The old FASHIONS of love

Something about weddings and marriage remind me of the church where i grew up. Every now and again when i return to visit, the place looks smaller and the sermons sound familiar. The seniors also look older and i wonder if they shrunk overnight because now they are less- threatening and less like the no - nonsense people i used to know. Age passes the baton of exuberance between generations, relieving one and appointing the next.

There is just an unapologetic charm in quaint chapels like mine. It’s the same quaintness of wedding into married life. It has little to do with the good quality of the music, the fashion sense of the majority or the sohisticated order of the service, which may sometimes be lacking. The secret lies in that sense of belonging which exudes to newcomer and old timer alike. The appeal is in the state of harmony where oddity blends with antiquity to form a mosaic of many picturesque moments!

In my chapel, it’s the familiarity that changes what could be considered uncouth between strangers into fodder for hearty laughter among friends. It’s the unburied fights between the disapproving older generation and the defensive younger generation. They have never quite gotten over your unforgivable, adolescent disregard for their preferences in music and fashion! They will never understand why you like to wear your skirts a bit shorter or your make-up a little bolder, neither will they ever decipher your preference for trousers over skirts!

These sentiments are a few of the elements which add an intangible value to the tradditional church where i come from. When i am there, i am received like i never went away. I realise i am still plugged into the lingo, the in- house jokes and all of the favours bequeathed to me as a reward for being a part of it’s history. That history has also become a defining part of my cornucopia of life’s experiences. For this communual feeling which i cannot find within the walls of any mega- church, i go back to the good, old - fashioned chapel from time to time!

But that is not all. There is something old - fashioned too about weddings. Something old - fashioned about love. Old - fashioned as our ancestors who came before us and inexhaustible as eternity to come and eternity before us! (did you get the pun?). And it is not common that an old love is reincarnated so that two young people share in modern millennia, a love that is pure and wise and true and unselfish; one reminiscent of the old fashions of love. I attended a wedding that joined in matrimony a very old - fashioned love between two discerningly wise, young and
“new- fashion” people.

“What does old - fashioned love look like?” you ask me. I’ll tell you.

If you have loved before then you must know that love is spiritual. Something about the free- giving and free- receiving of hearts bears resemblance to a human being laying down or giving up his/her life for a friend. Divine. This is how you can discern it: If your love does not need to unburden the truth or shower with abundance the undeserving or run up a debt of forgiveness or sacrifice self to preserve it or worship God for the very gift of having it , then you are experiencing an inferior form of it. If your love isnt brazen enough to fulfill itself in the way your heart has taught it to you, but you have to look in the books of others first to adapt it, you haven’t found it!

Between those two leaf- loves (a type of songbird) getting married, there where a thousand words but their quiet submission to God and each other was the sum of them all. Selah!

The old fashions of love remain. Pure, simple and unclaimed for every heart sincere enough to reach it. Love never needed an adjective to qualify it. It never needed to be differentiated into true love, real love, erotic love, pure love or one love! It was just this plain, old - fashioned thing called: love. Although it manifests in and is made evident by many things, and although many things bear it witness, love itself is only one thing.

I promised you tales of frills and laces, pinks and beige, feathers and roses... fail you i dare not! It’s the wedding series people!

The WEDDING series (LOL , this is going to be hilarious...)!

I love weddings when i have one to attend and i always allow myself be swept into the wispy, misty , fairy tale aura they create. What all that “hinglish” there means is that i just cooperate with the atmosphere and let it teach me what to feel... ( if only people did that often they’d be more blessed in church, look more empathetic to their friends and family and have more romantic moments multiplied unto them in their relationships lol).

Weddings indeed give us rare moments to savor . They are the only events where every generation in the family can participate and enjoy each others role amicably. The younger generation get the chance to “bugey” and be exuberant while the Uncles and Aunties watch admiring their energy and creativity and the older generation get to sway to more laid back music thrilling the young with their more deliberate and calculated moves. Even the children are admired for their dexterity on the dance floor and are permitted to steal the spot light from time to time. Also at weddings, we regain our familiarity with solemn moments which thereafter fade into the drab and drag of our daily grind.

At weddings i scan for those soft and subtle moments that pass by you, their signals so tiny on your emotion’o’meter that you almost miss them if you aren’t tuned into the magic that is possible in that atmosphere. My favorite part is the exchange of vows between the couple. Something about the hush as the couples say to each other words of ardent devotion, sets into motion the goose bumps that travel up every inch of skin on my body, transporting teardrops into my eyes! I lie not! (They are called goose tears!)

Some things never escape me like the nervous look of the bride when the Minister says in heightened suspense, ”you may kiss the bride” or the tender look of the couple’s parents as they witness a replay of their own joining or the oohs and aahs of the single ladies hanging on to their seats in excitement as they watch their fantasies jump to life straight out of the pages of a romance novel! (or straight out of the cob webs of their over used fantasies which are frequently rehearsed , reviewed and reused at the slightest excuse of a romantic desire, untill all passing thought is followed in hot pursuit by their wedding day dreams!) Seriously some people are hooked on the idea of a marriage ceremony and they need to be checked into the “ the wedding day dreamer rehab centre”!

This year a number of my friends donned the sacrificial white dress and took unhastened steps to vow at the sacred altar, where in a ceremonial gathering of traditional witnesses, they were sworn into a marital union! (LOLLLLL! Did i have to make it sound eerie like that?). Well i have memoirs from each wedding which i tell here in a series of epistles! Join me as we go through the maze of emotions to capture from the delicate threads of memory, wedding tales of laces and frills, dames and maids, brides and bridezillas... and i’ll tell you everything. I promise...

To be continued.....lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll!!!

THE ENEMY WITHIN

There are four things that are unnatural to me in this life. Four things i cannot bear! It is unnatural to say “let there be light” in my house and there is no light. Even God said “let there be light” and there was light! The second thing i cannot stand is to see a dissappointed youth. The very strength of youth implies possibility, so it is very unnatural to have youth and strength and live below the potential and promise it holds.

The third thing that i think is absolutely unnatural is a burnt field. Greenery burnt to char, the ground laid bare and wasted, trees parched up, dried of their moisture and stifled of their life. That picture is unnatural. Green grass, vibrant trees, abundant lush? That’s nature. That’s natural. Life is natural, abundance is natural, vibrance is natural , productivity is natural, fruiting is natural, being supported by the piece of earth that holds your roots is natural, just like it is natural for our country to prosper and unnatural for it to fail miserably in the clutches of poverty, corruption, injustice, and it’s other unnatural ills.

The fourth thing i cannot bear, that is unbearably unnatural, is to have a dream, to see it, hear it, taste it, feel it and then it doesn’t come true. One reason why people’s dreams don’t come true is called “discouragement”. It is a silent killer. It is potent enough to take out not only the dreams of one person but even the hopes of an entire nation.

For instance, in Nigeria, we have seen so much oppression, corruption and injustice and have witnessed the untimely abortion of many attempts at sanity in some sectors, so when someone expresses a positive hope for our country in our hearing, we respond half heartedly that things will never change. They can and they will but discouragement will steal our chance if we let it. I tell you, whenever God is trying to do the impossible in our lives or in a people he stirs up hope, he inspires “believe” , he awakens faith. Isn’t that what God is prompting us to do for our country? Hope. The devil has gotten wind of that and is trying to stiffle it because he knows that if we dare have hope as a country, we would start to pray. And when we pray things will change.

The very rythm of steady prayer will unite us in one purpose. Our collective prayers will harness for us the most powerful forces in the universe: prayer and unity. That’s why we need to take hold of that line of hope, muster our strength and pray out the devil and his pandora’s box of evil from our land.

Have you ever come to a stalemate where you lack strength and inner resolve and feel a total loss of energy to do something you used to believe in or feel strongly about? Have you ever felt irritated by a pattern playing out in your life but can’t seem to muster enough strength to change it and you feel like you are helplessly watching yourself do nothing?

Discouragement is the enemy of strength. The devil is the author of discouragement. The tools of his trade are obstacles meant to stymie (hinder, block, thwart, prevent, confound, frustrate, upset, stump, mystify, baffle) your dreams and desires. He specialises in stinging you with a dose of unpleasant reality until you accept defeat.

Let me show what the blueprint says-

we are God’s own handiwork, recreated in Christ Jesus by being born again( being born into a spiritual life with him) so that we may do those good works which God predestined or planned before hand for us, taking those parts which he prepared ahead of time that we should walk in them, living the good life which he prearranged and made ready us to live.

And it also says:

God is able to make all grace, favour and earthly blessing come to you in abundance, so that you may always and under all circumstances and whatever the need be self sufficient, possessing enough to require no aid or support and furnished in abundance for every good work and charitable donation.

That’s whats up for grabs. That’s what discouragement is trying to rob you of.

I’m really daring to “a state of believe”, anyone who feels discouraged about a forward movement that they are expecting to happen in their life. It is natural to be happy, settled, established or fulfilled. It is natural to prosper. The devil will try to discourage that hope, don’t let him win over you. For that person, you need to pray against every hindrance the devil has put in your way, in your thoughts, in your mind, in your attitude or in your emotions.

In 1 thessalonian 2:18, Paul talks about being hindered, impeded and stymied by the Devil when he was making repeated efforts to see the believers at Thessalonica. Yep that happens so pray. You need to sustain your faith and hope by feeding on the word of God- the source of faith. Ever read these words in your bible; “Faith cometh by hearing the word of God”?

God will put steel into the frailest hopes and faintest expectations and give you the power you need to break out of the stalemate of discouragement. It is God who is all the while effectually at work in you , energizing and creating in you the power and desire both to will and do what needs to be done to make your dreams come true.

I pray that God grants you today; to be strenghtened and reinforced with mighty power in your innerman, by the Holyspirit who himself indwells your innermost being and your personality, so that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp a total measure of what God has prepared for you to have and experience.

Don’t be discouraged. Be full of hope.

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS...

From the time i was little, i have been attracted to things that sparkle in the light. I remember how i used to pick up beads, colored embellishments, sequins, even sweet wraps, stones and pieces of glass. I pretended they where precious stones and i was a princess. They were my wardrobe for my princess diary fantasies. So today when i insist a tailored dress must come fully embellished with stones and shiny things my mum just laughs whimsically reminiscing my wee days when i waited for the studs on her shoes to fall off, ran after the colored stones on her laces, or pretended to be her wearing her jewelry!

Well i guess old habits die hard because when i enter a jewelry store i catch fever just looking from one show glass to the next. The large cocktail rings, the bracelets, the beaded and chain neck pieces, the studded belts, and tasty ear pieces leave my throat dry. A colleague who once witnessed my fidgeting was totally bewildered. He said commenting on the incident later, that i was literary shaking! I have since earned the names Esmeralda , Bedazzled and Sparklerella from my girlfriend who teases me whenever i make an appearance with a new piece for my jewelry collection. Yes i like all that glitters, gold or not!

But now to the good stuff....

The idea of 2010 was hard for me to capture even 2-3 years ago because it looked like a major milestone from Y2K, but 2010 has come and is passing and i thought i should write something to remind us about the goals we made at the beginning of the year.

Sometimes in the pursuit of our goals we ourselves could be the stumbling blocks - now i don’t mean we physically do things to hurt or hinder our progress but i refer to our thoughts where we can think up the obstacles of fear, dig pits of discouragement or blot out the light of hope with doubt. The enemy within is a mind full of disempowering beliefs, negative emotions and negative thoughts.

A negative thought is that line of discussion you have with yourself that drains your energy and keeps you from moving forward toward a solution or a desired result.”They are disintegrating elements which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless” says Author James Allen about thoughts like doubt and fear in his book, As a man thinketh. A mind assailed by self doubt and/or crippling fears doesn’t believe in itself. These thoughts of inability or weakness lead to failure.

Wouldn’t it be ironical to expend physical effort to attain a goal and at the same time continue to frustrate it’s accomplishment by entertaining thoughts and phobias, attitudes and habits which do not harmonize with what you want and desire? James Allen writes “ As the physically weak man can make himself strong so the man of weak thoughts can make them strong”. Personally i read my bible every day because it is a repository of positive thoughts and right attitudes that attract success. The general idea is to align your dominant thoughts with the attainment of the goals you are externally striving to achieve.

You are most certainly not your moment of weakness or your experience of failure. You are not your weakness, YOU are your strengths put together. Rehearsing poor thoughts won’t give you a sense of power but a sense of failure and inadequacy. There’s more to define our capability than mistakes we’ve made. There’s more to show our strength than the trials that have defeated us. We are people with ability to do and to change and that’s the kind of thinking that should be in a mind that has become friends with itself and its goals.

So there... as the year faithfully ticks away fulfilling its allotment of days, i hope someone reading this also ticks off as done this year’s allotment of goals!

Eka’s bridal shower

Eka is the modern day Florence Nightingale with a Monalisa smile. She’s quite the girl next door so when the girls asked me to be the emcee at her bridal shower, i knew it would be a sensible evening. Bridal showers these days turn into wild parties crawling with good girls anxious to get bad. The game of “truth or dare” is quite a favorite, because you can get away with asking a total stranger their dirty secrets or with taunting a friend into confessing a surreptitious tryst. Wresting truth from unwilling lips gets more entertaining when a girl chooses a dare. When this happens, her “questioner” becomes the evil stepsister, daring her to an embarrasing task with a penalty. But knowing our bride -to- be, we suspected she would exorcise her guests of such schoolgirl antics if we dared them.

We realised there would be different classes of women; single, dating, engaged, and married. It could be an opportunity to trade life’s recipes and hand down ageless secrets, woman to woman. So began the best bridal shower i ever attended. We spent our time asking questions, sharing experiences and trading lessons. The single girls wanted to know the challenges of their married friends. Everybody wanted to know how Eka met Mr Right.

We spent an especially long time resolving one girl’s concern about sex before marriage. I was alarmed when i realized how little the younger girls knew. While they had been told sex outside the nurturing environment of a marriage relationship was wrong, nobody had ever told them why. Even those who thought it was wrong based on religion, could not back their religious beliefs with personal conviction. There was a brief arguement then but Eka punctuated it from a biblical standpoint that fornication is a sin and God’s way is abstainance. For a minute we forgot it was a bridal shower not a women’s conference.

We tackled the myth that if a girl didn’t have “work experience”, a man wouldn’t want her but which man likes to know someone has had you before he married you? I wondered if those who peddled these ideas would be happy to teach it to their sisters. We agreed that if it wasn’t good for the sisters it definately wasn’t good for the girlfriends. One undergrad student was scared her boyfriend would leave her if she didn’t give in. If he really loves you he wont ask you to do something you don’t want to or threaten to leave you because you didn’t let him have his way. But what if you’re sure you’ll marry him?

To help the girls we did an exercise called “Getting motivated by the fear of consequences”. We explored all the possible effects of dating with “benefits”. We considered every angle including how it could affect the ladies emotionally and spiritually. We also explored hypothetical scenarios, like what could happen if they were found out by someone who would be dissappointed in them or if they realised it wasn’t love but he just wanted to get in their pants or if he dumped them for another girl or if they ended up marrying someone else. Here, i observed that every one seemed to know a tale about some friend whose freedom of expression later caught up with her in married life. By the end of the exercise, we noticed that while getting pregnant was a common item on their lists, getting dumped and contracting a disease were some of the most feared consequences.

Just before the food was put away and the dancing began, every woman in the house gave the bride -to- be a piece of advice. Each woman gave freely from her experience. It was all heart felt, Eka cried. Many days later, i still cherish the bond of sisterhood formed from laughter loaned and tears borrowed at Eka’s bridal shower.

THE TWOFOLD BLESSING.

I had another encounter recently with Mr Joel Osteen (remember my post about our first encounter?), let me tell you what happened. I was attending this conference and was quickly reminded that those things are seldom fun. Right about the time i was getting bored with my sorroundings and looking for a distraction from my distraction of choice, Mr Osteen showed like a good fairy godmother (er erhm , i beg your pardon Mister Osteen!). He was sitting on the rugged shelves of a book stand! Of course, he was smiling like he usually does, and wearing a black suit. It’s true! We (Mr J. Osteen and me that is) quickly got to talking, and he started telling me all this good stuff about “Becoming a better you”! This was just the sort of thing i needed to hear so after the conference i took me, my tired body and Mr Osteen back home ( erhm ... i didn’t think Mrs Osteen would mind very much) LOL

Anyways, “Becoming a better you” is a great book by J. Osteen which i am reading at the moment!

THE GOOD STUFF

I want to share something i learnt this year from my bible study. I call it the twofold blessing or the law of compensation. Read with me...

“Instead of your former shame, you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonour and reproach your people shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double what they had forfeited and everlasting joy shall be theirs” Isaiah 61: 7, AMP.

I first found out about the compensating blessing of God when i read that scripture but i didnt know what the two – fold recompense meant. I only knew from checking the dictionary that recompense means “ to give compensation to somebody for an injury or loss “ . On the authority of that word, i knew i could lay claim to a twofold compensation if i had an area of injury ( shame, dishonour, reproach e.t.c) or loss ( forfeited rights, with held dues, deprived entitlements). I understood that God would make things up to me where i had received undeserved treatment or suffered innocently- that much was clear. I would later find out more.

A few months afterward, i was in church with alot to thank God for when a thought dropped in my spirit;

God restores, then He compensates!

As i thought about it, i remembered Job. I became restless, waiting for the last “amen” so i could race home to check out Jobs experience for myself. I was eager to see if i would find a definate place where it said that God specifically restored then compensated and when i checked i saw the twofold, two-part blessing there!

1. The blessing of Restoration: The blessing that turns the captivity. The blessing that brings a turn about (a turn about is the act of turning completely around in the opposite direction or a shift from one situation to another that is the complete opposite). The blessing of restoration reinstates, reestablishes or restitutes.

2. The blessing of a Double portion: The blessing that doubles, the blessing that gives twice as much as what was before, the double for your trouble blessing, the blessing that attracts honour, brings sympathy and gives comfort and compensation.

Let me show you;

In the book of Job, from the first chapter, Job’s faith was tested (not unlike the trials you and i have in our lives) and in a single day he lost his assets & wealth (7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 females donkeys), and all of his seven sons and three daughters. When God turned about Job’s situation, the book records that God blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning. I believe the blessing Job received was the twofold recompense mentioned in Isaiah.

See Job 42: 10
“And the lord (1)turned the captivity of job and restored his fortunes; also the lord(2) gave Job twice as much as he had before.” AMP.

God restored all of Jobs children and every asset he had lost, then he doubled it giving Job 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen and 1,000 female donkeys. Talk about double for your trouble! The blessing even overflowed to the next generation because Job’s daughters were the fairest girls in the land and although they were women, they received an equal inheritance as their brothers!

“Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever.”Isaiah 61: 7. MSG

It also happened for Joseph. When God turned Joseph’s slavery around, he restored his freedom and then he gave him double for his trouble- he took him from the prison to the palace! Wow! When God restores, he compensates; when he reverses captivity, he makes up for lost ground; when he allows you go through the shame and the blame; he allows you to be comforted! He sends a blessing of compensation- the twofold recompense!

He is a God who gives beauty for ashes, strenght for fear, gladness for mourning, peace for despair! He is a God who turns mourning into dancing! Who binds the broken hearted and heals their wounds! God will make us forget the pain of yesterday! He is a good God! Say with me:

Lord i thank you because i will rejoice in my portion.
Thank you because you will restore whatever i have been deprived of.
Thank you because you will compensate me for everything i have lost.
Thank you because i have double for my trouble. Amen

FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.

FALLING IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE.

I took another sad look at my blog the other day and decided to do something about the sinking feeling i felt at it’s unupdated status;
Nike, this simply wouldn’t do!
I am a writer, and a writer rights, write?
LOL

Recently, a friend of mine from school invited me to collaborate on his radio project. It’s called Da Music Room and it’s a radio spin off of Nigeria’s first gospel news and music magazine- Imbue Magazine. It would be motivating, uplifting, about music and for young people and hey, it was radio, i couldn’t resist! I and radio have a little history, hmmn now let me see...

Way back in secondary school i was in Press club. I can barely remember any constructive activities back then except the club meetings which were usually dominated by the senior students. I also vividly remember we paid club dues. One day, one of the seniors informed me that i was behind with my dues and she promptly proceeded to total up my indebtedness! When she announced the amount which must have been something in the region of N100- N150, i quickly withdrew my membership , alarmed that that was more than half of my pocket money at the time! LOL! So that was the end of Press club. They were kind enough to give me a certificate of membership to remember them by at graduation though!

I soon transited to University and joined the school’s radio club in my fourth year. It was a short but memorable stay! We ran the affairs of the station by ourselves, developed the programs, and came on air from 4pm everyday. I met other talented young people hungry to try out their raw and sometimes trained talent on the school airwaves. That was fun while it lasted and i met friends who are both in my life and in radio till today (you know who you are fam!).

School done and i moved out of my small town to the big city of real street lights, real cinemas and upwardly mobile people... everything looked big and fascinating! I figured the radio stations would be bigger, the sponsorships better and the guests more accessible and i was right but i had to start at the beaten tracks called NYSC,National Youth Service Corps.

During the weeks at the National Youth Service Corps boot camp, i joined the Orientation Broadcasting Service (OBS) as the Vice President for my batch. I developed programs for our make shift station and ran two of my own. One was a motivational talk and the other was about relationships. On the latter, i and my co – presenter would come up with naughty, pretend relationship problems and ask the other corp members to come up with advice...

’I have a boyfriend outside camp and i have fallen in love with someone here, what do i do?’

Corp members would then write their equally naughty responses and we’d broadcast their comments! It was hilarious! People would actually come into the studio while i was on to see the owner of the voice and i got a lot of complimentary shoutouts from our listeners! lol.

Soon after youth service i did a couple of things on the radio for friends but it would take me another year before i was invited to co- present for Da Music room. It airs in the capital city, Abuja and you can hear yours truly and co –presenter Paulette on Sunday afternoon, for a solid hour from 11pm – 12noon on hot 98.3 Abuja. This collaboration that started out of supporting my friend’s vision has come to be a blessing to me as well!

On a parting note, It’s been one busy year and i almost forgot how to live because of all the doings. BUT, i took time to fall in love with my life again and here’s how, it’s wholesome advice people and it’s all good- ENJOY!

1. EMBRACE WHERE YOU ARE
2. CELEBRATE YOUR LITTLE VICTORIES
3. TAKE ADVANTAGES OF OPPORTUNITIES IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT
4. ELIMINATE WORRY
5. PREPARE FOR YOUR FUTURE
6. WORK ON YOURSELF
7. INVEST IN RELATIONSHIPS
8. SPACE OUT YOUR GOALS
9. HUSTLE WHILE YOU WAIT
10. HELP OTHERS ACHIEVE THEIR DREAMS

BOBO OR BOO?

CONFESSIONS OF A BONDAHOLIC!

If girl- bonding were an art, i think i have perfected it! One of my girlfriends is counting down to her happily-ever-after, and she's been spending the precious remaining threads of her singlehood weaving stronger bonds with the girls and me! In between becoming experts on all things bridal and going over details and more details, we have found time for sisterly chats with the bride to be! Oh! don't worry about what that means, it's just girl -talk for saying we've been shameless busybodies!

I mean whether she is 40 or 22, the announcement of a girl's engagement always meets with a flurry of female, hair-flying, scream- squealing, hand- flapping, totally emotional displays! After the excitement settles, the blushing culprit, who is not just the fiancee and not yet a bride,is put through a gauntlet of questions; ranging from;

"when did you know he was the one?" to " are you scared?".

Then comes the admiration phase. This is when somewhere in the third degree session, this bride-to be suddenly grows from "the girl" of yester- years into a "confident woman" before your very eyes; as if her decision to take this leap of faith, has somehow baptised her into full womanhood. She begins to look like she knows something you, the single woman somehow do not see and that that singular thing makes her superior- makes her sure...set...ready!

"she's no longer on our level o!"

Then there's the last phase, where all your emotions first settle into deep respect for your friend, the conspiracy called love and the marriage instituition,before they finally sediment into a quiet, concealed assurance that if it can happen for one, then it can happen for the other!

oh, I just love happy endings!

wee!

Enuff Nike!

Ok, so i wrote this one about 6 months ago and couldn't think of a better time to share than now, so to all my Nigerian brothers and all the women who love them, this one's for you!

BOBO OR BOO?

If he can pass for a local on the outside but is an “onyibo” on the inside, you can be certain you have an intercontinental Nigerian guy a.k.a boo! You can tell because he doesnt wear “ankara” but always looks spiffy in crisp shirts from next or gap. He probably calls you “baby” and uses intangible pet names like “snugglebunny” to describe you. And yes, he doesnt always get your innuedos and you dont hear everything he says the first time, but when he says “i love you” , you know his is the voice you want to hear first thing when you wake up and last thing before you fall asleep! He knows how to pamper and spoil you and probably gives you flowers, chocolates, perfumes, and designer clothes from his trips abroad. He is quite the gentleman and probably pulls out your chair and opens the door for you. He doesn’t mind that you’re career driven and is quick to support you whether you want to be a doctor or an artist. When he tells you sweet nothings, you blush and giggle because even though you know it’s absolute rubbish, it makes perfect sense!

And if he says “i rove you” when he means “i love you”, then you know you have a naija guy with a local flavour, a.k.a bobo! You may fault his phonetics but there’s plenty to like about this son of the soil. With the right steel in his chest and the perfect pout on his lips, you can’t deny you secretly like his swagger and that almost brash way he talks in naija slang. He probably says stuff like “no long thing” and calls you pet names like “o baby”, “sweetim”or “Nne”, mother because yours reminds him of his mother’s love. He probably takes you to eat “nkwobe” and “isi ewu” and knows where to find the best point and kill joints where you can eat fresh fish. And even though he is not from your home town, he has won your family over and whenever he comes to visit, your siblings know that “big bros” is around. He understands the igbo word- “maintenance moni” and doesnt wait for you to ask but just takes care of it. He buys your recharge cards and doesn’t expect you to spend all of it on him and yes, he’s even man enough to tell you when he’s broke!

Regardless of the tonal inflections of his tribal language on the english language or the cultural imprint of his environment on his behaviour, naija man na naija man! So ladies lets make a toast, shall we, to the Nigerian man.

Naija man wey sabi!

All is fair in love, war... and boarding school?

OK i’m back!

I hadn’t expected my last post would be the last for ‘09 but it turned out that way. It wasn’t a typical case of writer’s block only that my entrepreneurial instincts have been awakened in the last three months and it’s taken every ounce of my creative energy leaving me none to write with. But i’m coming out of my hiatus and catching up with the rest of blogworld so hey everybody, i’m back!

Recently, an old friend contacted me for the first time in almost ten years. I was totally surprised to hear from her and was even more bewildered when i realised why she was getting back in touch. As the story slowly tumbled out, she explained that while we were in school together she had done something to me which i had completely forgotten. It was one of those schoolgirl pranks that didnt matter afterwards and now she was calling ten years later to apologise and restitute. I couldn’t stop myself from tearing up. In the middle of wondering why she hadn’t forgotten what had happened so long ago and of wondering what was causing her sudden need to make it up to me, i couldn’t help thinking of how important it is to mend fences when you can and not be in a position where you have to start looking for someone you’d offended to apologise later. I quickly put her worries to rest and assured her it didnt matter at all. Afterall, all is fair in love, war and boarding school, eh?

His word, His ways and His will.

This year i believe God’s Great help is available to do mighty things. I heard the phrase above early in the year and it very simply amplified for me the direction my quest for God would take. Many of us by reading it and hearing it, know God’s word (the bible) but we do not know God’s ways and are very often totally confused about His will. To know Him intimately, we need to know His word, His ways and His will. Knowing God’s word is only knowing a part of him. The part that speaks. But knowing God’s way is knowing the part that acts. The bible describes God’s ways as being higher than our ways , it also encourages us to observe the way God works and fall in line. God’s ways are intriguing. One of his ways is forgiveness. No matter what we do, God is ready to forgive us. Another one is love. It is in God’s character to love us inspite of what we do and who we are. That’s God. That’s just the way he is. We are called to be like Him in our ways too! When we know God’s word and God’s ways, it will be easy to discern His will.

So my silence has been broken, now i can go to bed... its ten past midnight! But before Zzzzs and before my foray into the land between asleep and awake, let me take out time to brag on another blogger whose blogs i follow, on the launch of her blog series now turned book “in my dreams it was simpler.” Favoured girl’s “ a journey down the aisle” is my favourite of her blogs and it chronicles her experience from her single and dating days up on till her married ones highlighting lessons she’s learnt along the way. She is very bold about her relationship with God and weaves it into all her stories of her human ones. In her blog you meet the lady , her lover and her lord . From blogs to books, she’s taking blogging to a new level! Reminds me of another blogger- Uche Eze of Bella Naija. Big ups ladies!

I totally look forward to the unfolding of two thousand and ten, this is the year for mighty men!