on cloud nine from that experience and i just had to write about it... there!
August 12, 2009
And you call yourself a Christian? Of course...
As i walk with God; as i develop and grow a relationship with him; as i learn the way he wants me to be in thought, action and motive and practice it; as i express my needs to him; asking him to do things in my life, in my relationships, in my world; as i submit my will to him, becoming agreeable to his desire for me ;and as i fellowship with other people allowing myself see God through their experiences and getting a richer picture of who he is; i am positioned to live an abundant and full life.
Everyday as i allow God in i see him make things work for me. My prayers are answered. For instance the important things that i really wanted say, in the past year? When i got to the point when i needed to get them, even when i did not qualify? I got them. All of them, the complete package, nothing missing, no detail omitted. I’m telling you the truth.
As i allow God a few hours of my time each day; as i allow him a little part of my money each month; as i allow him to guide and sometimes, no, most times pinch me and make me aware of how important the people i interact with daily are to him and how i can’t treat them like second class citizens, as i commit to several hours a week of church meetings which i find interesting, uplifting and educative ;there is an unmistakable turn around in the quality of my life. My point is i generally seem to master my complete role in life with God. I’m reaching higher and grabbing handfulls of a higher life.
I’m becoming a better person. My fears are not at the foreground; they recede in the background. My worries are less engaging, i turn them into prayers; self- centered behaivour is challenged. There’s just a sensor that alerts me to behaivour that is unfair towards another person. My accommodation and acceptance of people more; my suspicion and scrutiny less. It’s just more of the good everyday and less of the bad.
You know that kind of person who seems to get it all? God literally sets you up to be the kind of employee your boss wants to promote , the child your family wants to help along, the homie your friends want to stick up for, the spouse your partner wants to see succeed, the member your pastor/community leader/assocciation president is looking for an opportunity to help, the name or face a total stranger wants to assist... do you see?
A short excerpt explains better...
“It’s obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex, a stinking accummulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition, all- consuming –yet –never- satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love and be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small – minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies (poor imitations) of community/family/relationship... but what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard. Things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshall and direct our energies wisely.”
My life is not perfect. I’m not perfect. But my life makes sense. It is full. It feels great. The future not only looks bright but it is. It isn’t waiting to happen, it is happening. When you do it his way in every area, you live in the flow where he commands things to be blessed, where he makes life abundant, where he nourishes dreams to grow, in the flow where he says YES. When you say yes to him and what he wants, you are saying yes to you and what you want.
Read your bible (get one), pray everyday, be in church, participate, be born again ( in simple english that means do what God tells you, live as he wants you to, give him his rights over you). It pays big time!
You already know what i’m talking about cos it’s been real for you? Then talk about it. Share all that good stuff! “... you are the one’s chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work( nothing heavy folks it just means being an amebo about God), chosen to be a holy people (yep yah heard right), God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night- and- day difference he made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”
Well, so you are a christian eh?
Everyday as i allow God in i see him make things work for me. My prayers are answered. For instance the important things that i really wanted say, in the past year? When i got to the point when i needed to get them, even when i did not qualify? I got them. All of them, the complete package, nothing missing, no detail omitted. I’m telling you the truth.
As i allow God a few hours of my time each day; as i allow him a little part of my money each month; as i allow him to guide and sometimes, no, most times pinch me and make me aware of how important the people i interact with daily are to him and how i can’t treat them like second class citizens, as i commit to several hours a week of church meetings which i find interesting, uplifting and educative ;there is an unmistakable turn around in the quality of my life. My point is i generally seem to master my complete role in life with God. I’m reaching higher and grabbing handfulls of a higher life.
I’m becoming a better person. My fears are not at the foreground; they recede in the background. My worries are less engaging, i turn them into prayers; self- centered behaivour is challenged. There’s just a sensor that alerts me to behaivour that is unfair towards another person. My accommodation and acceptance of people more; my suspicion and scrutiny less. It’s just more of the good everyday and less of the bad.
You know that kind of person who seems to get it all? God literally sets you up to be the kind of employee your boss wants to promote , the child your family wants to help along, the homie your friends want to stick up for, the spouse your partner wants to see succeed, the member your pastor/community leader/assocciation president is looking for an opportunity to help, the name or face a total stranger wants to assist... do you see?
A short excerpt explains better...
“It’s obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex, a stinking accummulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition, all- consuming –yet –never- satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love and be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small – minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival, uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies (poor imitations) of community/family/relationship... but what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard. Things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshall and direct our energies wisely.”
My life is not perfect. I’m not perfect. But my life makes sense. It is full. It feels great. The future not only looks bright but it is. It isn’t waiting to happen, it is happening. When you do it his way in every area, you live in the flow where he commands things to be blessed, where he makes life abundant, where he nourishes dreams to grow, in the flow where he says YES. When you say yes to him and what he wants, you are saying yes to you and what you want.
Read your bible (get one), pray everyday, be in church, participate, be born again ( in simple english that means do what God tells you, live as he wants you to, give him his rights over you). It pays big time!
You already know what i’m talking about cos it’s been real for you? Then talk about it. Share all that good stuff! “... you are the one’s chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work( nothing heavy folks it just means being an amebo about God), chosen to be a holy people (yep yah heard right), God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night- and- day difference he made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.”
Well, so you are a christian eh?
July 23, 2009
THE NEW GIRL
The year is halfway done or is it half way begone? (Half empty or half full?). God has been dealing with me in an awe- inspiring way and i have been counting my many blessings. There is just such a romance about how God helps us do what only HE can do for us. He must love us so.
Recently i was preparing to take a very tough exam and was told that 70% of the participants who sit for the exam fail it, to add to my apprehension i didn’t have enough time to thoroughly prepare for it. I would be so tired after work that studying at night was out of the question. I was really behind schedule. To make it worse, i didn’t get the time off i’d hoped for from my boss which just made it frustrating. One day, while i was complaining to a friend, she encouraged me to put in all the hours required of me at work and not complain that i wasn’t given the time off to study, she said God would see my faithfulness and bless the spare time i had to read. That was powerful for me because i was getting tempted to steal time off to do “my own thing” afterall “ “they” don’t care about me so why should i sacrifice my success for them” ; i selfishly thought. Her words were my salvation to stay on the high road. Another significant instance was when one day, while i was lamenting about the lack of time to study, some other friend said something that struck me, he said : “God sees your heart , just do your part and He will do his”. Wow! What did my heart have to do with acing my exam? Didn’t you just pass or fail depending on how well you studied or what you deserved? But it made perfect sense. I believe even when it has nothing to do with it, God cares about how we feel, and how badly we want something.
I took the exam and passed.
Yay!
It wasn’t because i read enough, it wasn’t because i had all the time in the world, it wasn’t because i was confident enough, it was because God blessed my little and made it enough. Praise God somebodey!!!
I maintain a grateful heart towards God for all the ways he has showed up for me this past six months. He has made it obvious that he is involved, engaged, interested in the details of my life. That just makes me feel blessed and hopeful. He’s interested in you too!
One other time, i wanted something (don’t ask what? Lol!) and i made out a list describing specifically what i wanted. It was amazing not just that i got it but also how things unfolded for me to have what i prayed for. So yeah, God is good.While i’m still cushioned in the bubble of gratitude, various testimonies passing through my mind, let me settle down to the real object of this post:
Heart atitude – the new girl!
Towards the end of last year i met a lovely young lady. She was introduced at work; she was the new girl! I didn’t have a problem with helping the new girl settle down, and get integrated into the office life afterall only a few months before i was a new comer myself.
(Besides i’m a nice person, a christian for that matter, it’s true!) Lol! (we’ll soon see).
Have you ever noticed the effect a new person has on a click of old friends? Old beefs are ressurected, levels of friendships may be restructured, the click within the click might be reformed, new sides to old friends revealed ...Well soon enough the hornet’s nest was stirred and the buzz was the new girl is this, the new girl is that... On a few occassions i was dragged into the conversation to give my opinion about her. I was tempted to add my own two cents worth of “pre- judgement”. I too wanted to take a good look at the competition and sniff for faults to tip the scale in her disfavour, maybe it would balance out my own areas of disadvantage and we’d all be even eh?
Love said not so!
I succeeded in keeping my observations to myself but the real temptation was not letting assumptions influence my acceptance of her or my behaivour towards her. I was honest to myself about what everyone was complaining about but i resolved not to see those things as weaknesses but to look out for her strengths and appreciate them. After a while things settled down, the new girl got used to the job, formed allies, won a few hearts , developed her own share of enemies... life went on and we soon forgot she was ever new. She became as old as our friendships, as comfortable as our furniture and if her flaws ever came up, they were waived off with a casual “ is it not so and so, that’s just the way she is ”or occassionally an honest “ nobody is perfect” gesture and it usually ended there.
The months wore on and the two of us developed an understanding friendship, special in its own way. One day in a vulnerable moment, we were talking about traits we appreciated in each other and she told me that there was a time in the office when another colleague was complaining about me.
What? Me? I try to be a good gurl!
YEAH RIGHT!
What did i do? Oh no!
Back to the story (Lol!)... apparently this colleague mistook my self -confidence for arrogance, and my friend who used to be the new girl admitted she was tempted at first to see arrogance in my actions but she realised that she really wasn’t holding that quality against me. She recognised that i was just being myself. As i sat there listening, i realised that the same way i had refused to see her negatively without ever telling her about my decision was the same way she had resolved not to judge me either. That was an eye opener. Reminds you of the golden rule to do unto others as you want them to do unto you or more precisely ; judge not and you shall not be judged. What goes around does come around, doesn’t it?
Ok, i have spilled a bit on this post. Hope you learnt something guys! Me? i'm counting my blessings...LOL
Recently i was preparing to take a very tough exam and was told that 70% of the participants who sit for the exam fail it, to add to my apprehension i didn’t have enough time to thoroughly prepare for it. I would be so tired after work that studying at night was out of the question. I was really behind schedule. To make it worse, i didn’t get the time off i’d hoped for from my boss which just made it frustrating. One day, while i was complaining to a friend, she encouraged me to put in all the hours required of me at work and not complain that i wasn’t given the time off to study, she said God would see my faithfulness and bless the spare time i had to read. That was powerful for me because i was getting tempted to steal time off to do “my own thing” afterall “ “they” don’t care about me so why should i sacrifice my success for them” ; i selfishly thought. Her words were my salvation to stay on the high road. Another significant instance was when one day, while i was lamenting about the lack of time to study, some other friend said something that struck me, he said : “God sees your heart , just do your part and He will do his”. Wow! What did my heart have to do with acing my exam? Didn’t you just pass or fail depending on how well you studied or what you deserved? But it made perfect sense. I believe even when it has nothing to do with it, God cares about how we feel, and how badly we want something.
I took the exam and passed.
Yay!
It wasn’t because i read enough, it wasn’t because i had all the time in the world, it wasn’t because i was confident enough, it was because God blessed my little and made it enough. Praise God somebodey!!!
I maintain a grateful heart towards God for all the ways he has showed up for me this past six months. He has made it obvious that he is involved, engaged, interested in the details of my life. That just makes me feel blessed and hopeful. He’s interested in you too!
One other time, i wanted something (don’t ask what? Lol!) and i made out a list describing specifically what i wanted. It was amazing not just that i got it but also how things unfolded for me to have what i prayed for. So yeah, God is good.While i’m still cushioned in the bubble of gratitude, various testimonies passing through my mind, let me settle down to the real object of this post:
Heart atitude – the new girl!
Towards the end of last year i met a lovely young lady. She was introduced at work; she was the new girl! I didn’t have a problem with helping the new girl settle down, and get integrated into the office life afterall only a few months before i was a new comer myself.
(Besides i’m a nice person, a christian for that matter, it’s true!) Lol! (we’ll soon see).
Have you ever noticed the effect a new person has on a click of old friends? Old beefs are ressurected, levels of friendships may be restructured, the click within the click might be reformed, new sides to old friends revealed ...Well soon enough the hornet’s nest was stirred and the buzz was the new girl is this, the new girl is that... On a few occassions i was dragged into the conversation to give my opinion about her. I was tempted to add my own two cents worth of “pre- judgement”. I too wanted to take a good look at the competition and sniff for faults to tip the scale in her disfavour, maybe it would balance out my own areas of disadvantage and we’d all be even eh?
Love said not so!
I succeeded in keeping my observations to myself but the real temptation was not letting assumptions influence my acceptance of her or my behaivour towards her. I was honest to myself about what everyone was complaining about but i resolved not to see those things as weaknesses but to look out for her strengths and appreciate them. After a while things settled down, the new girl got used to the job, formed allies, won a few hearts , developed her own share of enemies... life went on and we soon forgot she was ever new. She became as old as our friendships, as comfortable as our furniture and if her flaws ever came up, they were waived off with a casual “ is it not so and so, that’s just the way she is ”or occassionally an honest “ nobody is perfect” gesture and it usually ended there.
The months wore on and the two of us developed an understanding friendship, special in its own way. One day in a vulnerable moment, we were talking about traits we appreciated in each other and she told me that there was a time in the office when another colleague was complaining about me.
What? Me? I try to be a good gurl!
YEAH RIGHT!
What did i do? Oh no!
Back to the story (Lol!)... apparently this colleague mistook my self -confidence for arrogance, and my friend who used to be the new girl admitted she was tempted at first to see arrogance in my actions but she realised that she really wasn’t holding that quality against me. She recognised that i was just being myself. As i sat there listening, i realised that the same way i had refused to see her negatively without ever telling her about my decision was the same way she had resolved not to judge me either. That was an eye opener. Reminds you of the golden rule to do unto others as you want them to do unto you or more precisely ; judge not and you shall not be judged. What goes around does come around, doesn’t it?
Ok, i have spilled a bit on this post. Hope you learnt something guys! Me? i'm counting my blessings...LOL
May 01, 2009
DAIRY OF AN UNLIKELY CHURCH GIRL...
I am a proper church girl. Ok I admit it! For instance I try not to write very spiritual things but it comes out that way and I do try not to end a convo with a friend who maybe just shared with me a good thing that happened to her with a prayer of thanksgiving or a prayer for help when it’s a tale of woe but it’s become a natural response so much so that a friend shocked me today after I offered to pray for him over something. I concluded what I thought was a short prayer with an assured amen, when he, bemused replied : ” Pastor’s wife!” that jerked me right out of my holy cloud and I quickly pulled the halo of spiritual feelings off my head and hid it in embarrassment “ I’m not a pastors wife” I retorted but he had hung up laughing. I’ll still get him for that one! Him and Harris (Harris writes the articles for “hanging out with Harris” on my blog). He insists against my staunch resistance that I sound like one, so does girlfriend but that’s before I tackle her to the ground and try to physically get her to stop calling me that! What they see? I don’t know.
I don’t like the stereotype of being a “spiro” or the preachy type that makes your skin crawl every time you’re with them (those ones who when you’re around them just being yourself, want you to be perfect with your hair tucked in, straight-faced, speaking the right christianese in a pentecostal accent…lol) but truth be told, I enjoy church and I understand that environment very well. It’s an art and I call this piece the art of enjoying church. This one you have to read because it’s from the diary of an unlikely church girl.
THE ART OF ENJOYING CHURCH
I was at my cousins wedding almost a month ago and it was beautiful. The blushing bride was serenaded by her happy groom. You see he had come upon this idea to sing for his princess (and she was looking every bit like one) but someone should have advised him to save the best for the last or more accurately for a private concert only for his new wife but he bravely sang his heart and voice out oblivious to the tune, riding on pitches even the best in the industry fear to climb! It was a hearty rendition and we all helped the song along amid appreciative gales of laughter! It was a moment to remember. I enjoyed it and the many other magical moments that are possible in an atmosphere of goodwill mixed with some romance. I enjoyed them all because I let the atmosphere take over.
1. The first step towards enjoying church is cooperating with the atmosphere.
Let it steal you away for a moment. Don’t worry about the person next to you. Don’t wonder if they are lifting up their holy hands because they’ showing off their expensive jewelry, don’t be concerned that the person next to you might be the “agent” in your midst ( if God didn’t show you then you shouldn’t be concerned about it), don’t be suspicious of everybody smiling like they’re angels when by your calculations you are almost sure they’re terrors waiting to show their true colors, don’t wonder how to get the attention of the impeccably attired tall, dark and handsome who looks like his Armani suit was glued to him, or the hot legs wrapped in shimmery shine looking like a model off the pages of Vogue. Just plug into the moment and see it through appreciative eyes. See what’s to laugh about, what’s to sing about, what’s to reflect on.
2. Make friends.
Ask someone his name. Tell someone they look nice. Ask them where they work. Pick an interest in another person. You’ll always look forward to it if you know people there and know you’ll be seeing them again. I, for one, look forward to the “fellowship after fellowship”, that’s the time to catch up on friends I didn’t see during the week, greet the mothers and compliment their clothes and jewelry (they always ask you when you’re getting married and tease you about “the broda”) and mix up generally.
3. Be on time and participate.
There’s just something about coming late for any event that saps the juice out of your enjoyment of your first few minutes there. You feel you’re creating unnecessary attention and it takes you some minutes to defiantly return or ignore every accusing stare thrown your way. Plus it costs you another extra few minutes to settle in.
Participate. The easiest way to tell someone who’s not “getting blessed” is when you spot the aloof and “stand- offish” one who sits by themselves. They try not to get their impeccable clothes squeezed so they don’t dance too much only offering an occasional swing from side to side. They usually say very little and of course, they tend to look slightly upset at their neighbor who is dancing like there is no tomorrow wondering what is wrong with them! Lighten up and go with the flow. Wherever the mood takes you, if it’s God then it’s good. Also if you have a flair for an area in church, help out. There are always benefits and it’s the only place you get to learn your art and hone your skills for free!
4. Don’t bad mouth your church and don’t expect perfection.
The first tell tale sign that a person is likely to leave their job, a relationship or church is their complaints and constant critism of it. Yes, there are lapses you admit to but don’t go on and on rehearsing faults in your church. There’s no perfect church. The music may be great but not the delivery of the message or vice versa but don’t let that stop you. I find that it’s those unplanned slips in the service that make it a little less boring so enjoy them all, good and bad.
Ok Nike, time to go. Er, whatever you do this Sunday; Enjoy church!
I don’t like the stereotype of being a “spiro” or the preachy type that makes your skin crawl every time you’re with them (those ones who when you’re around them just being yourself, want you to be perfect with your hair tucked in, straight-faced, speaking the right christianese in a pentecostal accent…lol) but truth be told, I enjoy church and I understand that environment very well. It’s an art and I call this piece the art of enjoying church. This one you have to read because it’s from the diary of an unlikely church girl.
THE ART OF ENJOYING CHURCH
I was at my cousins wedding almost a month ago and it was beautiful. The blushing bride was serenaded by her happy groom. You see he had come upon this idea to sing for his princess (and she was looking every bit like one) but someone should have advised him to save the best for the last or more accurately for a private concert only for his new wife but he bravely sang his heart and voice out oblivious to the tune, riding on pitches even the best in the industry fear to climb! It was a hearty rendition and we all helped the song along amid appreciative gales of laughter! It was a moment to remember. I enjoyed it and the many other magical moments that are possible in an atmosphere of goodwill mixed with some romance. I enjoyed them all because I let the atmosphere take over.
1. The first step towards enjoying church is cooperating with the atmosphere.
Let it steal you away for a moment. Don’t worry about the person next to you. Don’t wonder if they are lifting up their holy hands because they’ showing off their expensive jewelry, don’t be concerned that the person next to you might be the “agent” in your midst ( if God didn’t show you then you shouldn’t be concerned about it), don’t be suspicious of everybody smiling like they’re angels when by your calculations you are almost sure they’re terrors waiting to show their true colors, don’t wonder how to get the attention of the impeccably attired tall, dark and handsome who looks like his Armani suit was glued to him, or the hot legs wrapped in shimmery shine looking like a model off the pages of Vogue. Just plug into the moment and see it through appreciative eyes. See what’s to laugh about, what’s to sing about, what’s to reflect on.
2. Make friends.
Ask someone his name. Tell someone they look nice. Ask them where they work. Pick an interest in another person. You’ll always look forward to it if you know people there and know you’ll be seeing them again. I, for one, look forward to the “fellowship after fellowship”, that’s the time to catch up on friends I didn’t see during the week, greet the mothers and compliment their clothes and jewelry (they always ask you when you’re getting married and tease you about “the broda”) and mix up generally.
3. Be on time and participate.
There’s just something about coming late for any event that saps the juice out of your enjoyment of your first few minutes there. You feel you’re creating unnecessary attention and it takes you some minutes to defiantly return or ignore every accusing stare thrown your way. Plus it costs you another extra few minutes to settle in.
Participate. The easiest way to tell someone who’s not “getting blessed” is when you spot the aloof and “stand- offish” one who sits by themselves. They try not to get their impeccable clothes squeezed so they don’t dance too much only offering an occasional swing from side to side. They usually say very little and of course, they tend to look slightly upset at their neighbor who is dancing like there is no tomorrow wondering what is wrong with them! Lighten up and go with the flow. Wherever the mood takes you, if it’s God then it’s good. Also if you have a flair for an area in church, help out. There are always benefits and it’s the only place you get to learn your art and hone your skills for free!
4. Don’t bad mouth your church and don’t expect perfection.
The first tell tale sign that a person is likely to leave their job, a relationship or church is their complaints and constant critism of it. Yes, there are lapses you admit to but don’t go on and on rehearsing faults in your church. There’s no perfect church. The music may be great but not the delivery of the message or vice versa but don’t let that stop you. I find that it’s those unplanned slips in the service that make it a little less boring so enjoy them all, good and bad.
Ok Nike, time to go. Er, whatever you do this Sunday; Enjoy church!
February 23, 2009
Hanging out with HARRIS
I met a very business savvy young lady today. "She's very enterprising" i thought to myself... she had a mega watt smile and an enthusiastic pitch in her voice and it was just the cherry on the cake that as young as she was she was holding her own with a thriving business. "Hanging out with HARRIS" this month is about managing your business as a young person with the right amount of exurberance and a good measure of seasoned wisdom. Yessir! it's a good one!By the way, how was valentine's day?
BUSINESS for BEGINNERS
It’s a Great day!
It’s the month of February, the love month. With the months ticking away, and the rest pregnant with immense possibilities, I thought it would be nice to share certain tips to guarantee your business success in 2009.
As young people, we’re prone to adrenaline rushes of great ideas, “instant millionaire schemes”…certain to make us the “next BIG thing”, but after a while, the flame flickers, dies or if we’re lucky, we carry on as planned, only to incur massive debt, regret and lots of “had I knowns”.
So what must you do to hit your ultimate business goal in ’08? Well, I’m glad you asked.
There are 3 basic rules of business success:
Dream BIG:
You are the only limit to your imagination. Ask yourself, “What would I achieve if I could NOT fail” and then write it down. Visualize your dream, because you cannot feature in a future that you do not picture! What do you see? Look at your feet, what do you notice? They are pointed in the direction of your vision. That means, as long as your eyes can see it, your feet will take you there! So dream BIG.
As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, his feet walked on water’ but as soon as he “considered (meditated on) the waves, he took his eyes off his picture (Jesus) and put his eyes on the water, what happened? He began to sink. What are your eyes focused on?
START small:
As lofty and impressive as the oak tree is, it didn’t just appear as a full grown tree, it began as a seed. Every great dream or business began as a seed. Take time out to count the cost. Ask yourself, “what is my business?”, “who are my customers?”, “how much do they earn?”, “where are they located?”, “I am the solution, what is their problem?” etc. Answer those questions.
Next, you’ve got to find a mentor who is the best in the field you wish to flourish in and SERVE him. Humble yourself to learn from the best.
When I decided to become one of the world’s most sought after speakers and management consultants, I went to serve (for free, I might add), a man whom I recognized as the leader in both fields, Fela Durotoye. 3 years on, I’m still serving (getting paid…very well, I might add) and my present’s brighter than I ever imagined. Because he is a picture of my future, and I’m privileged to stand on the shoulders of a giant, guess what happens?… I stand tall.
These days, I get the privilege to speak on behalf of and with Fela Durotoye at some incredible events, why? Because he’s trained me and trusts that I would deliver just as he would.
Too many young people want to be their own boss, but think that serving someone is a waste of time. Experience is NOT the best teacher; other people’s experience is the best teacher!Don’t argue, start small, get a mentor.
To be the best, you gotta learn from the best.
Grow FAST:
Once you’ve learned the secrets and tools of the trade, you’ve gotta grow fast. To do this, there are 4 principles:
• Make more money:
people don’t buy products, they buy solutions!
• Save more money:
you’ve got to make it easy for your customers to get value for the solutions you provide.
• Grow your market share:
increase the reach and range of your business.
• Grow your brand:
you’ve gotta be known as a solution to ONE thing. e.g. Basketball (Jordan), Golf (Tiger Woods), Free Kicks (Beckham), Computers (Bill Gates)
Question is, what ONE thing will you be known for? Find it and master it!
I’m certain that as you apply these principles, you will have a fiscally fulfilling, 2009.
What are you waiting for?
Your future starts NOW!
SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group of Visible Impact Limited; a highly sought after motivational / inspirational, business speaker and strategist.
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng
BUSINESS for BEGINNERS
It’s a Great day!
It’s the month of February, the love month. With the months ticking away, and the rest pregnant with immense possibilities, I thought it would be nice to share certain tips to guarantee your business success in 2009.
As young people, we’re prone to adrenaline rushes of great ideas, “instant millionaire schemes”…certain to make us the “next BIG thing”, but after a while, the flame flickers, dies or if we’re lucky, we carry on as planned, only to incur massive debt, regret and lots of “had I knowns”.
So what must you do to hit your ultimate business goal in ’08? Well, I’m glad you asked.
There are 3 basic rules of business success:
Dream BIG:
You are the only limit to your imagination. Ask yourself, “What would I achieve if I could NOT fail” and then write it down. Visualize your dream, because you cannot feature in a future that you do not picture! What do you see? Look at your feet, what do you notice? They are pointed in the direction of your vision. That means, as long as your eyes can see it, your feet will take you there! So dream BIG.
As long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, his feet walked on water’ but as soon as he “considered (meditated on) the waves, he took his eyes off his picture (Jesus) and put his eyes on the water, what happened? He began to sink. What are your eyes focused on?
START small:
As lofty and impressive as the oak tree is, it didn’t just appear as a full grown tree, it began as a seed. Every great dream or business began as a seed. Take time out to count the cost. Ask yourself, “what is my business?”, “who are my customers?”, “how much do they earn?”, “where are they located?”, “I am the solution, what is their problem?” etc. Answer those questions.
Next, you’ve got to find a mentor who is the best in the field you wish to flourish in and SERVE him. Humble yourself to learn from the best.
When I decided to become one of the world’s most sought after speakers and management consultants, I went to serve (for free, I might add), a man whom I recognized as the leader in both fields, Fela Durotoye. 3 years on, I’m still serving (getting paid…very well, I might add) and my present’s brighter than I ever imagined. Because he is a picture of my future, and I’m privileged to stand on the shoulders of a giant, guess what happens?… I stand tall.
These days, I get the privilege to speak on behalf of and with Fela Durotoye at some incredible events, why? Because he’s trained me and trusts that I would deliver just as he would.
Too many young people want to be their own boss, but think that serving someone is a waste of time. Experience is NOT the best teacher; other people’s experience is the best teacher!Don’t argue, start small, get a mentor.
To be the best, you gotta learn from the best.
Grow FAST:
Once you’ve learned the secrets and tools of the trade, you’ve gotta grow fast. To do this, there are 4 principles:
• Make more money:
people don’t buy products, they buy solutions!
• Save more money:
you’ve got to make it easy for your customers to get value for the solutions you provide.
• Grow your market share:
increase the reach and range of your business.
• Grow your brand:
you’ve gotta be known as a solution to ONE thing. e.g. Basketball (Jordan), Golf (Tiger Woods), Free Kicks (Beckham), Computers (Bill Gates)
Question is, what ONE thing will you be known for? Find it and master it!
I’m certain that as you apply these principles, you will have a fiscally fulfilling, 2009.
What are you waiting for?
Your future starts NOW!
SteveHARRIS is the Head, Consulting Group of Visible Impact Limited; a highly sought after motivational / inspirational, business speaker and strategist.
steveharris@visibleimpact.com.ng
February 11, 2009
and I felt a hole in my soul...aaghhh it was scarry!
At the beginning of this year something weird happened. I would wake up in the morning just feeling empty. Let me explain. I would feel like there was a hole right inside me. It was the first feeling of awareness that would hit me when i stirred awake. It was scarry but it was there. Something felt missing . It was so bad that after work i dreaded the idea of coming home where the volume of activity would be turned down and without the noise i would be forced to face the “hollowness”! It was not normal and i hoped it would go away. What worried me the most was that hollow spaces have the capacity to attract whatever would fill them and i was unsettled by the thought that this void would find a way to fill itself with something whether it was of my own choosing or not.
The first time i wrote about it was in the omonaikee diaries. My entry on the 7th of January in my journal sounded melancholy where i said;
” Yesterday on my way up the stairs i remembered i was going back to that feeling and suddenly didn’t want to stay at home. This has got to stop... i dont know what it is... i dont like how i feel”.
It was only a week ago i realised what my experience meant and i’ve shared it with a small group of fifteen people since then. Because i’ve told already i feel a little less burdened by it’s message but i’m making the effort to muster the words to retell it here; salvaging every emotion i experienced then from the depths of memory. I have never felt such intense emptiness before! I realise now that God let me feel for a minute in time the void inside me that he fills. The prelude to this account is that i had been studying my bible and while being an act of obedience i wasn’t doing it consistently. In Rick warren’s the purpose driven life he talks about complete and exact obedience. He says “often we try to offer God partial obedience” and God was teaching me that, that cheap way and cheat way of obeying him would not fly anymore.
I had also been praying everyday but not commitedly. Some days it would be a two minute mumble just before i stepped out of the door in which case i’d be one foot outside before some fearful thought would make me scoop my legs off the hallway and retrace them hurriedly into my room to bribe God with a minute of my attention in exchange for a safe and sane day( God de suffer o!). Other days i would pray with a wandering mind and my prayers would trail off into my agenda and plans for the day.Then there would come the ‘fired up on the mountain” days when i would pray till my heart’s peace. My spirit man must have been constipated! Those are not the kind of prayer and bible study habits that would make God entrust you with anything let alone his presence and he stepped back for a whole month and let me feel what he fills. I dont ever want to feel like that again! EVER!
He let me feel first hand the effect of my inconsistent fellowship with him. I felt like He was saying: “Nike your inconsistent bible study wont cut it anymore, your shoddy 5 minute prayers i won”t take anymore. If you want me in your life then step up ”. He may be saying the same thing to you.
“Take more responsibility son, step up, come hither!”
My altar lacked order. I didn’t have a compass to direct my bible reading and for someone who was reading four chapters of the bible a day at age 8 , i should know you need a study plan to help you master inconsistency. I’m going to share some tips from my discipleship training school classes on bible study, they were a checklist for me to work my way back into the seeking most and seeking first the kingdom.
1.Ask God in prayer to open your eyes to see in your bible practical things that make sense to you.
2.Get a bible you understand or like.
Suggestions : The best bible version to choose is the one you understand. The New living version adds simplicity to every verse, it’s like reading your friends journal; The Goodnews version is down to earth; The Amplified version is like reading prose or poetry, it’s lyrical and you pause to marvel at the “phraseology”; The message bible is like being in a radical, charismatic ,christian youth camp. In the pages you can almost see a crazy youth pastor reading it to you with his tinted corn rows and his jeans and Ts probably sporting a crazy slogan like God rocks, if you dont think so you suck!!!.LOL. I just got one and it’s a good reference bible.
3. Find the right tme and place and keep a date every morning.
4. Have a plan. A bible reading plan helps. A daily devotional can do a lot to keep you from wandering aimlessly through a blur of chapters. A prayer plan helps too. A good heuristic is thank him –praise him- ask him- thank him again.
5.Expect to hear from God and keep pen and paper ready to put down the valuable insights He shows you.
6. Do and tell. Do what the bible says and tell somebody else about what God is doing in your life.
Now back to the story. A few days ago, again from the pages of my journal , i wrote :
” this morning i woke up with a desire to do my devotions on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get down to it! Just the awareness of that special feeling was a delight to my soul...”
Once again like i recorded in “memoirs of a different kind” (in my post titled: ”who let the girls out” posted on the 17th of december here), I feel restored back into God’s favour and tended by His approval. I pray for everyone reading this who walks around feeling “hollow” . Pick up from where you left off, commit to a time and keep it. Fashion a bible study plan and work it. Nothing may happen at first but keep at it and that very act of faith will create, enlarge and expand room in your heart for God to live in and room in your mind for his word to fill. When you give him room in your time you’re giving him room in your life.
PS
I usually don’t like sounding spiritual, it’s a social risk i tell ya!Plus i would usually run from them preachy types hmmmmnnn, Hope you endured it though! Mwah!
The first time i wrote about it was in the omonaikee diaries. My entry on the 7th of January in my journal sounded melancholy where i said;
” Yesterday on my way up the stairs i remembered i was going back to that feeling and suddenly didn’t want to stay at home. This has got to stop... i dont know what it is... i dont like how i feel”.
It was only a week ago i realised what my experience meant and i’ve shared it with a small group of fifteen people since then. Because i’ve told already i feel a little less burdened by it’s message but i’m making the effort to muster the words to retell it here; salvaging every emotion i experienced then from the depths of memory. I have never felt such intense emptiness before! I realise now that God let me feel for a minute in time the void inside me that he fills. The prelude to this account is that i had been studying my bible and while being an act of obedience i wasn’t doing it consistently. In Rick warren’s the purpose driven life he talks about complete and exact obedience. He says “often we try to offer God partial obedience” and God was teaching me that, that cheap way and cheat way of obeying him would not fly anymore.
I had also been praying everyday but not commitedly. Some days it would be a two minute mumble just before i stepped out of the door in which case i’d be one foot outside before some fearful thought would make me scoop my legs off the hallway and retrace them hurriedly into my room to bribe God with a minute of my attention in exchange for a safe and sane day( God de suffer o!). Other days i would pray with a wandering mind and my prayers would trail off into my agenda and plans for the day.Then there would come the ‘fired up on the mountain” days when i would pray till my heart’s peace. My spirit man must have been constipated! Those are not the kind of prayer and bible study habits that would make God entrust you with anything let alone his presence and he stepped back for a whole month and let me feel what he fills. I dont ever want to feel like that again! EVER!
He let me feel first hand the effect of my inconsistent fellowship with him. I felt like He was saying: “Nike your inconsistent bible study wont cut it anymore, your shoddy 5 minute prayers i won”t take anymore. If you want me in your life then step up ”. He may be saying the same thing to you.
“Take more responsibility son, step up, come hither!”
My altar lacked order. I didn’t have a compass to direct my bible reading and for someone who was reading four chapters of the bible a day at age 8 , i should know you need a study plan to help you master inconsistency. I’m going to share some tips from my discipleship training school classes on bible study, they were a checklist for me to work my way back into the seeking most and seeking first the kingdom.
1.Ask God in prayer to open your eyes to see in your bible practical things that make sense to you.
2.Get a bible you understand or like.
Suggestions : The best bible version to choose is the one you understand. The New living version adds simplicity to every verse, it’s like reading your friends journal; The Goodnews version is down to earth; The Amplified version is like reading prose or poetry, it’s lyrical and you pause to marvel at the “phraseology”; The message bible is like being in a radical, charismatic ,christian youth camp. In the pages you can almost see a crazy youth pastor reading it to you with his tinted corn rows and his jeans and Ts probably sporting a crazy slogan like God rocks, if you dont think so you suck!!!.LOL. I just got one and it’s a good reference bible.
3. Find the right tme and place and keep a date every morning.
4. Have a plan. A bible reading plan helps. A daily devotional can do a lot to keep you from wandering aimlessly through a blur of chapters. A prayer plan helps too. A good heuristic is thank him –praise him- ask him- thank him again.
5.Expect to hear from God and keep pen and paper ready to put down the valuable insights He shows you.
6. Do and tell. Do what the bible says and tell somebody else about what God is doing in your life.
Now back to the story. A few days ago, again from the pages of my journal , i wrote :
” this morning i woke up with a desire to do my devotions on my mind. I couldn’t wait to get down to it! Just the awareness of that special feeling was a delight to my soul...”
Once again like i recorded in “memoirs of a different kind” (in my post titled: ”who let the girls out” posted on the 17th of december here), I feel restored back into God’s favour and tended by His approval. I pray for everyone reading this who walks around feeling “hollow” . Pick up from where you left off, commit to a time and keep it. Fashion a bible study plan and work it. Nothing may happen at first but keep at it and that very act of faith will create, enlarge and expand room in your heart for God to live in and room in your mind for his word to fill. When you give him room in your time you’re giving him room in your life.
PS
I usually don’t like sounding spiritual, it’s a social risk i tell ya!Plus i would usually run from them preachy types hmmmmnnn, Hope you endured it though! Mwah!
January 27, 2009
Picking a man is like shopping for a dress!
I always say picking a man is like buying an item of clothing. You walk into a store that has rows and rows of clothes in every size, style, fabric and colour. Each one sporting it’s own price tag. Each one creating a unique interaction with your feelings. Then there’s the shop assistant, armed and at the ready to sell you anything and everything your fluttering eyes repose on. But with years of shopping and of hearing remarks from your friends and foes, and with those indelible memories of previous wardrobe accidents , your practiced instincts remind you of your specs and you keep to form, buying only what fits your build,matches your emotional disposition and accentuates your gifts(hmmm!). At that point you’re a buyer who knows what you want. You just go for it when you see it.You know what fits you.
It’s the same science really whether you’re shopping for a man or a cute number. No offense guys but that’s the way i see it. I just hope y’all will indulge me while i explore the thought. There’s always a dress in the shop that is meant for you. That one that you think to yourself after you’ve snagged it: “what a find!".It looks right, fits right and feeeeels right!
I actually related the same analogy to one of my platonic boyfriends . Boy, it sparked good conversation! We had been trading stories and the conversation steered itself to shirts, well in his case, dresses and other prospecting merchandise( now i’m about to get into trouble). The question was; if you know your shirt and he (sorry it) doesn’t notice you, would you go for it? You know what i said? I said why not? (OMG girl, that was said like a big spender!). Now I know what they say about finding and being found and i totally agree BUT i’m only saying if it gives a perfect fit, and it’s hanging idly and unclaimed in that store paying you none to minimal attention, then get into it’s space or at least ask the shop keeper about it! Hallelujah!
I know GF(girl friend) is going to kill me when she reads this but will someone let me tell it as it is?
“if it’s yours it will come to you” ,
that’s true but ain’t nothing wrong with helping it along! Can i get a witness! You might want to get your charm on, smile some and shine teeth!(Nike, you’re totally shameless!).Erhm, somebody stop me before i get into more trouble!
A word of caution. Slow and subtle wins the race here cos you don’t want the shirt to know prematurely ( might ruin the negotiation!).The first commandment is don’t get caught trying.The second commandment is don’t take another sistas shirt.(Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you?).
I should warn you too that there’s the kind of shirt to pass up on. Those stiff- necked and stuffy shirts, all starched up and aloof, so emotionally wound up tight that the coyest smile would fall flat in thin air before it got through! Lord help the sista who falls for that kind of shirt. Armed so it can’t be disarmed! Lordavmarcy!!! There’s also the slacked shirt. It’s the “slacker” brand of T-shirts. If you have a taste for them you probably always find yourself stuck between the friend zone and the promised land of romantic bliss. It’s a yo-yo relationship but that’s for another day.
One more thing. An experienced shopper goes for the best buy at the right price. Neither overrated and pricey nor undervalued and cheap! I always feel a lift after a day of shopping when i’m taking home the bounty knowing it was the best buy and i got it at the best price. I feel proud it's money well spent. Mmmhh just talking about it puts me in the mode for shopping (don’t ask what i’ll be shopping for!). Lastly, while an experienced shopper has a knack for picking the shirt that makes her look like a million dollars in it, it is an expert shopper who makes the shirt think she never had an eye on it in the first place!(Chuckles).
Don’t ask me if i’m talking from experience, I already feel like i confessed to a hideous crime on this post! Ah, the things i do for writing a good piece! Hope you enjoyed it.So long!
P.S
What would you do to get the attention of a dress or shirt who doesn’t know you exist?
It’s the same science really whether you’re shopping for a man or a cute number. No offense guys but that’s the way i see it. I just hope y’all will indulge me while i explore the thought. There’s always a dress in the shop that is meant for you. That one that you think to yourself after you’ve snagged it: “what a find!".It looks right, fits right and feeeeels right!
I actually related the same analogy to one of my platonic boyfriends . Boy, it sparked good conversation! We had been trading stories and the conversation steered itself to shirts, well in his case, dresses and other prospecting merchandise( now i’m about to get into trouble). The question was; if you know your shirt and he (sorry it) doesn’t notice you, would you go for it? You know what i said? I said why not? (OMG girl, that was said like a big spender!). Now I know what they say about finding and being found and i totally agree BUT i’m only saying if it gives a perfect fit, and it’s hanging idly and unclaimed in that store paying you none to minimal attention, then get into it’s space or at least ask the shop keeper about it! Hallelujah!
I know GF(girl friend) is going to kill me when she reads this but will someone let me tell it as it is?
“if it’s yours it will come to you” ,
that’s true but ain’t nothing wrong with helping it along! Can i get a witness! You might want to get your charm on, smile some and shine teeth!(Nike, you’re totally shameless!).Erhm, somebody stop me before i get into more trouble!
A word of caution. Slow and subtle wins the race here cos you don’t want the shirt to know prematurely ( might ruin the negotiation!).The first commandment is don’t get caught trying.The second commandment is don’t take another sistas shirt.(Why would you do that? What’s wrong with you?).
I should warn you too that there’s the kind of shirt to pass up on. Those stiff- necked and stuffy shirts, all starched up and aloof, so emotionally wound up tight that the coyest smile would fall flat in thin air before it got through! Lord help the sista who falls for that kind of shirt. Armed so it can’t be disarmed! Lordavmarcy!!! There’s also the slacked shirt. It’s the “slacker” brand of T-shirts. If you have a taste for them you probably always find yourself stuck between the friend zone and the promised land of romantic bliss. It’s a yo-yo relationship but that’s for another day.
One more thing. An experienced shopper goes for the best buy at the right price. Neither overrated and pricey nor undervalued and cheap! I always feel a lift after a day of shopping when i’m taking home the bounty knowing it was the best buy and i got it at the best price. I feel proud it's money well spent. Mmmhh just talking about it puts me in the mode for shopping (don’t ask what i’ll be shopping for!). Lastly, while an experienced shopper has a knack for picking the shirt that makes her look like a million dollars in it, it is an expert shopper who makes the shirt think she never had an eye on it in the first place!(Chuckles).
Don’t ask me if i’m talking from experience, I already feel like i confessed to a hideous crime on this post! Ah, the things i do for writing a good piece! Hope you enjoyed it.So long!
P.S
What would you do to get the attention of a dress or shirt who doesn’t know you exist?
January 03, 2009
2000&mine
We made it. It’s the year 2009 baby! Another year newly opened and we have all been ushered through it. A fertile year to sow with the promise that we will be fruitful! A fresh alotment of time! Another 365 days! Somebody say this to yourself: “Whatever i missed in 2000 and great will be mine in 2000 and mine”. Amen to that. Let it be so indeed!
This year i’ve made some commitments to God. I had such a blast experiencing him last year i want more, so i’m taking a step closer. I pray that God would place such a desire for His presence in your life this year that you’d marvel at yourself... you know how you used to turn a suspicious eye on those people who always seem to be God this and God that.. .well get ready, you just got biten by that bug! (LOL!)
Happy new year... then the shofar blew!
As the curtains of 2008 were drawing to a close, i searched in the layers of my heart trying to guage the faintest feelings, premonitions, impressions e.t.c. My radar didn’t catch any feelings of consequence about the year so i abandoned feeling my way through. Then i looked out for some kind of prompting in my spirit, some sixth- sense, in- your- gut feeling of what the year would be but the problem was there was no time. No room to focus, no quietude to retreat to and it was almost 2009! By the last day of the year and of my quest i’d given up on “trying” and was only hoping to steal some time to at least process and file away the themed and random thoughts piling in my mind and lay out all my hopes before God for 2009. I took solace in that. I was prepared.
Cross over night was going to be in church by habit. It had always been so would continue to be. Even when i caught wind of parties that promised to be too hot to miss, i dismissed them without much thought. At 10pm, i dragged my sleepy body to church still half surprised that i had actually gone to work on new year’s eve. Once there, the music and the expectant atmospere took over and i gyrated along. Very meaningful prayers were made for different groups of people and when the cordinator raised a prayer for the youths i stood in agreement under it’s covering. The rest of the night was spent in activities but everyone anticipated the final minutes that would birth the new year. At the opportune time, the leader came up to explain the special way in which the year would be welcomed into this world. She refferred to the time in Isreal when the Medianites oppressed Isreal and God won them a great victory with only 300 men blowing on ram horn trumpets called shofars. She said we were going to usher God’s presence into the year to the sound of the shofars. I took the ritual in with excitement that i was experiencing something both unique and new. So we enshrouded the year with God’s presence and escorted the first breaths of the newly born year with the blast of the shofars. At the last blast we let out a loud shout for God has given us victory in 2009. What a powerfully symbolic countdown it was?
New year resolutions
Are they still common practice? What are the most silly ones you’ve ever made? I stopped making them a long time ago, but i keep goals as benchmarks i want to achieve every year, one of them is updating this blog more frequently....well folks do have a fruitful year!
PS
January’s edition of “Hanging out with Harris” is coming soon. You don’t want to miss it! Stay logged on to this site!
We made it. It’s the year 2009 baby! Another year newly opened and we have all been ushered through it. A fertile year to sow with the promise that we will be fruitful! A fresh alotment of time! Another 365 days! Somebody say this to yourself: “Whatever i missed in 2000 and great will be mine in 2000 and mine”. Amen to that. Let it be so indeed!
This year i’ve made some commitments to God. I had such a blast experiencing him last year i want more, so i’m taking a step closer. I pray that God would place such a desire for His presence in your life this year that you’d marvel at yourself... you know how you used to turn a suspicious eye on those people who always seem to be God this and God that.. .well get ready, you just got biten by that bug! (LOL!)
Happy new year... then the shofar blew!
As the curtains of 2008 were drawing to a close, i searched in the layers of my heart trying to guage the faintest feelings, premonitions, impressions e.t.c. My radar didn’t catch any feelings of consequence about the year so i abandoned feeling my way through. Then i looked out for some kind of prompting in my spirit, some sixth- sense, in- your- gut feeling of what the year would be but the problem was there was no time. No room to focus, no quietude to retreat to and it was almost 2009! By the last day of the year and of my quest i’d given up on “trying” and was only hoping to steal some time to at least process and file away the themed and random thoughts piling in my mind and lay out all my hopes before God for 2009. I took solace in that. I was prepared.
Cross over night was going to be in church by habit. It had always been so would continue to be. Even when i caught wind of parties that promised to be too hot to miss, i dismissed them without much thought. At 10pm, i dragged my sleepy body to church still half surprised that i had actually gone to work on new year’s eve. Once there, the music and the expectant atmospere took over and i gyrated along. Very meaningful prayers were made for different groups of people and when the cordinator raised a prayer for the youths i stood in agreement under it’s covering. The rest of the night was spent in activities but everyone anticipated the final minutes that would birth the new year. At the opportune time, the leader came up to explain the special way in which the year would be welcomed into this world. She refferred to the time in Isreal when the Medianites oppressed Isreal and God won them a great victory with only 300 men blowing on ram horn trumpets called shofars. She said we were going to usher God’s presence into the year to the sound of the shofars. I took the ritual in with excitement that i was experiencing something both unique and new. So we enshrouded the year with God’s presence and escorted the first breaths of the newly born year with the blast of the shofars. At the last blast we let out a loud shout for God has given us victory in 2009. What a powerfully symbolic countdown it was?
New year resolutions
Are they still common practice? What are the most silly ones you’ve ever made? I stopped making them a long time ago, but i keep goals as benchmarks i want to achieve every year, one of them is updating this blog more frequently....well folks do have a fruitful year!
PS
January’s edition of “Hanging out with Harris” is coming soon. You don’t want to miss it! Stay logged on to this site!
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