From the time i was little, i have been attracted to things that sparkle in the light. I remember how i used to pick up beads, colored embellishments, sequins, even sweet wraps, stones and pieces of glass. I pretended they where precious stones and i was a princess. They were my wardrobe for my princess diary fantasies. So today when i insist a tailored dress must come fully embellished with stones and shiny things my mum just laughs whimsically reminiscing my wee days when i waited for the studs on her shoes to fall off, ran after the colored stones on her laces, or pretended to be her wearing her jewelry!
Well i guess old habits die hard because when i enter a jewelry store i catch fever just looking from one show glass to the next. The large cocktail rings, the bracelets, the beaded and chain neck pieces, the studded belts, and tasty ear pieces leave my throat dry. A colleague who once witnessed my fidgeting was totally bewildered. He said commenting on the incident later, that i was literary shaking! I have since earned the names Esmeralda , Bedazzled and Sparklerella from my girlfriend who teases me whenever i make an appearance with a new piece for my jewelry collection. Yes i like all that glitters, gold or not!
But now to the good stuff....
The idea of 2010 was hard for me to capture even 2-3 years ago because it looked like a major milestone from Y2K, but 2010 has come and is passing and i thought i should write something to remind us about the goals we made at the beginning of the year.
Sometimes in the pursuit of our goals we ourselves could be the stumbling blocks - now i don’t mean we physically do things to hurt or hinder our progress but i refer to our thoughts where we can think up the obstacles of fear, dig pits of discouragement or blot out the light of hope with doubt. The enemy within is a mind full of disempowering beliefs, negative emotions and negative thoughts.
A negative thought is that line of discussion you have with yourself that drains your energy and keeps you from moving forward toward a solution or a desired result.”They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless” says Author James Allen about thoughts like doubt and fear in his book, As a man thinketh. A mind assailed by self doubt and/or crippling fears doesn’t believe in itself. These thoughts of inability or weakness lead to failure.
Wouldn’t it be ironical to expend physical effort to attain a goal and at the same time continue to frustrate it’s accomplishment by entertaining thoughts and phobias, attitudes and habits which do not harmonize with what you want and desire? James Allen writes “ As the physically weak man can make himself strong so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong”. Personally i read my bible every day because it is a repository of positive thoughts and right attitudes that attract success. The general idea is to align your dominant thoughts with the attainment of the goals you are externally striving to achieve.
You are most certainly not your moment of weakness or your experience of failure. You are not your weakness, YOU are your strengths put together. Rehearsing poor thoughts won’t give you a sense of power but a sense of failure and inadequacy. There’s more to define our capability than mistakes we’ve made. There’s more to show our strength than the trials that have defeated us. We are people with ability to do and to change and that’s the kind of thinking that should be in a mind that has become friends with itself and its goals.
So there... as the year faithfully ticks away fulfilling its allotment of days, i hope someone reading this also ticks off as done this year’s allotment of goals!
November 14, 2010
November 07, 2010
Eka’s bridal shower
Eka is the modern day Florence Nightingale with a Monalisa smile. She’s quite the girl next door so when the girls asked me to be the emcee at her bridal shower, i knew it would be a sensible evening. Bridal showers these days turn into wild parties crawling with good girls anxious to get bad. The game of “truth or dare” is quite a favorite, because you can get away with asking a total stranger their dirty secrets or with taunting a friend into confessing a surreptitious tryst. Wresting truth from unwilling lips gets more entertaining when a girl chooses a dare. When this happens, her “questioner” becomes the evil stepsister, daring her to an embarrasing task with a penalty. But knowing our bride -to- be, we suspected she would exorcise her guests of such schoolgirl antics if we dared them.
We realised there would be different classes of women; single, dating, engaged, and married. It could be an opportunity to trade life’s recipes and hand down ageless secrets, woman to woman. So began the best bridal shower i ever attended. We spent our time asking questions, sharing experiences and trading lessons. The single girls wanted to know the challenges of their married friends. Everybody wanted to know how Eka met Mr Right.
We spent an especially long time resolving one girl’s concern about sex before marriage. I was alarmed when i realized how little the younger girls knew. While they had been told sex outside the nurturing environment of a marriage relationship was wrong, nobody had ever told them why. Even those who thought it was wrong based on religion, could not back their religious beliefs with personal conviction. There was a brief arguement then but Eka punctuated it from a biblical standpoint that fornication is a sin and God’s way is abstainance. For a minute we forgot it was a bridal shower not a women’s conference.
We tackled the myth that if a girl didn’t have “work experience”, a man wouldn’t want her but which man likes to know someone has had you before he married you? I wondered if those who peddled these ideas would be happy to teach it to their sisters. We agreed that if it wasn’t good for the sisters it definately wasn’t good for the girlfriends. One undergrad student was scared her boyfriend would leave her if she didn’t give in. If he really loves you he wont ask you to do something you don’t want to or threaten to leave you because you didn’t let him have his way. But what if you’re sure you’ll marry him?
To help the girls we did an exercise called “Getting motivated by the fear of consequences”. We explored all the possible effects of dating with “benefits”. We considered every angle including how it could affect the ladies emotionally and spiritually. We also explored hypothetical scenarios, like what could happen if they were found out by someone who would be dissappointed in them or if they realised it wasn’t love but he just wanted to get in their pants or if he dumped them for another girl or if they ended up marrying someone else. Here, i observed that every one seemed to know a tale about some friend whose freedom of expression later caught up with her in married life. By the end of the exercise, we noticed that while getting pregnant was a common item on their lists, getting dumped and contracting a disease were some of the most feared consequences.
Just before the food was put away and the dancing began, every woman in the house gave the bride -to- be a piece of advice. Each woman gave freely from her experience. It was all heart felt, Eka cried. Many days later, i still cherish the bond of sisterhood formed from laughter loaned and tears borrowed at Eka’s bridal shower.
We realised there would be different classes of women; single, dating, engaged, and married. It could be an opportunity to trade life’s recipes and hand down ageless secrets, woman to woman. So began the best bridal shower i ever attended. We spent our time asking questions, sharing experiences and trading lessons. The single girls wanted to know the challenges of their married friends. Everybody wanted to know how Eka met Mr Right.
We spent an especially long time resolving one girl’s concern about sex before marriage. I was alarmed when i realized how little the younger girls knew. While they had been told sex outside the nurturing environment of a marriage relationship was wrong, nobody had ever told them why. Even those who thought it was wrong based on religion, could not back their religious beliefs with personal conviction. There was a brief arguement then but Eka punctuated it from a biblical standpoint that fornication is a sin and God’s way is abstainance. For a minute we forgot it was a bridal shower not a women’s conference.
We tackled the myth that if a girl didn’t have “work experience”, a man wouldn’t want her but which man likes to know someone has had you before he married you? I wondered if those who peddled these ideas would be happy to teach it to their sisters. We agreed that if it wasn’t good for the sisters it definately wasn’t good for the girlfriends. One undergrad student was scared her boyfriend would leave her if she didn’t give in. If he really loves you he wont ask you to do something you don’t want to or threaten to leave you because you didn’t let him have his way. But what if you’re sure you’ll marry him?
To help the girls we did an exercise called “Getting motivated by the fear of consequences”. We explored all the possible effects of dating with “benefits”. We considered every angle including how it could affect the ladies emotionally and spiritually. We also explored hypothetical scenarios, like what could happen if they were found out by someone who would be dissappointed in them or if they realised it wasn’t love but he just wanted to get in their pants or if he dumped them for another girl or if they ended up marrying someone else. Here, i observed that every one seemed to know a tale about some friend whose freedom of expression later caught up with her in married life. By the end of the exercise, we noticed that while getting pregnant was a common item on their lists, getting dumped and contracting a disease were some of the most feared consequences.
Just before the food was put away and the dancing began, every woman in the house gave the bride -to- be a piece of advice. Each woman gave freely from her experience. It was all heart felt, Eka cried. Many days later, i still cherish the bond of sisterhood formed from laughter loaned and tears borrowed at Eka’s bridal shower.
October 29, 2010
THE TWOFOLD BLESSING.
I had another encounter recently with Mr Joel Osteen (remember my post about our first encounter?), let me tell you what happened. I was attending this conference and was quickly reminded that those things are seldom fun. Right about the time i was getting bored with my sorroundings and looking for a distraction from my distraction of choice, Mr Osteen showed like a good fairy godmother (er erhm , i beg your pardon Mister Osteen!). He was sitting on the rugged shelves of a book stand! Of course, he was smiling like he usually does, and wearing a black suit. It’s true! We (Mr J. Osteen and me that is) quickly got to talking, and he started telling me all this good stuff about “Becoming a better you”! This was just the sort of thing i needed to hear so after the conference i took me, my tired body and Mr Osteen back home ( erhm ... i didn’t think Mrs Osteen would mind very much) LOL
Anyways, “Becoming a better you” is a great book by J. Osteen which i am reading at the moment!
THE GOOD STUFF
I want to share something i learnt this year from my bible study. I call it the twofold blessing or the law of compensation. Read with me...
“Instead of your former shame, you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonour and reproach your people shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double what they had forfeited and everlasting joy shall be theirs” Isaiah 61: 7, AMP.
I first found out about the compensating blessing of God when i read that scripture but i didnt know what the two – fold recompense meant. I only knew from checking the dictionary that recompense means “ to give compensation to somebody for an injury or loss “ . On the authority of that word, i knew i could lay claim to a twofold compensation if i had an area of injury ( shame, dishonour, reproach e.t.c) or loss ( forfeited rights, with held dues, deprived entitlements). I understood that God would make things up to me where i had received undeserved treatment or suffered innocently- that much was clear. I would later find out more.
A few months afterward, i was in church with alot to thank God for when a thought dropped in my spirit;
God restores, then He compensates!
As i thought about it, i remembered Job. I became restless, waiting for the last “amen” so i could race home to check out Jobs experience for myself. I was eager to see if i would find a definate place where it said that God specifically restored then compensated and when i checked i saw the twofold, two-part blessing there!
1. The blessing of Restoration: The blessing that turns the captivity. The blessing that brings a turn about (a turn about is the act of turning completely around in the opposite direction or a shift from one situation to another that is the complete opposite). The blessing of restoration reinstates, reestablishes or restitutes.
2. The blessing of a Double portion: The blessing that doubles, the blessing that gives twice as much as what was before, the double for your trouble blessing, the blessing that attracts honour, brings sympathy and gives comfort and compensation.
Let me show you;
In the book of Job, from the first chapter, Job’s faith was tested (not unlike the trials you and i have in our lives) and in a single day he lost his assets & wealth (7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 females donkeys), and all of his seven sons and three daughters. When God turned about Job’s situation, the book records that God blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. I believe the blessing Job received was the twofold recompense mentioned in Isaiah.
See Job 42: 10
“And the lord (1)turned the captivity of job and restored his fortunes; also the lord(2) gave Job twice as much as he had before.” AMP.
God restored all of Jobs children and every asset he had lost, then he doubled it giving Job 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys. Talk about double for your trouble! The blessing even overflowed to the next generation because Job’s daughters were the fairest girls in the land and although they were women, they received an equal inheritance as their brothers!
“Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.”Isaiah 61: 7. MSG
It also happened for Joseph. When God turned Joseph’s slavery around, he restored his freedom and then he gave him double for his trouble- he took him from the prison to the palace! Wow! When God restores, he compensates; when he reverses captivity, he makes up for lost ground; when he allows you go through the shame and the blame; he allows you to be comforted! He sends a blessing of compensation- the twofold recompense!
He is a God who gives beauty for ashes, strenght for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair! He is a God who turns mourning into dancing! Who binds the broken hearted and heals their wounds! God will make us forget the pain of yesterday! He is a good God! Say with me:
Lord i thank you because i will rejoice in my portion.
Thank you because you will restore whatever i have been deprived of.
Thank you because you will compensate me for everything i have lost.
Thank you because i have double for my trouble. Amen
Anyways, “Becoming a better you” is a great book by J. Osteen which i am reading at the moment!
THE GOOD STUFF
I want to share something i learnt this year from my bible study. I call it the twofold blessing or the law of compensation. Read with me...
“Instead of your former shame, you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonour and reproach your people shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double what they had forfeited and everlasting joy shall be theirs” Isaiah 61: 7, AMP.
I first found out about the compensating blessing of God when i read that scripture but i didnt know what the two – fold recompense meant. I only knew from checking the dictionary that recompense means “ to give compensation to somebody for an injury or loss “ . On the authority of that word, i knew i could lay claim to a twofold compensation if i had an area of injury ( shame, dishonour, reproach e.t.c) or loss ( forfeited rights, with held dues, deprived entitlements). I understood that God would make things up to me where i had received undeserved treatment or suffered innocently- that much was clear. I would later find out more.
A few months afterward, i was in church with alot to thank God for when a thought dropped in my spirit;
God restores, then He compensates!
As i thought about it, i remembered Job. I became restless, waiting for the last “amen” so i could race home to check out Jobs experience for myself. I was eager to see if i would find a definate place where it said that God specifically restored then compensated and when i checked i saw the twofold, two-part blessing there!
1. The blessing of Restoration: The blessing that turns the captivity. The blessing that brings a turn about (a turn about is the act of turning completely around in the opposite direction or a shift from one situation to another that is the complete opposite). The blessing of restoration reinstates, reestablishes or restitutes.
2. The blessing of a Double portion: The blessing that doubles, the blessing that gives twice as much as what was before, the double for your trouble blessing, the blessing that attracts honour, brings sympathy and gives comfort and compensation.
Let me show you;
In the book of Job, from the first chapter, Job’s faith was tested (not unlike the trials you and i have in our lives) and in a single day he lost his assets & wealth (7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 females donkeys), and all of his seven sons and three daughters. When God turned about Job’s situation, the book records that God blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. I believe the blessing Job received was the twofold recompense mentioned in Isaiah.
See Job 42: 10
“And the lord (1)turned the captivity of job and restored his fortunes; also the lord(2) gave Job twice as much as he had before.” AMP.
God restored all of Jobs children and every asset he had lost, then he doubled it giving Job 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys. Talk about double for your trouble! The blessing even overflowed to the next generation because Job’s daughters were the fairest girls in the land and although they were women, they received an equal inheritance as their brothers!
“Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.”Isaiah 61: 7. MSG
It also happened for Joseph. When God turned Joseph’s slavery around, he restored his freedom and then he gave him double for his trouble- he took him from the prison to the palace! Wow! When God restores, he compensates; when he reverses captivity, he makes up for lost ground; when he allows you go through the shame and the blame; he allows you to be comforted! He sends a blessing of compensation- the twofold recompense!
He is a God who gives beauty for ashes, strenght for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair! He is a God who turns mourning into dancing! Who binds the broken hearted and heals their wounds! God will make us forget the pain of yesterday! He is a good God! Say with me:
Lord i thank you because i will rejoice in my portion.
Thank you because you will restore whatever i have been deprived of.
Thank you because you will compensate me for everything i have lost.
Thank you because i have double for my trouble. Amen
October 25, 2010
FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.
FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.
I took another sad look at my blog the other day and decided to do something about the sinking feeling i felt at it’s unupdated status;
Nike, this simply wouldn’t do!
I am a writer, and a writer rights, write?
LOL
Recently, a friend of mine from school invited me to collaborate on his radio project. It’s called Da Music Room and it’s a radio spin off of Nigeria’s first gospel news and music magazine- Imbue Magazine. It would be motivating, uplifting, about music and for young people and hey, it was radio, i couldn’t resist! I and radio have a little history, hmmn now let me see...
Way back in secondary school i was in Press club. I can barely remember any constructive activities back then except the club meetings which were usually dominated by the senior students. I also vividly remember we paid club dues. One day, one of the seniors informed me that i was behind with my dues and she promptly proceeded to total up my indebtedness! When she announced the amount which must have been something in the region of N100- N150, i quickly withdrew my membership , alarmed that that was more than half of my pocket money at the time! LOL! So that was the end of Press club. They were kind enough to give me a certificate of membership to remember them by at graduation though!
I soon transited to University and joined the school’s radio club in my fourth year. It was a short but memorable stay! We ran the affairs of the station by ourselves, developed the programs, and came on air from 4pm everyday. I met other talented young people hungry to try out their raw and sometimes trained talent on the school airwaves. That was fun while it lasted and i met friends who are both in my life and in radio till today (you know who you are fam!).
School done and i moved out of my small town to the big city of real street lights, real cinemas and upwardly mobile people... everything looked big and fascinating! I figured the radio stations would be bigger, the sponsorships better and the guests more accessible and i was right but i had to start at the beaten tracks called NYSC,National Youth Service Corps.
During the weeks at the National Youth Service Corps boot camp, i joined the Orientation Broadcasting Service (OBS) as the Vice President for my batch. I developed programs for our make shift station and ran two of my own. One was a motivational talk and the other was about relationships. On the latter, i and my co – presenter would come up with naughty, pretend relationship problems and ask the other corp members to come up with advice...
’I have a boyfriend outside camp and i have fallen in love with someone here, what do i do?’
Corp members would then write their equally naughty responses and we’d broadcast their comments! It was hilarious! People would actually come into the studio while i was on to see the owner of the voice and i got a lot of complimentary shoutouts from our listeners! lol.
Soon after youth service i did a couple of things on the radio for friends but it would take me another year before i was invited to co- present for Da Music room. It airs in the capital city, Abuja and you can hear yours truly and co –presenter Paulette on Sunday afternoon, for a solid hour from 11pm – 12noon on hot 98.3 Abuja. This collaboration that started out of supporting my friend’s vision has come to be a blessing to me as well!
On a parting note, It’s been one busy year and i almost forgot how to live because of all the doings. BUT, i took time to fall in love with my life again and here’s how, it’s wholesome advice people and it’s all good- ENJOY!
1. EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE
2. CELEBRATE YOUR LITTLE VICTORIES
3. TAKE ADVANTAGES OF OPPORTUNITIES IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT
4. ELIMINATE WORRY
5. PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE
6. WORK ON YOURSELF
7. INVEST IN RELATIONSHIPS
8. SPACE OUT YOUR GOALS
9. HUSTLE WHILE YOU WAIT
10. HELP OTHERS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS
I took another sad look at my blog the other day and decided to do something about the sinking feeling i felt at it’s unupdated status;
Nike, this simply wouldn’t do!
I am a writer, and a writer rights, write?
LOL
Recently, a friend of mine from school invited me to collaborate on his radio project. It’s called Da Music Room and it’s a radio spin off of Nigeria’s first gospel news and music magazine- Imbue Magazine. It would be motivating, uplifting, about music and for young people and hey, it was radio, i couldn’t resist! I and radio have a little history, hmmn now let me see...
Way back in secondary school i was in Press club. I can barely remember any constructive activities back then except the club meetings which were usually dominated by the senior students. I also vividly remember we paid club dues. One day, one of the seniors informed me that i was behind with my dues and she promptly proceeded to total up my indebtedness! When she announced the amount which must have been something in the region of N100- N150, i quickly withdrew my membership , alarmed that that was more than half of my pocket money at the time! LOL! So that was the end of Press club. They were kind enough to give me a certificate of membership to remember them by at graduation though!
I soon transited to University and joined the school’s radio club in my fourth year. It was a short but memorable stay! We ran the affairs of the station by ourselves, developed the programs, and came on air from 4pm everyday. I met other talented young people hungry to try out their raw and sometimes trained talent on the school airwaves. That was fun while it lasted and i met friends who are both in my life and in radio till today (you know who you are fam!).
School done and i moved out of my small town to the big city of real street lights, real cinemas and upwardly mobile people... everything looked big and fascinating! I figured the radio stations would be bigger, the sponsorships better and the guests more accessible and i was right but i had to start at the beaten tracks called NYSC,National Youth Service Corps.
During the weeks at the National Youth Service Corps boot camp, i joined the Orientation Broadcasting Service (OBS) as the Vice President for my batch. I developed programs for our make shift station and ran two of my own. One was a motivational talk and the other was about relationships. On the latter, i and my co – presenter would come up with naughty, pretend relationship problems and ask the other corp members to come up with advice...
’I have a boyfriend outside camp and i have fallen in love with someone here, what do i do?’
Corp members would then write their equally naughty responses and we’d broadcast their comments! It was hilarious! People would actually come into the studio while i was on to see the owner of the voice and i got a lot of complimentary shoutouts from our listeners! lol.
Soon after youth service i did a couple of things on the radio for friends but it would take me another year before i was invited to co- present for Da Music room. It airs in the capital city, Abuja and you can hear yours truly and co –presenter Paulette on Sunday afternoon, for a solid hour from 11pm – 12noon on hot 98.3 Abuja. This collaboration that started out of supporting my friend’s vision has come to be a blessing to me as well!
On a parting note, It’s been one busy year and i almost forgot how to live because of all the doings. BUT, i took time to fall in love with my life again and here’s how, it’s wholesome advice people and it’s all good- ENJOY!
1. EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE
2. CELEBRATE YOUR LITTLE VICTORIES
3. TAKE ADVANTAGES OF OPPORTUNITIES IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT
4. ELIMINATE WORRY
5. PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE
6. WORK ON YOURSELF
7. INVEST IN RELATIONSHIPS
8. SPACE OUT YOUR GOALS
9. HUSTLE WHILE YOU WAIT
10. HELP OTHERS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS
May 23, 2010
BOBO OR BOO?
CONFESSIONS OF A BONDAHOLIC!
If girl- bonding were an art, i think i have perfected it! One of my girlfriends is counting down to her happily-ever-after, and she's been spending the precious remaining threads of her singlehood weaving stronger bonds with the girls and me! In between becoming experts on all things bridal and going over details and more details, we have found time for sisterly chats with the bride to be! Oh! don't worry about what that means, it's just girl -talk for saying we've been shameless busybodies!
I mean whether she is 40 or 22, the announcement of a girl's engagement always meets with a flurry of female, hair-flying, scream- squealing, hand- flapping, totally emotional displays! After the excitement settles, the blushing culprit, who is not just the fiancee and not yet a bride,is put through a gauntlet of questions; ranging from;
"when did you know he was the one?" to " are you scared?".
Then comes the admiration phase. This is when somewhere in the third degree session, this bride-to be suddenly grows from "the girl" of yester- years into a "confident woman" before your very eyes; as if her decision to take this leap of faith, has somehow baptised her into full womanhood. She begins to look like she knows something you, the single woman somehow do not see and that that singular thing makes her superior- makes her sure...set...ready!
"she's no longer on our level o!"
Then there's the last phase, where all your emotions first settle into deep respect for your friend, the conspiracy called love and the marriage instituition,before they finally sediment into a quiet, concealed assurance that if it can happen for one, then it can happen for the other!
oh, I just love happy endings!
wee!
Enuff Nike!
Ok, so i wrote this one about 6 months ago and couldn't think of a better time to share than now, so to all my Nigerian brothers and all the women who love them, this one's for you!
BOBO OR BOO?
If he can pass for a local on the outside but is an “onyibo” on the inside, you can be certain you have an intercontinental Nigerian guy a.k.a boo! You can tell because he doesnt wear “ankara” but always looks spiffy in crisp shirts from next or gap. He probably calls you “baby” and uses intangible pet names like “snugglebunny” to describe you. And yes, he doesnt always get your innuedos and you dont hear everything he says the first time, but when he says “i love you” , you know his is the voice you want to hear first thing when you wake up and last thing before you fall asleep! He knows how to pamper and spoil you and probably gives you flowers, chocolates, perfumes, and designer clothes from his trips abroad. He is quite the gentleman and probably pulls out your chair and opens the door for you. He doesn’t mind that you’re career driven and is quick to support you whether you want to be a doctor or an artist. When he tells you sweet nothings, you blush and giggle because even though you know it’s absolute rubbish, it makes perfect sense!
And if he says “i rove you” when he means “i love you”, then you know you have a naija guy with a local flavour, a.k.a bobo! You may fault his phonetics but there’s plenty to like about this son of the soil. With the right steel in his chest and the perfect pout on his lips, you can’t deny you secretly like his swagger and that almost brash way he talks in naija slang. He probably says stuff like “no long thing” and calls you pet names like “o baby”, “sweetim”or “Nne”, mother because yours reminds him of his mother’s love. He probably takes you to eat “nkwobe” and “isi ewu” and knows where to find the best point and kill joints where you can eat fresh fish. And even though he is not from your home town, he has won your family over and whenever he comes to visit, your siblings know that “big bros” is around. He understands the igbo word- “maintenance moni” and doesnt wait for you to ask but just takes care of it. He buys your recharge cards and doesn’t expect you to spend all of it on him and yes, he’s even man enough to tell you when he’s broke!
Regardless of the tonal inflections of his tribal language on the english language or the cultural imprint of his environment on his behaviour, naija man na naija man! So ladies lets make a toast, shall we, to the Nigerian man.
Naija man wey sabi!
If girl- bonding were an art, i think i have perfected it! One of my girlfriends is counting down to her happily-ever-after, and she's been spending the precious remaining threads of her singlehood weaving stronger bonds with the girls and me! In between becoming experts on all things bridal and going over details and more details, we have found time for sisterly chats with the bride to be! Oh! don't worry about what that means, it's just girl -talk for saying we've been shameless busybodies!
I mean whether she is 40 or 22, the announcement of a girl's engagement always meets with a flurry of female, hair-flying, scream- squealing, hand- flapping, totally emotional displays! After the excitement settles, the blushing culprit, who is not just the fiancee and not yet a bride,is put through a gauntlet of questions; ranging from;
"when did you know he was the one?" to " are you scared?".
Then comes the admiration phase. This is when somewhere in the third degree session, this bride-to be suddenly grows from "the girl" of yester- years into a "confident woman" before your very eyes; as if her decision to take this leap of faith, has somehow baptised her into full womanhood. She begins to look like she knows something you, the single woman somehow do not see and that that singular thing makes her superior- makes her sure...set...ready!
"she's no longer on our level o!"
Then there's the last phase, where all your emotions first settle into deep respect for your friend, the conspiracy called love and the marriage instituition,before they finally sediment into a quiet, concealed assurance that if it can happen for one, then it can happen for the other!
oh, I just love happy endings!
wee!
Enuff Nike!
Ok, so i wrote this one about 6 months ago and couldn't think of a better time to share than now, so to all my Nigerian brothers and all the women who love them, this one's for you!
BOBO OR BOO?
If he can pass for a local on the outside but is an “onyibo” on the inside, you can be certain you have an intercontinental Nigerian guy a.k.a boo! You can tell because he doesnt wear “ankara” but always looks spiffy in crisp shirts from next or gap. He probably calls you “baby” and uses intangible pet names like “snugglebunny” to describe you. And yes, he doesnt always get your innuedos and you dont hear everything he says the first time, but when he says “i love you” , you know his is the voice you want to hear first thing when you wake up and last thing before you fall asleep! He knows how to pamper and spoil you and probably gives you flowers, chocolates, perfumes, and designer clothes from his trips abroad. He is quite the gentleman and probably pulls out your chair and opens the door for you. He doesn’t mind that you’re career driven and is quick to support you whether you want to be a doctor or an artist. When he tells you sweet nothings, you blush and giggle because even though you know it’s absolute rubbish, it makes perfect sense!
And if he says “i rove you” when he means “i love you”, then you know you have a naija guy with a local flavour, a.k.a bobo! You may fault his phonetics but there’s plenty to like about this son of the soil. With the right steel in his chest and the perfect pout on his lips, you can’t deny you secretly like his swagger and that almost brash way he talks in naija slang. He probably says stuff like “no long thing” and calls you pet names like “o baby”, “sweetim”or “Nne”, mother because yours reminds him of his mother’s love. He probably takes you to eat “nkwobe” and “isi ewu” and knows where to find the best point and kill joints where you can eat fresh fish. And even though he is not from your home town, he has won your family over and whenever he comes to visit, your siblings know that “big bros” is around. He understands the igbo word- “maintenance moni” and doesnt wait for you to ask but just takes care of it. He buys your recharge cards and doesn’t expect you to spend all of it on him and yes, he’s even man enough to tell you when he’s broke!
Regardless of the tonal inflections of his tribal language on the english language or the cultural imprint of his environment on his behaviour, naija man na naija man! So ladies lets make a toast, shall we, to the Nigerian man.
Naija man wey sabi!
March 03, 2010
All is fair in love, war... and boarding school?
OK i’m back!
I hadn’t expected my last post would be the last for ‘09 but it turned out that way. It wasn’t a typical case of writer’s block only that my entrepreneurial instincts have been awakened in the last three months and it’s taken every ounce of my creative energy leaving me none to write with. But i’m coming out of my hiatus and catching up with the rest of blogworld so hey everybody, i’m back!
Recently, an old friend contacted me for the first time in almost ten years. I was totally surprised to hear from her and was even more bewildered when i realised why she was getting back in touch. As the story slowly tumbled out, she explained that while we were in school together she had done something to me which i had completely forgotten. It was one of those schoolgirl pranks that didnt matter afterwards and now she was calling ten years later to apologise and restitute. I couldn’t stop myself from tearing up. In the middle of wondering why she hadn’t forgotten what had happened so long ago and of wondering what was causing her sudden need to make it up to me, i couldn’t help thinking of how important it is to mend fences when you can and not be in a position where you have to start looking for someone you’d offended to apologise later. I quickly put her worries to rest and assured her it didnt matter at all. Afterall, all is fair in love, war and boarding school, eh?
His word, His ways and His will.
This year i believe God’s Great help is available to do mighty things. I heard the phrase above early in the year and it very simply amplified for me the direction my quest for God would take. Many of us by reading it and hearing it, know God’s word (the bible) but we do not know God’s ways and are very often totally confused about His will. To know Him intimately, we need to know His word, His ways and His will. Knowing God’s word is only knowing a part of him. The part that speaks. But knowing God’s way is knowing the part that acts. The bible describes God’s ways as being higher than our ways , it also encourages us to observe the way God works and fall in line. God’s ways are intriguing. One of his ways is forgiveness. No matter what we do, God is ready to forgive us. Another one is love. It is in God’s character to love us inspite of what we do and who we are. That’s God. That’s just the way he is. We are called to be like Him in our ways too! When we know God’s word and God’s ways, it will be easy to discern His will.
So my silence has been broken, now i can go to bed... its ten past midnight! But before Zzzzs and before my foray into the land between asleep and awake, let me take out time to brag on another blogger whose blogs i follow, on the launch of her blog series now turned book “in my dreams it was simpler.” Favoured girl’s “ a journey down the aisle” is my favourite of her blogs and it chronicles her experience from her single and dating days up on till her married ones highlighting lessons she’s learnt along the way. She is very bold about her relationship with God and weaves it into all her stories of her human ones. In her blog you meet the lady , her lover and her lord . From blogs to books, she’s taking blogging to a new level! Reminds me of another blogger- Uche Eze of Bella Naija. Big ups ladies!
I totally look forward to the unfolding of two thousand and ten, this is the year for mighty men!
I hadn’t expected my last post would be the last for ‘09 but it turned out that way. It wasn’t a typical case of writer’s block only that my entrepreneurial instincts have been awakened in the last three months and it’s taken every ounce of my creative energy leaving me none to write with. But i’m coming out of my hiatus and catching up with the rest of blogworld so hey everybody, i’m back!
Recently, an old friend contacted me for the first time in almost ten years. I was totally surprised to hear from her and was even more bewildered when i realised why she was getting back in touch. As the story slowly tumbled out, she explained that while we were in school together she had done something to me which i had completely forgotten. It was one of those schoolgirl pranks that didnt matter afterwards and now she was calling ten years later to apologise and restitute. I couldn’t stop myself from tearing up. In the middle of wondering why she hadn’t forgotten what had happened so long ago and of wondering what was causing her sudden need to make it up to me, i couldn’t help thinking of how important it is to mend fences when you can and not be in a position where you have to start looking for someone you’d offended to apologise later. I quickly put her worries to rest and assured her it didnt matter at all. Afterall, all is fair in love, war and boarding school, eh?
His word, His ways and His will.
This year i believe God’s Great help is available to do mighty things. I heard the phrase above early in the year and it very simply amplified for me the direction my quest for God would take. Many of us by reading it and hearing it, know God’s word (the bible) but we do not know God’s ways and are very often totally confused about His will. To know Him intimately, we need to know His word, His ways and His will. Knowing God’s word is only knowing a part of him. The part that speaks. But knowing God’s way is knowing the part that acts. The bible describes God’s ways as being higher than our ways , it also encourages us to observe the way God works and fall in line. God’s ways are intriguing. One of his ways is forgiveness. No matter what we do, God is ready to forgive us. Another one is love. It is in God’s character to love us inspite of what we do and who we are. That’s God. That’s just the way he is. We are called to be like Him in our ways too! When we know God’s word and God’s ways, it will be easy to discern His will.
So my silence has been broken, now i can go to bed... its ten past midnight! But before Zzzzs and before my foray into the land between asleep and awake, let me take out time to brag on another blogger whose blogs i follow, on the launch of her blog series now turned book “in my dreams it was simpler.” Favoured girl’s “ a journey down the aisle” is my favourite of her blogs and it chronicles her experience from her single and dating days up on till her married ones highlighting lessons she’s learnt along the way. She is very bold about her relationship with God and weaves it into all her stories of her human ones. In her blog you meet the lady , her lover and her lord . From blogs to books, she’s taking blogging to a new level! Reminds me of another blogger- Uche Eze of Bella Naija. Big ups ladies!
I totally look forward to the unfolding of two thousand and ten, this is the year for mighty men!
November 29, 2009
Been took home to Mama.
I woke up one harmattan morning knowing my emotions were against me. I was aware of a feeling of sadness that made me just want to cry. I also knew without needing to dig too deep what it was all about. A delightfully dear friend of mine who took a cupid arrow in the heart for me once, and who thankfully is still affectionately disposed to me regardless, had come to visit the day before and we played catch up. Even though we’d been pals a few years, i relished the quality of our friendship as it now stood; never been lovers, twice been friends. He told me all about his career, his forays in business, his writing which we have in common, it’s evolution and of course his love interests ( I’m a hopeless romantic, i never spare my friend’s love lives) . As our talk wore on into the last minutes of conversation, he suddenly said to me, “Nike you are the type to take home to Mama” . His comment didn’t have the usual effect on me, i was lost in thought.
In the first six months of this year life was a breeze. I was ensconced in testimony after testimony, month after month, but as the year stepped into it’s concluding half cycle, i got unlucky in love and had a hurtfull falling out with it. As if hit by a gaint wave, i found myself at the low ebbs of life’s current and literally found myself there. In the whirl of battered emotions, something strange began to happen- my spiritual life had a chance to grow. Humbled by pain, numbed by suffering, i was more open to listen to God. I was so sobered that i wrote in one journal entry:
I’m numb
I have no pride
I have no shame
No tears to cry
No tantrums to throw
I’m no longer looking for a way out
I ‘m not looking for a short cut
I’m just waiting for this cup to pass over me
I’m waiting to be fine again
Interestingly, this year i set for myself the laudable goal to read the entire new testament. My strategy was to read a chapter or two a day. I made this decision in Febraury when i had this unsettling feeling of “hollowness” settle over me. A phenomenum i later recognised as God nudging me in the area of my commitment to a consistent, daily fellowship with him. But about the time of my fall from cloud nine i had slipped into a dull routine. It was all beginning to be a bore and i had started loosing ground and focus. Love-wrecked however, i turned to God again and together, God and i found the way back to solid ground. On the sturdy steps of a rejuvenated relationship with God, my shaken sense of self was centered again and i quickly regained my elasticity (the ability of a thing to return quickly to it’s original shape and size after being bent, stretched or squashed) and pulled back tautly into form. Incidentally too at that time, i miraculously encountered Joel Osteen in his book- “Your best life now”. I know that book was well timed to my exact need of it by the author and orchestrator of love Himself. He loves me so! My awe of God’s timing was heightened when i observed that i would just be experiencing a withdrawal symptom, when the chapter i was reading would be teaching on how to cope with the SPECIFIC thing i was dealing with! I have never before seen that type of synchronicity between real life and a book, but as i concluded chapter after chapter of that book, i literally closed chapters of what has now become a retreating past. This was also when i started journaling the lessons from my daily devotions and curiously, there seems to have been an outstanding theme in all the messages i’d been receiving- messages very relevant to what i was going through. I’d love to share what i’ve been learning but i’ll save that for another post.
Counting blessings; Listing lessons.
One of the things i’m very thankful to God for this year, are ideas. I’ve had so many ideas i’m excited about, ones i think are brilliant. My mind has been alive with them and alert to insights dropped into my very thoughts at odd moments. One of my ideas was to send my article to TRUE LOVE West Africa, it’s one of the articles i featured here in January this year. I was absolutely and pleasantly surprised when the article won a cash prize and was published in the prestigious magazine!
Yay!
So i’m thankful for i-d-e-a-s! I’m also thankful for the amount of information i’ve acquired in both physical and spiritual things. The bible defines a mature, well –rounded christian as someone who has spiritual understanding, see that in one of my fav scriptures of ’09:
“...don’t loose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others”. 2 Peter 1:5-8 The Message/Remix version.
When i found that verse a while ago, i fell in love with the prose. It paints with action words the picture of a seasoned child of God. There is a certain intrigue in the character these words describe, let me show you.
Our basic faith is our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, first as our saviour ( saving us from a damned here and now and a damned hereafter as a direct consequence of sin) and as our Lord ( the one we offer our worship, service and whom we obey). But that’s not all there is to developing our christian status, that’s just the basic not the whole. In addition to being saved and church- going, we should develop good character. This has to do with our morals, integrity and behaivour. Then we should add to that spiritual understanding. This implies that we should acquire a deep, firm, well- founded and resolved understanding of spiritual things. As christians we should be knowledgeable about God, faith , healing, and unworldly things. We should not be left in the dark or be ignorant and unlearned in this area but we should know about them from the bible’s perspective. In addition to that we should develop alert, watchful discipline. This means we should apply a concious control over our lifestyles, values and beliefs. We should then add to that the quality of passionate patience. Isn’t that such a paradox? Patience is the ability to endure waiting or delay or provocation or unpleasant circumstances calmly without becoming angry or upset. And to be passionate in the most watered down, diluted sense means to be willing. So the quality of passionate patience adds up as being willing to endure something difficult with a calm attitude.
Do you already see how beautiful we could be if we were matured christians not just faith speaking, church going, empty ones? I was especially pleased and interested in the next quality.
We, christians are to develop into our persona, reverent wonder. We should develop the sixth sense of wonder. We should be able to see and recognise beauty, the miraculous and the lovely. Christians should exude the charm that comes from the ability to see that a basic beauty permeates things and people. Love for people comes from and is of God, a christian should abound with love for people, affection for others and exuberance about life. These fruits grow out of God’s love for and in us. Added to these traits, a seasoned christian should develop warm friendliness. That’s quite a contrast to our typical gruff, critical or even rude attitudes. People around you and around me should enjoy our warmth. Our friendliness should show itself as helpful, welcoming, tolerant and free of cutthroat competition or mean-spirited conniving. Finally a seasoned christian should show generous love. We should be big hearted, open handed people. Giving in time, in cash and in kind, substantial, sufficient and princely offerings of ourselves .
There aren’t many christians who are a combination of all these traits but the bible explains that each one of these qualities are essential to the development of our basic faith. Most christians stop at being saved, we need to grow. Seasoned with the spices of good character, spiritual understanding, passionate patience and alert discipline and sweetened with the flavours of reverent wonder, warm friendliness, generous love; we can attain the full stature and maturity of our christian transformation. Then will our profession of faith be worth savoring. Then will we be well cooked and suited to our Father’s palate.
Closing ceremony of ’09.
This isn’t my last post for the year but as the year counts down into another, for me the closing ceremony has begun. Part of the activities of my personal 2009 closing ceremony includes that i will be sitting back to count my blessings. This means i will think of every “remembrable” thing (pardon my French) that i’ve been blessed with or blessed to have and prepare a praise, an offering and a dance for the Lord to thank Him. The second thing i’m going to be doing is to go over the four journals i have written this year and review all i’ve learnt. I’ll be taking time off my bible and other books for a while and will use my journalized devotions during my quiet time. Finally i will take time to focus on the new year and be ready for her by the time she gets here. So let the count down begin! Oooooh i’m soooo excited!
In the first six months of this year life was a breeze. I was ensconced in testimony after testimony, month after month, but as the year stepped into it’s concluding half cycle, i got unlucky in love and had a hurtfull falling out with it. As if hit by a gaint wave, i found myself at the low ebbs of life’s current and literally found myself there. In the whirl of battered emotions, something strange began to happen- my spiritual life had a chance to grow. Humbled by pain, numbed by suffering, i was more open to listen to God. I was so sobered that i wrote in one journal entry:
I’m numb
I have no pride
I have no shame
No tears to cry
No tantrums to throw
I’m no longer looking for a way out
I ‘m not looking for a short cut
I’m just waiting for this cup to pass over me
I’m waiting to be fine again
Interestingly, this year i set for myself the laudable goal to read the entire new testament. My strategy was to read a chapter or two a day. I made this decision in Febraury when i had this unsettling feeling of “hollowness” settle over me. A phenomenum i later recognised as God nudging me in the area of my commitment to a consistent, daily fellowship with him. But about the time of my fall from cloud nine i had slipped into a dull routine. It was all beginning to be a bore and i had started loosing ground and focus. Love-wrecked however, i turned to God again and together, God and i found the way back to solid ground. On the sturdy steps of a rejuvenated relationship with God, my shaken sense of self was centered again and i quickly regained my elasticity (the ability of a thing to return quickly to it’s original shape and size after being bent, stretched or squashed) and pulled back tautly into form. Incidentally too at that time, i miraculously encountered Joel Osteen in his book- “Your best life now”. I know that book was well timed to my exact need of it by the author and orchestrator of love Himself. He loves me so! My awe of God’s timing was heightened when i observed that i would just be experiencing a withdrawal symptom, when the chapter i was reading would be teaching on how to cope with the SPECIFIC thing i was dealing with! I have never before seen that type of synchronicity between real life and a book, but as i concluded chapter after chapter of that book, i literally closed chapters of what has now become a retreating past. This was also when i started journaling the lessons from my daily devotions and curiously, there seems to have been an outstanding theme in all the messages i’d been receiving- messages very relevant to what i was going through. I’d love to share what i’ve been learning but i’ll save that for another post.
Counting blessings; Listing lessons.
One of the things i’m very thankful to God for this year, are ideas. I’ve had so many ideas i’m excited about, ones i think are brilliant. My mind has been alive with them and alert to insights dropped into my very thoughts at odd moments. One of my ideas was to send my article to TRUE LOVE West Africa, it’s one of the articles i featured here in January this year. I was absolutely and pleasantly surprised when the article won a cash prize and was published in the prestigious magazine!
Yay!
So i’m thankful for i-d-e-a-s! I’m also thankful for the amount of information i’ve acquired in both physical and spiritual things. The bible defines a mature, well –rounded christian as someone who has spiritual understanding, see that in one of my fav scriptures of ’09:
“...don’t loose a minute in building on what you’ve been given, complementing your basic faith with good character, spiritual understanding, alert discipline, passionate patience, reverent wonder, warm friendliness, and generous love, each dimension fitting into and developing the others”. 2 Peter 1:5-8 The Message/Remix version.
When i found that verse a while ago, i fell in love with the prose. It paints with action words the picture of a seasoned child of God. There is a certain intrigue in the character these words describe, let me show you.
Our basic faith is our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ, first as our saviour ( saving us from a damned here and now and a damned hereafter as a direct consequence of sin) and as our Lord ( the one we offer our worship, service and whom we obey). But that’s not all there is to developing our christian status, that’s just the basic not the whole. In addition to being saved and church- going, we should develop good character. This has to do with our morals, integrity and behaivour. Then we should add to that spiritual understanding. This implies that we should acquire a deep, firm, well- founded and resolved understanding of spiritual things. As christians we should be knowledgeable about God, faith , healing, and unworldly things. We should not be left in the dark or be ignorant and unlearned in this area but we should know about them from the bible’s perspective. In addition to that we should develop alert, watchful discipline. This means we should apply a concious control over our lifestyles, values and beliefs. We should then add to that the quality of passionate patience. Isn’t that such a paradox? Patience is the ability to endure waiting or delay or provocation or unpleasant circumstances calmly without becoming angry or upset. And to be passionate in the most watered down, diluted sense means to be willing. So the quality of passionate patience adds up as being willing to endure something difficult with a calm attitude.
Do you already see how beautiful we could be if we were matured christians not just faith speaking, church going, empty ones? I was especially pleased and interested in the next quality.
We, christians are to develop into our persona, reverent wonder. We should develop the sixth sense of wonder. We should be able to see and recognise beauty, the miraculous and the lovely. Christians should exude the charm that comes from the ability to see that a basic beauty permeates things and people. Love for people comes from and is of God, a christian should abound with love for people, affection for others and exuberance about life. These fruits grow out of God’s love for and in us. Added to these traits, a seasoned christian should develop warm friendliness. That’s quite a contrast to our typical gruff, critical or even rude attitudes. People around you and around me should enjoy our warmth. Our friendliness should show itself as helpful, welcoming, tolerant and free of cutthroat competition or mean-spirited conniving. Finally a seasoned christian should show generous love. We should be big hearted, open handed people. Giving in time, in cash and in kind, substantial, sufficient and princely offerings of ourselves .
There aren’t many christians who are a combination of all these traits but the bible explains that each one of these qualities are essential to the development of our basic faith. Most christians stop at being saved, we need to grow. Seasoned with the spices of good character, spiritual understanding, passionate patience and alert discipline and sweetened with the flavours of reverent wonder, warm friendliness, generous love; we can attain the full stature and maturity of our christian transformation. Then will our profession of faith be worth savoring. Then will we be well cooked and suited to our Father’s palate.
Closing ceremony of ’09.
This isn’t my last post for the year but as the year counts down into another, for me the closing ceremony has begun. Part of the activities of my personal 2009 closing ceremony includes that i will be sitting back to count my blessings. This means i will think of every “remembrable” thing (pardon my French) that i’ve been blessed with or blessed to have and prepare a praise, an offering and a dance for the Lord to thank Him. The second thing i’m going to be doing is to go over the four journals i have written this year and review all i’ve learnt. I’ll be taking time off my bible and other books for a while and will use my journalized devotions during my quiet time. Finally i will take time to focus on the new year and be ready for her by the time she gets here. So let the count down begin! Oooooh i’m soooo excited!
November 06, 2009
I USED TO FEEL GUILTY WHEN I DIDN’T READ MY BIBLE BUT NOW I JUST DON’T.
At the beginning of the year i had a wake up call. I had been playing hop, skip and jump in my personal bible study and prayer time and i experienced an unusual and uncomfortable feeling of emptiness inside me that i couldn’t bear to live with it. This persisted over a period of time until i realised it was God letting me experience the emptiness of a life without Him at the centre of it. I knew without being told that it had everything to do with the lack of consistency in my learning about God and his ways and in my training in being like Jesus who is the exact image of who God wants us to be. I also knew it wasn’t just a question of my not doing the ritual of “quiet time” or “daily devotion” or “personal altar” or whatever you might call it, i knew it was an issue bordering strongly on my attitude to God and the things of God. It was an issue of things like committment and faithfulness. Those are terms that come up when you’re in a relationship with someone you’re into and these are the qualities that take our experience of God out of impersonal routine into a real , tangible, results- to –show- for – it, relationship with the Living God. God will always match committment, faithfulness and obedience with passionate involvement but he barely tolerates reluctant, hot today; cold tommorow, once in a while, when i can, committment. It’s like a relationship between you and someone you love, their indifference to you would be worse than their outright rejection of you.
So i brushed up. I got my act together and stopped slacking like someone reading this should. I looked into all the reasons why i had been unable to maintain the discipline of devotions before and here is one; I didn’t have a plan to follow. The reason you hop, skip , jump on your devotions is because you don’t have a plan. If you rely on just opening your bible to some random page and reading whatever you see, it’s just as silly as preparing for an exam by guessing the pages and topics to read instead of reading the syllabus.
An example of a plan is one of these: Read the bible from start to finish in one year by reading a minimum of two chapters from the old and new testament each; Read the entire New testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read the entire old testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read selected books each month e.g study the life of Esther or Daniel; study all the books that chronicle the life of Jesus on earth- the gospels( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John); Read the books that deal with your attitudes or areas of weakness e.g the book of Proverbs that deals with issues like anger, talking before thinking, hard work or wisdom, the book of Hebrews to understand the free gift of salvation, the book of Timothy and Titus to understand what the bible says about you and your family, your spouse, your employers, the government and your church or read the bible by topics using a devotional, your bible index or a book that gives you selected reading over a certain period e.g The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. This is a very good book, please read it.
What Is Your Perception About The Bible?
The bible is not a book of stories, a book of histories, a religous book, a collection of psalms and proverbs, or “whachumacallit” , it is all of these and more. It is a library of resources for life, it is a guide that points the way to God, it is a friend that holds you accountable, it is a teacher of the very principles on which human endeavours thrive... not convinced? Tell me what you think it is and we’ll take it from there but for starters know that the bible is the truth about God and how he relates with you. If you question the authenticity of the bible and don’t believe it, i want to help you so write back, but this is what the bible says about it’s own authenticy - (2Timothy 3:16) All scripture is given by the inspiration of God; this is what we believe. If you see it as irrelevent to today, you probably have your good reasons, i want to hear them but know that your basic attitude to the bible limits your experience of what it says.
Back To The Basics.
Own your own copy of the bible. Buy a Version you like, one that appeals to your style and your person. Consider the size. Personalize your choice.
Set aside a convenient time to read it at the same time everyday, like brushing your teeth.
Take time to pray before you start, like saying grace before a meal. David in Psalms said ” Lord open my eyes to see the good things in your law”. He was one guy that was passionate about his daily devotions, he wrote all about it in the longest psalm of the collection. Ask God to settle you in a frame of mind that is peaceful. Ask him for undersanding. Ask him to help you not to reason contrary to what it says; have you ever thought you were right about something beyond any REASONABLE doubt and then found out that you were oh, so wrong? Ask him to give you a receptive mind.
Bite what you can chew. Value quality over quantity; a verse you understand and apply is better than an entire book you forget. Do a bit everyday. Think of reading your bible like the acts of eating and sleeping. We sleep only for a few hours of the day, everyday; we don’t sleep all our sleep time for life at once, so don’t do it all at once, you will go a long way by just reading a bit consistently and on a daily basis.
Learning Consistency.
If you are not a very disciplined person like me, this might be a long struggle for you but the success is in getting right back to it when you miss a day, a week or months. It’s natural to feel quilty about forgetting or outrightly refusing to read your bible but don’t let the Devil take advantage of your emotions and make you feel so guilty that you think you are a bad person or God is angry with you or you’re not going to be able to keep this up because you lack what it takes, e.t.c. Any feeling of guilt that makes you unable to read your bible is not from God. Guilt that makes you feel unhappy that you haven’t kept your committment but pushes you to do the right thing now that you’ve realised your mistake is healthy. Practice makes perfect so just keep doing it till you form a habit of it. To buttresse more on the importance of consistency, in the parable of the sower, the inconstant reader of the word is described as a person who is like rocky ground that when the seed of the word is sown into him, because it has no real roots, no depth, the crops dried up and whittered away. Only the consistent develop roots so go be a root LOL.
Getting The Most Out Of Reading Your Bible.
Try to grow beyond reading your bible just to satisfy your conscience. I remember those days in Sunday school when the teacher will go round the rows asking if we had read our bibles, some days my heart would just sink as i waited my turn. Grow beyond that type of bible reading motivated by fear of punishment or rebuke. Approach the bible like a student of it and like a student don’t read but study it. I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you but consider it thoughtfully and strive for it. You should have a notebook where you take down notes as you study your bible. It’s called SOAP.
S - Scripture: As you read the portion for the day, write down the verses that make sense to you in your notebook. The ones that strike a cord or gets your attention.
O- Observation: Concentrate. Reason. Think. What does what you have read mean? The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear or read will be the measure of benefit, information and knowledge that comes back to you.
A- Application: Think through an application of what you have read. This may require you to recall situations in the past and make comparison between the way you acted and the way you’ve just observed from the bible that you should act. Replay the scenerio and reason out how you would act next time. Your premeditated course of action about a hypothetical situation or one that occurred in the past will help you be a better doer of the word if you have to face it in future. You may also see in your bible things you should do, write them down and make a commitment to do them. Best of all, you might see things you didn’t know before, write these new lessons down. God will be speaking to you through them. After a while when you go over all you’ve been learning, you might find a re-occurring topic or theme God is trying to teach you about.
P- Prayer: When you pray, thank God for showing you what He needed you to see. Ask him to help you apply what you’ve learnt in real life, also ask him to help you remember what you have read when you need it.
What To Do When You Don’t Understand What You Are Reading.
Don’t get discouraged, read till you can pick out something you’ve learnt or understood. You might also want to consider using a daily devotional which not only gives you a bible reading plan but also explains the passages you have read. When you use a devotional, don’t just read the story or write up in the devotional without checking out the verses yourself, God will speak to you every time you pick up his word. Devotionals you can use include: Everyday with Jesus, Inspiring women, Daily manna, Our daily bread, The word for today, Rhapsody of realities, there are a lot more out there. Again choose one that suits your style, the goal is not for you to rely so much on a devotional that you cannot read your bible without one. Look up devotionals online too but please have someone recommend a good one to you, you don’t want to find out that you’re reading a devotional by the church of Satan!!!
www.lifejournal.cc is one you can try.
A final word.
The blessing in reading your bible is in doing what you learn, you are blessed in the doing not in the reading or hearing. One reason we do not do the word even though we hear it is that we forget. The bible likens that to someone who looks in the mirror, sees how fly he looks then leaves his house and completely forgets who he is, dumb yeah? The bible calls us heedless listeners who forget when we act like that but we should grow into active doers who obey. Just remember that the taste of the blessing is in the doing. Have i helped you in any new way? Let me know how. Enjoy your devotions!
So i brushed up. I got my act together and stopped slacking like someone reading this should. I looked into all the reasons why i had been unable to maintain the discipline of devotions before and here is one; I didn’t have a plan to follow. The reason you hop, skip , jump on your devotions is because you don’t have a plan. If you rely on just opening your bible to some random page and reading whatever you see, it’s just as silly as preparing for an exam by guessing the pages and topics to read instead of reading the syllabus.
An example of a plan is one of these: Read the bible from start to finish in one year by reading a minimum of two chapters from the old and new testament each; Read the entire New testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read the entire old testament in one year by reading at least two chapters a day; Read selected books each month e.g study the life of Esther or Daniel; study all the books that chronicle the life of Jesus on earth- the gospels( Matthew, Mark, Luke and John); Read the books that deal with your attitudes or areas of weakness e.g the book of Proverbs that deals with issues like anger, talking before thinking, hard work or wisdom, the book of Hebrews to understand the free gift of salvation, the book of Timothy and Titus to understand what the bible says about you and your family, your spouse, your employers, the government and your church or read the bible by topics using a devotional, your bible index or a book that gives you selected reading over a certain period e.g The purpose driven life by Rick Warren. This is a very good book, please read it.
What Is Your Perception About The Bible?
The bible is not a book of stories, a book of histories, a religous book, a collection of psalms and proverbs, or “whachumacallit” , it is all of these and more. It is a library of resources for life, it is a guide that points the way to God, it is a friend that holds you accountable, it is a teacher of the very principles on which human endeavours thrive... not convinced? Tell me what you think it is and we’ll take it from there but for starters know that the bible is the truth about God and how he relates with you. If you question the authenticity of the bible and don’t believe it, i want to help you so write back, but this is what the bible says about it’s own authenticy - (2Timothy 3:16) All scripture is given by the inspiration of God; this is what we believe. If you see it as irrelevent to today, you probably have your good reasons, i want to hear them but know that your basic attitude to the bible limits your experience of what it says.
Back To The Basics.
Own your own copy of the bible. Buy a Version you like, one that appeals to your style and your person. Consider the size. Personalize your choice.
Set aside a convenient time to read it at the same time everyday, like brushing your teeth.
Take time to pray before you start, like saying grace before a meal. David in Psalms said ” Lord open my eyes to see the good things in your law”. He was one guy that was passionate about his daily devotions, he wrote all about it in the longest psalm of the collection. Ask God to settle you in a frame of mind that is peaceful. Ask him for undersanding. Ask him to help you not to reason contrary to what it says; have you ever thought you were right about something beyond any REASONABLE doubt and then found out that you were oh, so wrong? Ask him to give you a receptive mind.
Bite what you can chew. Value quality over quantity; a verse you understand and apply is better than an entire book you forget. Do a bit everyday. Think of reading your bible like the acts of eating and sleeping. We sleep only for a few hours of the day, everyday; we don’t sleep all our sleep time for life at once, so don’t do it all at once, you will go a long way by just reading a bit consistently and on a daily basis.
Learning Consistency.
If you are not a very disciplined person like me, this might be a long struggle for you but the success is in getting right back to it when you miss a day, a week or months. It’s natural to feel quilty about forgetting or outrightly refusing to read your bible but don’t let the Devil take advantage of your emotions and make you feel so guilty that you think you are a bad person or God is angry with you or you’re not going to be able to keep this up because you lack what it takes, e.t.c. Any feeling of guilt that makes you unable to read your bible is not from God. Guilt that makes you feel unhappy that you haven’t kept your committment but pushes you to do the right thing now that you’ve realised your mistake is healthy. Practice makes perfect so just keep doing it till you form a habit of it. To buttresse more on the importance of consistency, in the parable of the sower, the inconstant reader of the word is described as a person who is like rocky ground that when the seed of the word is sown into him, because it has no real roots, no depth, the crops dried up and whittered away. Only the consistent develop roots so go be a root LOL.
Getting The Most Out Of Reading Your Bible.
Try to grow beyond reading your bible just to satisfy your conscience. I remember those days in Sunday school when the teacher will go round the rows asking if we had read our bibles, some days my heart would just sink as i waited my turn. Grow beyond that type of bible reading motivated by fear of punishment or rebuke. Approach the bible like a student of it and like a student don’t read but study it. I’m going to tell you something that might surprise you but consider it thoughtfully and strive for it. You should have a notebook where you take down notes as you study your bible. It’s called SOAP.
S - Scripture: As you read the portion for the day, write down the verses that make sense to you in your notebook. The ones that strike a cord or gets your attention.
O- Observation: Concentrate. Reason. Think. What does what you have read mean? The measure of thought and study you give to the truth you hear or read will be the measure of benefit, information and knowledge that comes back to you.
A- Application: Think through an application of what you have read. This may require you to recall situations in the past and make comparison between the way you acted and the way you’ve just observed from the bible that you should act. Replay the scenerio and reason out how you would act next time. Your premeditated course of action about a hypothetical situation or one that occurred in the past will help you be a better doer of the word if you have to face it in future. You may also see in your bible things you should do, write them down and make a commitment to do them. Best of all, you might see things you didn’t know before, write these new lessons down. God will be speaking to you through them. After a while when you go over all you’ve been learning, you might find a re-occurring topic or theme God is trying to teach you about.
P- Prayer: When you pray, thank God for showing you what He needed you to see. Ask him to help you apply what you’ve learnt in real life, also ask him to help you remember what you have read when you need it.
What To Do When You Don’t Understand What You Are Reading.
Don’t get discouraged, read till you can pick out something you’ve learnt or understood. You might also want to consider using a daily devotional which not only gives you a bible reading plan but also explains the passages you have read. When you use a devotional, don’t just read the story or write up in the devotional without checking out the verses yourself, God will speak to you every time you pick up his word. Devotionals you can use include: Everyday with Jesus, Inspiring women, Daily manna, Our daily bread, The word for today, Rhapsody of realities, there are a lot more out there. Again choose one that suits your style, the goal is not for you to rely so much on a devotional that you cannot read your bible without one. Look up devotionals online too but please have someone recommend a good one to you, you don’t want to find out that you’re reading a devotional by the church of Satan!!!
www.lifejournal.cc is one you can try.
A final word.
The blessing in reading your bible is in doing what you learn, you are blessed in the doing not in the reading or hearing. One reason we do not do the word even though we hear it is that we forget. The bible likens that to someone who looks in the mirror, sees how fly he looks then leaves his house and completely forgets who he is, dumb yeah? The bible calls us heedless listeners who forget when we act like that but we should grow into active doers who obey. Just remember that the taste of the blessing is in the doing. Have i helped you in any new way? Let me know how. Enjoy your devotions!
October 19, 2009
MUM, I’M NOT YOUR BABY!
Food for the soul.
Today i had an absolutely wonderful time sharing my life with my girlfriends. It rubbed my heart, touched my sense of person and it not only left me with a deep feeling of fulfillment, but also gave me an even deeper sense of gratitude for the gift of having each other. The time with my girls was worth a day of my life. We share a history of life experiences, each one stored in the treasure chest of our hearts and as we sat together for hours and hours, totally oblivious of time and place, we took out memory after memory, and cherished them like precious jewels. I prized our friendship even more as we recounted it’s length and it’s rewards. I hallowed the bond formed and forged from laughter loaned and tears borrowed. A bond of sacred sisterhood; legitimate by loyalty, thick as blood. At the end of the day, i observed the healthy glow of my face in the mirror and laughed in meriment; half child, half girl! My smile was a rosette of joy, happiness and heartfelt delight. I was exuding that quality of peace in oneself that flows out of being at peace with others. It was a big high for me. It filled my emotional tank. I had experienced with kindred spirits the wisdom of God in making friends!
Erhm, did i mention that it was wonderful?
MUM! I’m Not Your Baby!
I and my mum speak to each other at least once everyday so when recently she started calling me two, three or four times in the day, i didn’t need a louder signal than that to recognise she wanted me around. So i packed my bags and headed home hoping i was making a good decision and that whatever i would be putting on hold or in second place would wait for me. Once home it was quite surprising how i quickly eased into my old ways. I still preffered to read and write seated on my old bed rather than use a table, i still found it hard to leave the house and i still loved my bed. The rewards of being back were peace and quiet, regular and healthy food, longer hours of sleep, sessions in front of the tube plus i got to dodge house work in the name of seniority, i mean if it was unpleasant or inconvenient, i remembered i was the senior! I thoroughly maximised the moment for i knew that the moro cometh when i would lust for my independence again.
Isn’t it puzzling that no matter how old we grow our parents still see us as their babies. When we are young the relationship we have with them is uncomplicated. In fact we learn early in life the way we relate to our parents, we are conditioned by nature and habituated by their nurturing to play the role of a child. But as we grow older and change, the relationship also changes and our roles evolve along entirely different lines. Perhaps unfortunately, no one teaches us how to manage the different facets it metamorphosis into and we are forced to figure it out by ourselves. It is at this point that fathers loose their sons and daughters hate their mothers. This is not the picture God had in mind for our relationships with our parents. That’s a malfunction of the design that was intended by the manufacturer. God’s actual picture is one of peace and harmony between parents and children. The bible says it’s a good and pleasant thing for brethren- members of the same family, to dwell together in harmony and that it is within that type of unity that he commands his blessings.
During our teenage years we start to develop our own views about life. We tend towards the opinion of our peers more in the interest of solidarity than by the force of individuality. It is at this age we begin to test theories and experiment with convictions. We start to disagree with our parents and resent the imposition of their standards on us. We hold waring opinions on what to wear, where to go, what time to stay out, which course to study, whom to date e.t.c and if it is not handled properly it often ends in a battle of wills where the one party who wins the battle, looses the war. Consequently, the emotional umbilical cord from parent to child is yanked off and we never regain the level of intimacy, trust, respect and even love we shared with our parents in our early years.
As we mature, that cord of love is further tested by our transition into adulthood. Our parents struggle to accept that we have grown and they fight to hold on to the level of control they used to have but this makes us shift even further from them as we struggle for independence and strive to shake off their influence and control. They want to be relevant in our decisions but we often assert our independence and maturity by taking decisions on our own or ignoring their advice. Our financial dependence is the last of our dependencies we grow out of and from there on we are our own. It seems we don’t need them anymore. Worse, as our parents grow older we notice their flaws, we judge their results, we criticise their choices, we blame them for their failures and even ours. In the end all that is left is over used courtesy and distant respect. The gulf all but widens until there is no hope for any intimacy with them. Our heros who though at one time faced the world with brazen confidence, suddenly contract a disturbing fear of it. They become intimidated by rapid changes they have not caught on with or distressed by thoughts of the future and as their hands grow frail on the reins of life, ours attain mastery of it. The wheels have turned. It is at this point that the child becomes the parent and vice versa and they may need to depend on us for emotional, mental and financial support.
And although we have played our role of being our parent’s children by force of habit in our developing years, as the circle turns and we earn our independence, we must rely on a greater force to keep the balance in the evolved relationships with our nearest and dearest- Love. Love makes the effort to involve them and make them feel relevant, respected, loved and valued. We may have to rediscover them, we may have to resist the pull of our busy lives to keep in touch with them, maybe even take an interest in something they love and make it our thing just to get along. And even though we now know that they are far from perfect and may get on our nerves from time to time, we have to find common ground to walk with them on.
I miss mine just writing this and i think i’ll just stop here and make a quick phone call eh?
Today i had an absolutely wonderful time sharing my life with my girlfriends. It rubbed my heart, touched my sense of person and it not only left me with a deep feeling of fulfillment, but also gave me an even deeper sense of gratitude for the gift of having each other. The time with my girls was worth a day of my life. We share a history of life experiences, each one stored in the treasure chest of our hearts and as we sat together for hours and hours, totally oblivious of time and place, we took out memory after memory, and cherished them like precious jewels. I prized our friendship even more as we recounted it’s length and it’s rewards. I hallowed the bond formed and forged from laughter loaned and tears borrowed. A bond of sacred sisterhood; legitimate by loyalty, thick as blood. At the end of the day, i observed the healthy glow of my face in the mirror and laughed in meriment; half child, half girl! My smile was a rosette of joy, happiness and heartfelt delight. I was exuding that quality of peace in oneself that flows out of being at peace with others. It was a big high for me. It filled my emotional tank. I had experienced with kindred spirits the wisdom of God in making friends!
Erhm, did i mention that it was wonderful?
MUM! I’m Not Your Baby!
I and my mum speak to each other at least once everyday so when recently she started calling me two, three or four times in the day, i didn’t need a louder signal than that to recognise she wanted me around. So i packed my bags and headed home hoping i was making a good decision and that whatever i would be putting on hold or in second place would wait for me. Once home it was quite surprising how i quickly eased into my old ways. I still preffered to read and write seated on my old bed rather than use a table, i still found it hard to leave the house and i still loved my bed. The rewards of being back were peace and quiet, regular and healthy food, longer hours of sleep, sessions in front of the tube plus i got to dodge house work in the name of seniority, i mean if it was unpleasant or inconvenient, i remembered i was the senior! I thoroughly maximised the moment for i knew that the moro cometh when i would lust for my independence again.
Isn’t it puzzling that no matter how old we grow our parents still see us as their babies. When we are young the relationship we have with them is uncomplicated. In fact we learn early in life the way we relate to our parents, we are conditioned by nature and habituated by their nurturing to play the role of a child. But as we grow older and change, the relationship also changes and our roles evolve along entirely different lines. Perhaps unfortunately, no one teaches us how to manage the different facets it metamorphosis into and we are forced to figure it out by ourselves. It is at this point that fathers loose their sons and daughters hate their mothers. This is not the picture God had in mind for our relationships with our parents. That’s a malfunction of the design that was intended by the manufacturer. God’s actual picture is one of peace and harmony between parents and children. The bible says it’s a good and pleasant thing for brethren- members of the same family, to dwell together in harmony and that it is within that type of unity that he commands his blessings.
During our teenage years we start to develop our own views about life. We tend towards the opinion of our peers more in the interest of solidarity than by the force of individuality. It is at this age we begin to test theories and experiment with convictions. We start to disagree with our parents and resent the imposition of their standards on us. We hold waring opinions on what to wear, where to go, what time to stay out, which course to study, whom to date e.t.c and if it is not handled properly it often ends in a battle of wills where the one party who wins the battle, looses the war. Consequently, the emotional umbilical cord from parent to child is yanked off and we never regain the level of intimacy, trust, respect and even love we shared with our parents in our early years.
As we mature, that cord of love is further tested by our transition into adulthood. Our parents struggle to accept that we have grown and they fight to hold on to the level of control they used to have but this makes us shift even further from them as we struggle for independence and strive to shake off their influence and control. They want to be relevant in our decisions but we often assert our independence and maturity by taking decisions on our own or ignoring their advice. Our financial dependence is the last of our dependencies we grow out of and from there on we are our own. It seems we don’t need them anymore. Worse, as our parents grow older we notice their flaws, we judge their results, we criticise their choices, we blame them for their failures and even ours. In the end all that is left is over used courtesy and distant respect. The gulf all but widens until there is no hope for any intimacy with them. Our heros who though at one time faced the world with brazen confidence, suddenly contract a disturbing fear of it. They become intimidated by rapid changes they have not caught on with or distressed by thoughts of the future and as their hands grow frail on the reins of life, ours attain mastery of it. The wheels have turned. It is at this point that the child becomes the parent and vice versa and they may need to depend on us for emotional, mental and financial support.
And although we have played our role of being our parent’s children by force of habit in our developing years, as the circle turns and we earn our independence, we must rely on a greater force to keep the balance in the evolved relationships with our nearest and dearest- Love. Love makes the effort to involve them and make them feel relevant, respected, loved and valued. We may have to rediscover them, we may have to resist the pull of our busy lives to keep in touch with them, maybe even take an interest in something they love and make it our thing just to get along. And even though we now know that they are far from perfect and may get on our nerves from time to time, we have to find common ground to walk with them on.
I miss mine just writing this and i think i’ll just stop here and make a quick phone call eh?
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