It is far from reality to believe that the wedding gown of a bride’s dreams does not exist until she is ready to walk down the aisle. The Cinderella truth is that way before that magical moment when she is propositioned and a white diamond set in silver is pressed to a place of rest on her dainty finger, a staff of doves, mice and fairies have been working on her entire bridal trousseau!
And if you are a fantast like me, then your wedding fantasies began long, long ago in a faraway kingdom animated by Disney. First there was Cinderella and then Jasmine and Ariel, and all the other Disney princesses that came after,but the inception of the idea of a wedding dress was implanted in my mind by the character “Lisa Dowell” in the movie “Coming to America”. Back then, i thought Lisa’s wedding dress was very ideal but now when i think about it, i can almost hear Joan Rivers of Fashion Police, in her raspy voice and a snicker describe it as a monstrous, lace contraption made from pink bedspreads in the era 20BG (Before Gaga).
Next to Lisa's dress,was Giselle's- hers too fairy tale to be true. It was in the movie “Enchanted” and i was enchanted by both the cartoon and live versions of the wedding dress except it worried me that the dress was not only aspiring to show- stopper status but was intended to be a bulky nuisance as well.
And now, several fairy tales later, i am stuck with a vision of walking down the aisle in 20 pounds of tulle, rhinestones, beading and ruffles and one innocent man is going to part with a pretty penny to buy a wedding dress which has progressively evolved in my mind since being six years old!
So the next time you ask a girl what she wants to look like on her wedding day, you’ll understand when she replies; "just like a princess”, you’ll understand why she is taking forever to find a dress and why she is willing to break the bank to do so.
Searching for that wedding dress with the magical essence to imbue it’s wearer with royalty and turn her into a princess is another matter entirely. The quest for this “perfect dress” very often turns the calmest, even –tempered girl into Bridezilla. Most brides go through a plethora of white garments before finding “the one”! The rigor is almost as difficult as hitching the man itself.
Maybe it’s the thought that all eyes will be on the bride or maybe it’s about that moment when the groom sees her approaching from the opposite side of the aisle in all her bridal beauty or maybe it’s about looking her most beautiful on that one day. I don’t know for sure, but for brides, the pressure is on to wear something wowing.
Undoubtedly, when it comes to feeling like a bride, it’s all about the dress. And whether a girl decides to be the Princess bride, the Cinderella bride, the Diva bride, the Goddess bride or the Innocently sexy bride, today’s bride will have all the experience and guidance of the Princesses before her handed down one Disney movie at a time.
May 30, 2011
May 16, 2011
ALWAYS SISTERS, ALWAYS FRIENDS
Girls have a special ability to form strong bonds with each other. From childhood when they have Best Friends Forever (BFFs) to their teens when they want to dress alike, girls are just wired to bond. These emotional ties are created by the free giving of self to self and sometimes the resulting sisterhoods can endure beyond the instances of the initial attraction, transcending childhood and womanhood into progeny. Then friendship has become a legacy.
But sometimes Best Friends Forever can become Worst Friends Ever. If by a cruel twist of fate they have a crush on the same boy in their teens or by the evil scheming of a horrid Grinch they turn against each other in adulthood, BFFs do break their girly oaths to be friends forever.
The reasons vary and often are unspoken but if we strain our ears we would hear little girls in grown up bodies, wordlessly saying to each other , “ I am breaking up with you, my best friend because...
...I am now a married woman”.
This is the most common reason one BFF about to tie the knot, will break up with the other. Somewhere in between the “Here comes the bride” and the placing of the sacred bands of gold on the honorary ring finger, your BFF will be hit, no knocked over by the realisation that her unmarried friends would be a bad influence on her married life. They would only make her lust for her late- night partying ways, her infrequent cooking and junk –eating habits and give her all this bad advice. At the very moment she contracts this paranoia, you may well be tip toeing around her wedding white being the perfect maid of honour but she has your evil plans all figured out.... so out you go!
And then there’s the “i earn a fatter pay check now” break up line.
Your childhood friend has landed a job with a fat salary and she’s making every effort to flaunt it in your face. She has upgraded herself into the “IT” girl with all the latest gadgets, designer bags, designer clothes, designer jewellery, designer vacations, designer hair, designer accent, and etcetera. Like the typical victim of new money, she’s too busy getting caught up in the material world to be human enough to relate if you’re broke or can’t pay the air fare for another friend’s wedding or can’t catch up with her commentaries on the latest gadget!
There’s also the irritating “I am more into my man and less into you” line.
This one is so cliché. Your BFF has found herself a new accessory. He has a baritone, a wall for a chest and makes her feel more woman than little girl! How can you compete with that? And it gets worse! Lover boy doesn’t get you or like you. Now BFF is beginning to sound like him and though she used to think you were hilariously funny, lately she stopped laughing at your jokes and even said once that you talk too much. Also, she has told him about the way you both used to make fun of him in the “toasting” days, murdering any chance of him getting to like you anyway!
And there’s the “I’ll never forgive you for doing it first” break up line.
This one happens to some sister who used to see her BFF as the baby, the junior or the late bloomer and suddenly has to face the horror of watching her friend take the first steps into womanhood ahead of her. The one who considers herself better, takes a blow to her ego and feels her superiority is put in question when her younger or less experienced friend takes the rite of passage into engagement, marriage, or employment before her.
Oooh and there’s the “i have moved on” line.
Erhm, this one happens when one girl feels all that frolicking and Best –Friends- For- Life stuff was childish. She’s a grown woman now and to settle any doubts you might have of her maturity, she rids herself of you- the childish, girlish friend of her childhood. She feels she’s outgrown you and like an unmatching colour with her outfit, the concept of BFFs don’t fit into her world.
Now this one really gets my blood boiling but it’s called the “when it’s your turn you’ll understand “line .
Happens when one friend gets to experience something you both have been curious about like getting married, sex or child birth. You’ll know it’s happening when your BFF, who is every bit your pair in an obnoxiously condescending way says something like “what has happened for me will happen for you one day” or “i can’t tell you, when it’s your turn, you will know”.
And i mustn’t forget the “you know too much” break up line where your BFF keeps you at arm’s -length because you witnessed the episodes of dissipation of her youth and now she wants to put her past and everyone from it behind her.
We can go on and on citing the things that drive the wedge between best friends. Actually, all the reasons why “we aren’t that close anymore” will fit in.But some BFFs will make it to the finish line and weave that rich tapestry of friendship into their emerging family lines. It is these rare few who will truly know the rewarding joy of friendship.
To all my BFFs, met and unmet...I HAVE A DREAM... that one day our children will be BFFs too! And yes our lives will take different turns and we will do different things but hopefully our friendships would make it through. Like Cece Winans said, i hope we ’d always be sisters and we’d always be friends. The kind who forgiving each other and letting love cover, stay real close till the very end.
But sometimes Best Friends Forever can become Worst Friends Ever. If by a cruel twist of fate they have a crush on the same boy in their teens or by the evil scheming of a horrid Grinch they turn against each other in adulthood, BFFs do break their girly oaths to be friends forever.
The reasons vary and often are unspoken but if we strain our ears we would hear little girls in grown up bodies, wordlessly saying to each other , “ I am breaking up with you, my best friend because...
...I am now a married woman”.
This is the most common reason one BFF about to tie the knot, will break up with the other. Somewhere in between the “Here comes the bride” and the placing of the sacred bands of gold on the honorary ring finger, your BFF will be hit, no knocked over by the realisation that her unmarried friends would be a bad influence on her married life. They would only make her lust for her late- night partying ways, her infrequent cooking and junk –eating habits and give her all this bad advice. At the very moment she contracts this paranoia, you may well be tip toeing around her wedding white being the perfect maid of honour but she has your evil plans all figured out.... so out you go!
And then there’s the “i earn a fatter pay check now” break up line.
Your childhood friend has landed a job with a fat salary and she’s making every effort to flaunt it in your face. She has upgraded herself into the “IT” girl with all the latest gadgets, designer bags, designer clothes, designer jewellery, designer vacations, designer hair, designer accent, and etcetera. Like the typical victim of new money, she’s too busy getting caught up in the material world to be human enough to relate if you’re broke or can’t pay the air fare for another friend’s wedding or can’t catch up with her commentaries on the latest gadget!
There’s also the irritating “I am more into my man and less into you” line.
This one is so cliché. Your BFF has found herself a new accessory. He has a baritone, a wall for a chest and makes her feel more woman than little girl! How can you compete with that? And it gets worse! Lover boy doesn’t get you or like you. Now BFF is beginning to sound like him and though she used to think you were hilariously funny, lately she stopped laughing at your jokes and even said once that you talk too much. Also, she has told him about the way you both used to make fun of him in the “toasting” days, murdering any chance of him getting to like you anyway!
And there’s the “I’ll never forgive you for doing it first” break up line.
This one happens to some sister who used to see her BFF as the baby, the junior or the late bloomer and suddenly has to face the horror of watching her friend take the first steps into womanhood ahead of her. The one who considers herself better, takes a blow to her ego and feels her superiority is put in question when her younger or less experienced friend takes the rite of passage into engagement, marriage, or employment before her.
Oooh and there’s the “i have moved on” line.
Erhm, this one happens when one girl feels all that frolicking and Best –Friends- For- Life stuff was childish. She’s a grown woman now and to settle any doubts you might have of her maturity, she rids herself of you- the childish, girlish friend of her childhood. She feels she’s outgrown you and like an unmatching colour with her outfit, the concept of BFFs don’t fit into her world.
Now this one really gets my blood boiling but it’s called the “when it’s your turn you’ll understand “line .
Happens when one friend gets to experience something you both have been curious about like getting married, sex or child birth. You’ll know it’s happening when your BFF, who is every bit your pair in an obnoxiously condescending way says something like “what has happened for me will happen for you one day” or “i can’t tell you, when it’s your turn, you will know”.
And i mustn’t forget the “you know too much” break up line where your BFF keeps you at arm’s -length because you witnessed the episodes of dissipation of her youth and now she wants to put her past and everyone from it behind her.
We can go on and on citing the things that drive the wedge between best friends. Actually, all the reasons why “we aren’t that close anymore” will fit in.But some BFFs will make it to the finish line and weave that rich tapestry of friendship into their emerging family lines. It is these rare few who will truly know the rewarding joy of friendship.
To all my BFFs, met and unmet...I HAVE A DREAM... that one day our children will be BFFs too! And yes our lives will take different turns and we will do different things but hopefully our friendships would make it through. Like Cece Winans said, i hope we ’d always be sisters and we’d always be friends. The kind who forgiving each other and letting love cover, stay real close till the very end.
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